so i've been with my girlfriend now for over 3 months. i'm crazy in love with the girl, best one i've had yet - easily. problem with me is i've never really been in a committed long-term relationship, really ever. i haven't had a ton of sexual partners either, just been doing my thing single. we've started out great, solid relationship amazing vibes, etc. etc. sex has been great too. she orgasms just about every time we have sex, and i was fine in the beginning. then all of a sudden it started getting in my head, where i was putting pressure on myself to orgasm because she already had, even though she couldn't care less how long or short it took - that's how great she is. so a few times i was unable to orgasm, or I would give up, sometimes she got frustrated but other times she dealt with it because she is doing her best to understand i'm a bit neurotic and once i get in my head it screws up everything. we also had some issues where i stopped being able to get it with a condom on but then i was fine without it. i was fine up until recently, either way, when suddenly we were having sex and i straight up went soft. i admit i once again got in my own head for one reason or another, but usually when i do this i'm able to stay hard - but now i couldn't even do that. she was not happy about it at all - and who would be? so the next couple of days she either gave me head or gave me a hand job, and i came just fine. now last night, while giving me a blow job i went completely soft and it ruined everything. it has carried over to today and she is starting to feel like i don't love her and am not into her anymore, and it really is not the case. my problem is i have a serious anxiety now about feeling like anytime we have any intercourse that 1) i'm not going to orgasm and 2) now i'm just going to end up going soft which is even worse. i feel like i need to seek help because i'm so anxious about it now and i'm so scared i might lose this girl because she feels like i'm not into her anymore which really is not the case at all. i do admit i have some stresses and anxieties about life and finances and career situations, but i don't know if this carries over. i just can't get this worry out of my head and i don't know what to do.
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Listen to me:
I know what it's like to have these fears. It's totally normal. You need to sit down with her and tell her everything. If you love each other, then honest, open communication should be a breeze.
Try to do some things that will jump start your sexual health. The first thing that comes to mind is intense exercise: 25min/day. Maybe try weight-lifting?
Exercise will also benefit your sleep. Which boosts the sex drive, and reduces anxiety.
Red meat is also said to boost testosterone - which should increase sex drive.
Nervousness can kill an erection, no doubt about that. Don't force it. If you don't feel "up to it", take a break. Postponing ejaculation for 24 hours can definitely benefit the next round of sex.
And don't forget to give her head=)
Good luck!
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