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I am 39 years old, been married to the same man for 20 years, and have never really experienced an orgasm...even though we used to enjoy sex and it was a normal daily thing..we eventually stopped having it at all...as a matter of fact we have only had intercourse 2 times in nearly 6 years.  I feel it is partly because of my self consciousness of the clitoris problem..a few years ago, I noticed that it just wasnt there anymore. This has really affected the way I feel about myself. I cant seem to get stimulated, no matter what we try...I have very little sensitivity down there..and I feel like this is destroying our marriage...and then on top of that...recently I think my bladder or uterus had dropped or something because every time I cough, laugh, sneeze or make a sudden move, I pee on myself...and the urine absolutely sets me on fire, this is excrutating pain.  The urine has a very strong ammonia smell. When I wipe myself I can see the skin just peeling off and now I am RAW..I have tried several creams, salves, ointments, and nothing seems to help.  Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for me..

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A lot of people dont believe this but Preparation H will take all stretch marks as well as scars away, of course it doesnt do it over night, but if you are devoted and apply it daily on the area you will notice a difference about about 1 month.
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See a urologist or your general doctor. It sounds like an infection (for your second problem). This is urgent as it can spread to the kidneys. At least have your urine tested.
Also, the clitoris never disappears. Changes in your levels of estrogen might have caused the change, like pre-menopause can do. You are not old enough for menopause, but hormone levels can change. Try a variety of lubricants, once your urinary problem is cleared up. Use them to glide over your own anatomy down there to find your sweet spot, even if it's not as responsive as before, and learn what works now.
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It sounds to me that you have genital (lichen) sclerosis and you need to see someone immediately. Doctors that will treat it are Gynecologists, Urologists and Dermatologists, this is a skin condition that can create huge issues sexually, and yes, your clitoris can dissolve and/or be replaced with scar tissue. You need to see a doctor right now as this problem can lead to serious urinary tract issues and has been connected to some genital cancers, it is not contagious.
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