My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months now. He was a virgin before me and we have been having sex for about 2 months. Sometimes when we have sex it's great, but other times he will get soft even while he is still inside me. This usually happens when we use a condom. He says he can't feel anything through the condom, but a couple times even when we took the condom off he couldn't stay hard. I'm beginning to worry that it's a lack of interest in me.
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If your boyfriend was a Virgin does he maybe feel intimidated by you? Have you had previous partners and does he feel he has to measure up to them? I am a guy who has endured the same experience. When I first had sex, my partner was much older and had been with several partners and I always felt like I was being judged against her previous encounters. This put considerable pressure on us and left me sometimes feeling inadequate. Speak to him about how you feel but don't patronise him, he will know the difference. We men become suspicious with statements of "you are the best I have had" is this simply at attempt to boost ego or something that is true? The real truth is in COMMUNICATION talk to him and let him know of this. It may be difficult but if you are right for each other you will resolve these issued in the end!
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definetly confront him about it, in the most understanding way possible. It could be that there is some type of performance anxiety involved, like if he is able to measure up to your previous partners, or even satisfy you at all. the more you talk about it with him the more you will know about what's goin on and how to fix it.
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I have the exact same problem that your b/f has. Trust me, if he wasn't interested in you he just wouldn't bother. It definetely is performance anxiety(as is mine-and I was not a virgin,I was just through a very tough period with no sex at all and afraid about if I could please my new g/f as I had been mocked by the previous one). What you should do is talk with him or even better show him that he can openly talk to you about it without feeling embarassed. Trust me,communication is everything!
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i cannot usually maintain an erection while having sex. This is very tough to deal with. i am 18 years old and i hate it. Your boyfriend probably wants to have sex with you but is not capable. He may very well, not even be aware of what is causing his problem, because i am not sure. Hopefully this helps out someone, maybe just knowing you're not alone. i hate this. It makes me stressed out, and makes me have low self esteem and confidence.
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Thought I would share my experience in case it helps. I am 49 and dating a 42 year old who is very sexy and she really turns me on. She has had a libido problem for a year or so which makes her not interested or excited (at all) in having sex. So, I try so hard to spend alot of time with foreplay to try to get her excited, but rarely does that work because she really just wants to get the sex over with since she has no libido. I have an erection often when I am around her, but she is not spontaneous to have sex when my time is right. She usually only wants to try at night when I am most tired. Recently, I have had a problem, not getting an erection, but keeping it long enough to get inside her, particularly since she is not wet. It is stressful because I worry about that and also about the fact that I know she is not excited and she does very little to make sex exciting and keep me excited. I am pretty much responsible for trying to get her excited and keep myself excited at the same time and that is hard. I have started to wonder if I have a problem in keeping an erection or is it being caused by the circumstances surrounding my current sex life. Do I need some type performance enhancer?
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i will share my experience, as i also want some answers !!!
my boyfriend and i were having sex the other day, and i was on top, and i asked to switch positions just for a change so just as we were doing it he complained of a pain in his penis and he went soft and couldn't get hard again !!!
would like to know if anyone has had the same problem and knows why this is?!
my boyfriend and i were having sex the other day, and i was on top, and i asked to switch positions just for a change so just as we were doing it he complained of a pain in his penis and he went soft and couldn't get hard again !!!
would like to know if anyone has had the same problem and knows why this is?!
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For younger men who can get an erection, but can't maintain it, I recommend a penis band. These are the same bands used on penis pumps to hold the erection. Most of my patients are able to use this long enough to get over the "stage fright" and then one night they are so hot and passionate, they forget the ring, and usually don't need it again.
For older me, pain, stress, hormone changes, normal aging can cause some difficulty in this area. Younger men can get an erection, lose it, get it back again; but older men, once they lose their initial erection, they face a plateau, similar to if they had ejaculated, and have a "refractory period" before they can get another erection. These men often need to proceed quickly to intercourse, and then spend time pleasing the partner, or try the band mentioned above.
If over 45 and your having these problems, see a family doctor for a quick exam and a blood test. Don't get frustrated if you lose the erection: you still have a woman to worship, adore and delight with time like you never had before!
For older me, pain, stress, hormone changes, normal aging can cause some difficulty in this area. Younger men can get an erection, lose it, get it back again; but older men, once they lose their initial erection, they face a plateau, similar to if they had ejaculated, and have a "refractory period" before they can get another erection. These men often need to proceed quickly to intercourse, and then spend time pleasing the partner, or try the band mentioned above.
If over 45 and your having these problems, see a family doctor for a quick exam and a blood test. Don't get frustrated if you lose the erection: you still have a woman to worship, adore and delight with time like you never had before!
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A lot of young men lose their erections just at the moment when they try to put the condom on. They usually describe this as 'not being able to get on with condoms'.
***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed
***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed
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Dont worry about it, my boyfriend found it hard when we first had sex, he was a virgin, it was the feeling of the condom that made him soft but now after 8 years no problems, they cant feel much till the get use to it
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Anyone heard or tried this natural product for erectile dysfunction called Virection? I wanna try one of these natural products but how can you decide which one actually works?
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I have kind of a similar problem to some of you. We get the condom on great and then he performs great and stays hard when he's on top but then as soon as I am on top, he goes soft. Any suggestions?
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i'm 16 and so is my girlfriend, she is the 2nd person av slept with as i have had 1 previous sexuall experience... shes had 6 before me.... anytime am with her i get erection but some days when it comes down to sex i can get hard straight away but will begin to lose it if i dont quickly put on a condom n get crackin... even then i start to soften quick i dont feel nervous, anxious, or intimidated by her butnwhat quite about of people dont relise is men are sometimes not up for sex... even though from my personal experience av been like yeahh a cant wait n when she gets her we go straight into it and a few times this has happened.. its extremly embarrising and happened too me twice the 2nd time a said to her i was sorry i wasnt sure wat was wrong and she began to cry as she fot it was her fault... say this to him the next time it happens "babe, relax it doesnt matter wat happens here your always amazing" just any i love you stuff to raise his self isteme.. if you just pretend like you dont no wats hapnin he'l feel terrible and when it comes down to doing it next time he'l be nervous and wont last atall :-) hope av helped x
best way to keep him hard is by pushing back durin sex.. show him ur enjoying it, smile, grab, scratch, bite, kiss, moan and groan just go WILD !!
best way to keep him hard is by pushing back durin sex.. show him ur enjoying it, smile, grab, scratch, bite, kiss, moan and groan just go WILD !!
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I'm glad I'm not alone with this! I'm having the same problem with my boyfriend. I'm 27 and he's 23. He can get an erection but, he just can't maintain it. We had intercourse for the first time in our relationship a few days ago (it was his first time as he was a virgin) and it was really because I had to get him inside me quickly after a little foreplay. If we go on too long with it, he loses his erection. I've tried talking to him about it without making him feel inadequate, and I've also tried telling him to relax and not to worry about the other guys I was with. However, it's a sensitive topic because he feels like he isn't pleasing me whenever I bring it up. I really care about him and he's a sweet person but, I also want to do whatever it takes to liven up our sex life without having to worry about him not keeping an erection. Besides, I like prolonged foreplays before sex, lol.
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It could a number of reasons maybe he has Erectile Dysfunction it doesn't only happen to older men it can happen to young guys. Or maybe he is a pre mature ejaculator there are some guys who cum while they are having sex and don't tell you because they are embarassed they finished fast so they lose their erection so that might be it. Just talk to him and try to figure out but try to be understanding don't judge him.
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