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My mom is an aclcoholic. I have done everything to try and help her. She always gets mad at my brothers and me because she says we don't appreciate her. We do appreciater her and love her soberly but when shes drunk we despise her. I am 17 and my brothers are 9 and 11. They have been so emotionally traumatized that I am worried for their future. Not only is their mom an alcoholic but their dad (my ex-step dad) is in jail. I want to just leave this family and I am going to college next year but I dont want to leave my brothers. I cant just abandon them. But I dont know what to do. I feel so alone. And I love my mom when she is sober she is amazing but when shes drunk shes horrible. A while ago my nine year old brother had to call 911 because she was so drunk. She knows she has a problem and she wants to get better (so she says) but she isnt getting better. Everything is getting worse and worse. My dad died when I was nine and like I mentioned before my ex step dad is in jail. I dont know what to do . My family is falling apart. I get good grades and I am confident in myself and who I am. I am just scared for my brothers. I see them turning into such bad kids. They have been through so much and I think they feel so alone and they are so young and they have been through so much. I want to be there for them and take care of them but I also need to live my own life. I want to have no relationship with my mom, but then again I love her. I dont know I just dont know what to do. My mom has been through so much and she gets mad when I talk to her about her drinking problem because she says I dont get it. But I do get it because I have been through a lot too and I dont turn to alcohol. what do i do when I go to college and my brothers have to stay alone with her? I need help my family is completely falling apart.

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All of this is too much of a burden for you to be carrying yourself - I completely understand that if you don't act and do something to make sure your brothers are ok while you're in college, than most likely no one else will. But, not only do you need to have your own life, the way I see it, even if you gave up and took care of them yourself (which would be ruining your future, considering the grades and promising future), the questions is how and if you would be successful at that. The last thing you need is more resentment.

But, the thing is, does she admit she is an alcoholic and is she willing to really commit herself to the change, but the real change, like some rehabilitation program? And are there any other near family members who could be by your side in this? As harsh as it may sound, I feel that you have the best chance if you try to find and consult a good professional service. Your brothers are minors, and this situation should have already alarmed the social services?
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I went thru the same thing as a kid, that was an eternity ago. I tried, unsuccessfully, to get BOTH my parent's to stop drinking to no avail. It ended when my mom got cancer. They would fight and hit each other and i would put my head phone's on in my room so i wouldn't hear them. Between the cop's and the ambulance's constantly showing up, i was a wreck. What i am trying to say is hat you can not fix your mom, i couldn't. I would cry and beg and plead to no avail. I am the only child from a very small extended family, with no one for support at that time. You have to worry about yourself. I know your brothers are of a concern to you, as they should be, but you have to worry about yourself first. It will be worse for her when you do leave for school, on the other hand, i went out and got pregnant. Stupid i know, that was the way i handled it. Ugh! Talk to family member's, grandparent's maybe. Ask them for some support for your brother's. Move ahead with your plan's. That probably sound's really rotten of me to say but you have to take care of your life and promising future.
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Sorry and good luck I know u hurt but KNOW it has NOTHING to do with you or anyone else but her inability to cope tell her you REFUSE to help or enable her in any way if she wont go to an alcohol detox AND after care to learn coping skills she doesn't know she possesses. since alcohol is legal it is the WORST I dont know anyone who successfully QUIT without proper after care remember your mom is fighting her own head! morals and virtues she KNOWS she is wrong do an intervention call that A&E show they will help I had a friend on there ...still sober 7 mos later its not as farfetched as you may think  call Alanon  did I spell that right ?  ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** web addresses not allowed***

 

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Hello, my mother is 69years old and has been drinking my whole life 35 years. She is getting worse she falls hitting her head etc...  I have told her I love her and that I am here for her I have tried to help her stop but she goes into DT,s real bad to the point of a seizure this is scary as hell to me and my family. She says she won't stop and why God won't take her. Now we just had my sister arrested for murder and when the police told me to go check on my disabled niece my mother was drunk when she saw me she called the police because a year ago she placed a restraining order on me to keep me away  so she and my sister could stay in their addiction. In the past I have called authorites  but they did nothing told me to stop bothering my mom and sister. So now I have a sister in jail due to my drunkness my autistic niece is in a foster home I am so confused because my mother only has me and my sister who is clearly gone now. and I am placed in a situation where the local cps does not want my mother around my niece and I am her only family. Should I get my niece or help my mother, this makes me very sad because my mother does not even want to get sober for her autistic granddaughter now she has even said maybe my niece does not need to be around her. This is crazy I am drained and runned thin I feel I am only being asked to help cause my siste was arrested if that never happened they probably would still not be talking to me. And on top of that my sister stole my mothers settlement she got for that mesotheleoma stuff 30,000 that was gone in 2 months ago. Just when I started getting my calmness they came and have put things in chaos. I had to drop out of school I am having to go to court for my niece and the social worker clams I may have a problem getting my nieces due to all the false cps calls my mother and sister put on me none picked up just harrassing calls that were not needed. Please I know I put alot out there but can someone give me some advice on how to handle this. I may not make much sense beings I've been up all night watching my mother almost break her neck on my coffey table and throwing up all night nothing cause she won't eat nothing. I sit and cry because I can't believe things are where they are. I don't want this to have it's toll on my marriage we already have had some bumps in the road...



OPEN EYES AND WILLING TO TAKE SOME ADVICE PLEASE HELP..........................
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