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I believe my girlfriend is a rather unique case. Simply because shes not like anyone I've ever slept with before and anything I read on the subject does not apply to her. But she is an amazing person and I love her and its absolutely killing me that I can't give her an orgasm.

When we started dating, she was a virgin. She also had never experienced an orgasm. I talked to her about it and she does not find anything wrong with the idea of masturbating its just that she can't seem to be able to. Any clitoris stimulation is unpleasant for her. She can't do it to herself. And she does not like anything I do. Now, my previous 2 girlfriends would both enjoy it when I stimulated their clits and over a total of 7 years of doing it, I'd consider myself good at it by now. Problem is, as I said, nothing I do is pleasant. No matter how softly or gently I do it. Oral does not work either.

So we moved on to regular sex. She is a rather... tight girl, so I paved the way with my fingers the first few days, until she could comfortably take in my penis. I tried to stimulate her G-spot with my fingers and the first few times she did wriggle and moan and say it was extremely pleasant to the point where she wanted to cry. And that she had need to pee sensation. I said this was good and that she should just relax and "pee". I even put a towel underneath in case of any accidents. But she never climaxed and the peeing sensations just got so bad as to the point of being painful and uncomfortable and drowned out any pleasure. We then made sure she went to the bathroom before doing anything sexual together, and even made a few quick trips during, but now my fingers only ever make her want to pee, with absolutely no pleasure... :( So we gave up on that and moved on to proper sex.

Even though that still hurt at first. She never bled, though I read that its normal, as not all hymens break, some just stretch and get out of the way. She does not feel the need to pee when its not my fingers that are inside her. And after the first few times the pain completely went away, so there is no discomfort. Except that me thrusting only rarely causes her any pleasure, and even that is nothing special. Most of the time she does not feel anything. She says she can feel me moving inside her, but no pleasant sensations at all. We used lubrication at first, now we don't as she is always very wet. Her clitoris is also always hard when we try intercourse, so she IS aroused... but she just can't "get off"... The thing to note is that if while thrusting I ever accidentally brush up against her clitoris, any and all pleasure (no matter how small) she might have felt, completely goes away. So clitoris stimulation is completely out of the question. We have tried several different positions (missionary, her sitting on me, me from behind while we're on our sides, doggy), with pretty much the same results.

So please, if anyone can shed any light on any of this, please just let me know. She gives me so much pleasure, and I can't repay her, no matter what I try. The next thing we're going to try is her cutting her nails (she has very beautiful long nails) and trying to stimulate her own G-spot, so that she can perhaps better guide me. But that is it, that will be the last thing we can think of to try... Additional note: She absolutely detests the idea of a vibrator. "I have a boyfriend, I should not need a vibrator to feel pleasure."

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Research the a-spot, oor deep spot.
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use your tounge.... it will help a lot... i'm pretty sure that she will be at that moment
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Okay it could be the fact that she needs help to feel turned on. One of my friends can be turned off by alot of things and is very hard to turn on. She went to the doctor and they gave her a medician to help her out in bed. Now her mairrage is so much happier.

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Your describing more less exactly my situation with my gf. Clitoral stimulation agitated her, peeing sensation, lube in the begging now shes wet. She also has never masturbated although she has an open attitude about sex and yet she has her hang ups like most girls do.

I think i am further along this path than you are, ive researched endlessly and kept trying different things. We have been dating for a year now and she has never orgasmed in her life, but i feel like we are getting there. It takes time and patience from both of you. Try not to make an orgasm a goal your aiming towards, rather enjoying the moment with her, try to prolonge intercourse by going slow, breathing heavily and deeply whilst going slow, let her do PC muscle exercises that will help her alot when the time comes. They r usually done by stopping pee mid flow for 3 seconds and then releasing it for another 3 and repeat.

Clitoral use to annoy her so i left it alone, until i figured out how to approach it differently. spend ALOT of time in foreplay, kissing gently, caressing, playful motions, increase both her and your arousal level, you have to get her higher than usual with excitement. Once that happens her clitoral is going to be engorged but the sensation is too strong for her and she wont enjoy it, so kiss and lick the lips around it and very light pressure. She still doesnt understand her feeling down there and its overwhelming, she doesnt know how to communicate with her body, so eaaaase her into it, show her the ever so light sensations and work your way up, dont go for the ones that make her cum.

after a while she will enjoy clitoral stimulation, but its not whats going to make her cum, she is a squirter, she needs G-spot assisted by clitoral, at the high point of arousal u can take two fingers or three and more rapidly left and right over the clitoral barely touching it, i feel like its the equivalent of jacking off for her.

If you follow the path of introducing sensations slow, research squirting, be patient and understand that most of her issues are mental, she has hang ups and fears and insecurities that could be not even sex related, just self esteem issues, it will be VERY difficult for her to orgasm, squirters need to be free in their mind and super comfortable with themselves and their partners. I have recommend a sex therapist for my gf and she found that talking about it with her helped her alot figure things out about herself and her body.

I havent reached my goal yet but frequently now when we have sex she says to me that if she knew how to release it she could have, something that was rarely there before. Most articles i have read say that she needs to learn how to make herself orgasm by herself and then she can do it with me.

