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I need some help.

I'm in a relationship with a girl. We've had sex a few times, but I have yet to reach orgasm. I don't really have a problem with it, but I feel bad because I think it's making her feel like she's doing something wrong or I'm not enjoying myself. We've talked about it, but there's only so much that can do. On top of that, it would be really nice to have an orgasm during sex. I've tried not masturbating between when I see her, but it hasn't worked.

Help me?

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I had a similar issue with my own girlfriend for a time. It cleared up with time and a more in depth learning of one another.

It seems to me, (And I realize that my opinion is certainly not definitive in any special way.) that it was more a trust issue then a true biological failing; It's not that I couldn't, just that I wasn't sure I wanted to, on some level.
I had masturbated fine right up till we started having sex. It was just the new experiance and mindset of having sex.
Keep trying? Practice your oral sex skills on your girlfriend, so she doesn't lose faith in your want to have sex, until you can achieve orgasm.
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Hello! There are some of the reasons why you can't reach an orgasm during the intercourse. The first and the most common is because you still don't know anything about erogenous zones for men or you haven't found what works for you. Also, maybe you are using some medications that can have a big influence on this.Maybe you have some health conditions, just like one of my friends. He had diabetes but he didn't' know that this can stop him from having a normal intercourse. Have you ever heard about "performance anxiety"? In case if you didn't, this refers to having a fear to be yourself in the bed while you are with your partner. So many reasons for this, my brother...

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Hi all,
So I'm with the same girl and I'm continuing to have problems reaching an orgasm. She can usually get me most of the way, but I always have to finish myself. I'm beginning to think that when I masturbate, maybe I'm doing it in a way she can't really replicate. Too hard or too fast. Is this possible? And if that's the case, how can I change my habits so that I don't have to do it so hard or fast in order to climax? The simple answer is obviously don't do it so hard or fast, but if that's the only way I've been able to cum, how can I change it? I would really really appreciate any advice. It's starting to make my girlfriend feel like she's doing something wrong and I hate making her feel that way.
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My hubby and I have been together for 8 yrs now and we still have this issue. Never been able to get him over the edge with sex and only a few times by hand the next of the time he has to finish himself. At first I felt like it was my failing but I realize I just (as you said) can't do it as hard or fast as he does it. As long as everything else is satisfying I can't imagine its going to be an issue ;-)
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I am having the similar issue I have been having intercourse with my partner for awhile and I have problems having my orgasm and it does make her feel bad I've only found one position that I can and that's no guarantee so if anyones got any ideas let me know.
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Usually this happens to me because i ejaculated recently, try resisting the temptation to ejaculate for a few days id say about one week, i guarantee you, when you return to practice sex you will have a more pleasing sexual experience !!!
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I've have never achieved orgasm during sex and only once with a girl but I had to masturbate during the end, I mean, I had sex for a good 6 hours and she apparently had a few orgasms and it was all I could do to keep it up. I feel like I have no sensitivity or something, but I feel nervous or that I'm on the spot when I have sex. Like I have to cum and I'm usually more concerned about her than I am about myself and somehow cannot mentally feel like I'm just using her to get off, for some reason I have a mental and emotional hang up about sex, as if I don't want the other person to feel like I'm using them, I can't think of them as an object and I believe it keeps me tense and unable to orgasm or enjoy sex.

Maybe I need some psychiatric help? I was molested as a child and have had some ups and downs in life, long passed it doesn't own my life, but perhaps somewhere in the subconscious it has formed the way I see myself socially among peers or to myself, but, IDK. I can masturbate fine alone, but with someone else, very difficult
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If you can reach orgasm through masturbation and not during intercourse then the real root of the issue is a mental one. Sexual intimacy is as much mental as it is physical. Usually the root issue is you've experienced something in life from your past that has given you a twisted view of sexual relations. I suggest you talk to a mental health professional.
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I have had this problem with both girls I had sex with. I now have this fear of sex. =/ I think if I didn't masturbate for a week before intercourse I might perform just fine, but we'll have to wait and see.
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i posted a similar topic. medic_dan told me to "save" sperm for a while lol. i hope u understand what i mean *no jerking off , no sex *. then after a period of time you do it again with all you got and see where it goes from there. i will try that too. and i was also advised to use thinner condoms to maximize pleasure. i will try to do all those things and give you guys feedback. i hope this solves your problems.
believe me...i know the pain...all the girls i 've been with , they think i cant cum because i dont like them or they are doing something wrong. it sux. :-(
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wow im glad im not the guy in the world that cant climax during sex or a ha****b it makes me so depressed about it because i thought i was gay or somthing because i couldnt cum but now im thinking im very pickky on how its done i think she cant go as fast as me or shes holding it wrong but its the same with sex maybe im used to my hand? idk but i had sex a few times maybe i need more pratice at it im hope this problem will not go on like this because its stressfull maybe theres a pill i can take to make me cum faster
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mate it does get stressful, i remember when i was younger, it was great because i could have these super long sex sessions. and although it was a bit sore afterwards my missus would love it and brag about it. the only trick that helps me now is i tend to mplay with yourself about 3-4 times a day but not to the point of orgasm, just for half an hour or so, then after 5 or 6 days of doing this, it will then only take me about a few hours to cum :-) which is great. when i first started doing this is was hard (no pun intended) and requires a bit of self restraint. but you will deffo reap the benefits. it feels like it has all built up and is just awesome when it goes lol!!!! enjoy
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people dont worry you all need and including me need our mind set on who we want to have sex with and when we want to masterbate, if we are thinking to much about it, nothin can be done, we need to sexually, physically and mentally attracted to the girl, dont masterbate too much, stay calm, have all your emotions built first than go for her, if you are still not satisfied you have developed a phobia, seek help, you are completely healthy, just that the girl may not be the best for you, or you have practiced in a way that when you actually play the game, you are not use to it becasue your practice does not match with your actual game skills.
I hope i make sense i am a 21 year old guy and going through the same thing, this is what i willl be following.
Hope that helps
Cheers
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Quote:

[...] but I feel nervous or that I'm on the spot when I have sex. Like I have to cum and I'm usually more concerned about her than I am about myself and somehow cannot mentally feel like I'm just using her to get off, for some reason I have a mental and emotional hang up about sex, as if I don't want the other person to feel like I'm using them, I can't think of them as an object and I believe it keeps me tense and unable to orgasm or enjoy sex. "



^^This. This is exactly how I feel when I'm having sex with my girlfriend, word for word. Is it wrong to feel this way? Or I suppose a better question is "is it wrong to think of them as my object?"
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