The best "lubricant" I've found so far that works for either masturbation or sex, is just plain old saliva. It's slick enough to get the job done and not too slick. It doesn't stain your clothing and if you need more you have an unlimited supply. Just spit in your hand and rub it on your crank...just like she would.
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Soap will burn if it gets into your penis. (not a conversation you want to have with your parents when you need to go to the doctor.)
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