Lots of discomfort around vagina and anus area

The whole vagina has been red and sore for years, I used to have a thrush infection but it seems to have gone away, only leaving the red and itchiness. Recently a lump has appeared directly above the anus, pea-sized, not painful to touch. Squeezing it doesn't hurt. The vagina opening feels like it's on fire sometimes, where it's just so sore and itchy that I can't sleep or sit or walk comfortably. The skin above the lump and below the opening is the most saw and itchy area. The itchiness/soreness is mainly around this part, although it does move around to the top of the vagina, the anus opening and sometimes all over that area. One of my labia is small and red, whereas the other it grey and much bigger that it sticks out (although I read this was normal). The skin around the grey labia is loose and grey as well. I haven't had sex. I have also recently had a case of dehydration, where I had to go to A&E for severe stomach cramps (the worst pain I've ever felt) which they diagnosed as just dehydration, and the pain went away the more I drunk. I'm wondering if this is related or not. I've recently been to the doctors, where they tested a urine sample and said that I had a water infection, and they gave me a course of antibiotics which I think stopped some soreness, but the redness didnmt go away. The lump developed a bit after this. I don't want to go to the doctors for personaly reasons, but it's looking like I may have to. Any ideas?