Also a very helpful technique is getting her in touch with her spirituality, as i told you the problem is in her perception of herself and the world around her and coming to a "Zen" place is going to make her able to identify and experience sensations alot better.

I hope this helped, wish me luck on my journey :)

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As a woman who has previously never liked my clitoris being stimulated before, I have found how to orgasm using a clitoris vibrator. The key is relaxation so would suggest perhaps she tries it on her own after a relaxing bath, closing the bedroom door, switching off the phone etc. As soon as that feeling starts that she doesn't think she is going to like, persevere and carry on with the vibrator moving over and around the clitoris until she finds the spot that makes her mind explode. I used to stop at that point finding it unpleasant but have, at the ripe old age of 45, found what truly blows my mind and am happily masturbating 3-4 times a day! Good luck.
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How's your girlfriend ever going to a doctor to have her clitoris examined? Sometimes girls get thing called clitoral adhesions, which makes it painful to touch it. It's pretty simple for the doctor to fix too.

 

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Err, I meant to ask "has" your GF ever gone to the doc...
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I met a wonderful woman in New York many, many years ago. We liked each other and eventually it was time to "put up or shut up". She told me sex was painful for her, and she simply couldn't do it, period. Of course, we went our separate ways shortly thereafter. One day, flying to California from New York several years later, there was an article on the Gay Scene in West Los Angeles. Lo and Behold, there was a picture of my former girlfriend and her lesbian partner, co-owners of an extremely successful girl bar in West LA. Then in understood why sex had been painful for her; at least sex with men. No hard feelings (no pun intended), she was a wonderful, wonderful woman!
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In my teens, I tried masturbating. Couldn't manage to come. But I had my first 'wet' dream at 16. Which gave me hope that it was possible. Problem was a teeny tiny clit, completely covered by the hood and it was too sensitive to directly touch (including tongue).  Eventually, found dry humping with boyfriend, fully clothed or naked worked just fine. Fingering and oral was physically painful. When had sexual intercourse the first time, after a long make-out session, I found my over-sensitive clit worked very well with sex. All of those motions carried across the vulva straight to the clit. Of course, I was over twenty before I found that out with partners shoving fingers in my crotch and probably wondering if they should be bringing a magnifying glass with them.

 

I think this emphasis on the clitoris and g-spot can be a problem for those of us who are over sensitive. It's enjoyable when these two spots are left alone. Direct pressure is more like getting poked in the eye. Once I learned what not to touch, orgasms came fast and somewhat prematurely until  I got the hang of it. Every woman is different.

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Thankyou so much. i dont feel like the only guy in the world, i spent countless hours searching and searching thankyou so much.
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Have her squeeze her pelvis just tighten up during the time you are trying to stimulate her. I am a woman and thats how i learned. It took me a long time to Orgasm until i learned to squeeze tightly.

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the "pee" sensation is her vaginal secretions flowing up into her urethra making her feel like she has to pee. this sometimes causes squirting which can be confused with urinating. Imagine the fear of urinating all over your loved one, most likely the thought of her peeing while you are having sex is very overwhelming and stressful causing her to think too much and not enjoy herself. She is over thinking it and not enjoying herself. I recommend that you educate her what her body is doing so she wont be afraid and she can enjoy herself. Tell her you would think its sexy if she squirted and your not afraid of her bodily functions, eliminate her self conscious thoughts and fears the mind is a very powerful thing.
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You haven't been with that many women. Not an insult - just means you are young as we all were. Woman and orgasms are nothing like men and theirs. Some women can have an orgasm just by you stroking their arm, And sadly, some women have never had an orgasm during intercourse. These are the 2%'ers at opposite ends of the curve, with all others spread somewhere between those two extremes. Some women will beat you to an orgasm every time, while others require prolonged sex. Some can have multiple orgasms, some only one. Some find sex "pleasurable" but are unsure if they even had an orgasm while others experiencing the same pleasure say it's just one continual orgasm. Clitorises are the same way. Some women like direct contact, some can't stand it. Some like it - or even require it - but you better not touch it after they orgasm because it is hypersensitive. Beginning to see why Freud referred to women as the "Dark Continent?" You may have moved on by now, but your girlfriend seems to be on the harder to climax side. But, there is one thing going for her, and you --- she's inexperienced and still learning her body and how she responds. She simply doesn't know yet what she likes and doesn't like. She will, and so will you if you are still with her.

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This decribes my gf of 3 years very well, each year I have gotten closer, but if i rub her clit, she will start stiffening up, and push me away like its not painful, but its to senstive and its unpleasant, I will do some research to help her out more maybe look into the doctor, I just never been with a female before that disliked her clit rubbed, and she gets close to get off, but can never get off, is there something wrong with her?

She is always turned on ready to go, gets enough sleep, but it just worries, me, if something is wrong we would like to get it better, sometimes its so bad she push me off she will just hurt for not getting off. or if its just penitation it takes forever to get off and she just explains it as being couple drips, and she hurts for not getting off completely~  i wish it just wasnt so unpleasant for her, and a good experience. even a vibrator is to much~ even trying not having sex for a month its still the same, from playing to much or to little, it just way to sensitve, 

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