I'm a 32 year old adult woman with 3 adult sisters, all of us have families that are spread across the US. We have all recently noticed and experienced these emotional bouts of jealousy, anger and irrational thinking from our mom (62) when we visit her. I'll sort-of explain how they usually happen. The first day of the visit is great, everyone is happy and having fun. Second day, someone says or does something that my mom doesn't agree with. Like, she's cooking dinner, I walk in and ask if she wants help, she says no. I go sit with her husband talk. About a half hour later, my mom comes to get us for dinner and in a snotty voice invites us to come to the table. She then sits there in silence and refuses to eat or talk about anything.
When asked if she is upset she says no. She remains this way the rest of the night. Third day, she remains silent and upset but refuses to talk about anything that might have made her upset. She pouts in silence the entire day. Fourth day, everyone is extremely mad that they have wasted a trip to see her and all she does is pout. After continually pushing her to see what the problem is, she starts to talk. She then says that she is tired of trying to make us happy when all we do is use her. When asked what she means she then goes into how something as small as not recognizing that she wanted help with dinner that night. And that she shouldn't have to tell us that she wants to spend time with us. She is expecting us to read her mind.
She's even gone as far as telling us that she should have never had children and that she doesn't love us because all we do is hurt her. When she becomes this emotional it is next to impossible to rationally talk to her. She is constantly say "oh so it's me that has to change" or "oh it's always my fault." But the reality is that we have traveled and taken time off of work to see HER and spend time with HER and more times than not, she spends the majority of the time pouting like a two year old. When more than one of us sisters visits, she becomes very jealous if there is ever a moment where she wasn't involved. Every single of us has experienced this. She's even been upset that we are spending more time with a niece than with her.
She hasn't always been this way and we are all thinking that there may be something wrong with her. She has become so touchy that we don't know how to approach this topic with her. Any words of advice would be great. No one wants to visit her anymore and we really need something to change.