Yes I know theres one hundred and one others out there but I needed to post my own topic, my story from begining to present (PLEASE READ) I need it Im 19 years old first and fore most here it goes I was curious to know what marijuana was when I was about say 13 or 14 (8th grade) and decided to experiment tried it, immedietly after I tried this I felt amazing, smoked weed for the whole summer until highschool. In highschool though you would think I would have kept smoking I hung out with another crowd, and picked up a blunt, piece, etc 5 times at the least at the very most 10 times (during highschool) after I graduated I picked it back up again heavily (possibly due to get away from break up issues) but yeah heavily smoking everyday getting high blazing my mind away, even my friends from highschool (the good crowd got into it) either way so yeah I did it for days on end until I got caught with the rents soooo I stoped for about 7 months, no negative side effects (thank god) BUT I picked it up for about the last 6 months on and off you can say but since my birthday july 6 o man first panic attack every from weed, tripping balls I took at least 5 HUGE bong rips a bunch of peice rips the works, and it hit me, I felt like I was spinning everything felt 2 demensional, I felt paniced, scared, alone, everyone was laughing because I was "tripping out" besides the point from then on I still continued to smoke pot but its never been the same everytime I smoke I get that, ive decided to smoke completly (if my will power can do it) its been about 2 weeks but I suffer from anxiety, panic attacks every once in a while, depersonalization, dereliazation, I want my life to go back to its normal self. If your still reading this which I pray to the lord you are because I do need help/hope I tried salvia (halucagin) once before the first panic attack, but ive been feeling different ever since because I seriously went into another deminsion my body was being cut into peices but when I snaped out of the trip my friends said I looked like I was dieing (seriously it felt like it) from then on after the trip (still smoking) is when my perspective of life changed to a certain degree questioning alot. like a dumbass I took philosophy twice bad bad idea it just gave me more questions to deal with. Either way im here now im christian but not too hardcore all my friends are pot heads (no joke all of them) even my sisters my parents are totally against it but they know of my problem (panic attack) and I let them know because I seriously want to come down from this dream like sensation (depersonalization/derelization/panic attack/anxiety) I think god was testing me the first time I quit because I never really had it this bad, and I kept testing him back pushing the button well now he has put his foot down and mentally blocked me from marijuana and from what it seems the rest of my life. I want to go back to a normal mind state, ive been clean for 2 weeks the doctor perscriped some pills that I looked up online after he gave to me and realized they can cause even more so f**k that I dont need to be some medication because im not crazy as I can tell everyone else on this form has this as well, so it is not uncommon. Im trying my hardest fighting my own mind everyday (everymorning I feel as if a demond is haunting me throughout the day) But yeah one thing the doctor did say (before I started heavily lookin up more symptoms of anxiety like depersonalization) was exercize for the past week Ive been in 24 hour fitness everyday 4 hours playing basketball (helps get my mind off things VERY SHORTLY THO) swiming, and working out. Hopefully and I pray to the lord it is only the marijuana withdrawal and in a month ill be fine. More tid bits to help people that want to help me I work 630 am so I wake up at 6 am Im 19 so obviously my sleep rotation isnt great so im working on that as well I plan on going to bed at 10 on work days from now on instead of the usual 12 or 1 (for the past 7 months) If anyone can help, positive feed back, staright forward feedback anything please I came down to the last straw marijuana is my enemy as bad as I never wanted to believe it.. it is I feel as if I concor this I seriously can concor the world. Please respond Sincerily Someone in dear need of help
its been day 19-21 (im not sure if I quit on the 3rd or the 5th) But I see some light at the end of the tunnel from other posts
I even have a good conversation about what I feel with my friends they say they feel the anxiety but not the whole "dreamy" state of mind but I think they want to quit but at the same time dont want to (like I was not too long ago) if they dont I still love them, if they do Ill still love em
but Im feeling a little better not anxiety every second more like every other second (for those who suffer from depersonlization that is a good feeling regardless of what you think) but yeah, I think its just a matter of time before im okay lol look at me here talking to myself because I have no other hope, but maybe someones out there reading this to care enough
one person put a good point in a bulletin I read
your body is just getting back to a sober happiness and fighting how many years/months/ etc youve been doing weed
like I said from 14 to now, ive done it
not consistantly but all in all at least 3 years all together straight
I actually only tried pot once about a month ago, but i had a massive panic attack all of a sudden day before yesterday and i've been feeling this sensation of everything being a little unreal ever since...
I also had very irregular sleeping and i've been rectifying that as well as eating healthy and hoping this will improve... I don't want to take any meds yet, i'm just hoping this will go away..
Atleast we know we're not alone in this and people has recovered from this. I hope people also post feedback if they get rid of this and how they do it because all i see here are posts about people going through derealization but seldom after they've gotten through it and what helps them.
Best of luck
I tried writing out my specific story but soon realized that I wasn't writing it for you but for myself instead. It was a good idea to get you parents involved because you need them. Also, you might want to see a therapist. I found that just the experience of telling my situation to someone who wasn't emotionally attached did wonders. Art is another great source of comfort. Use it as a creative outlet.
From my experience, it seems as though your redefining your experience with god. Don't declare yourself to a specific religion. Create your own. Look into the concept of extra-dimensions and infinity. I am not saying that you should dismiss all of the teachings of organized religions, but use them as resource for you own ideas on what existence is. The simple ideas of karma, yin and yang, and finding a balance are powerful.
My final tidbit of help is my current philosophy of life. My body is merely a tool for me to explore myself, which is infinity. Everything god and god is everything.
You have control over how you perceive existence; however, you don't have control over existence. Even if the world was coming to an end you still have choices to make up until that moment. Make choices that reflect your values. Let other people into your life on a personal level.
Dmx-slippin "To live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in the suffering."
I have been smoking marijuana for awhile because I escape from reality.
I spoke to a doctor and he told me that my mind needs to cope with reality.
I told him I abused it. I smoked weed any day any time. I was so into the roots music and weed. I loved it so much. I never thought weed could turn on me. It did! On my Birthday I smoked a sh*t load and yeah It felt nuts cuz I was loving the high. I had to leave because I couldn't breathe.
I was pouring water all over myself saying "take me to the hospital!!!!"
I was okay but after that incident I stopped! I cold sweat, I feel like I need someone around me to feel safe. I am fighting it too!
I loved weed.
It's like loosing a best friend.
I quit weed and cigarettes!
I am clean.
almost 2 months.
Your still withdrawing and recognize it when your having the attack.
MIND OVER MATTER.
Your mind is trying to play f*****g tricks with you.
Nip it now or 10 years from now your going to have it still.
:-) keep busy! eat healthy!!!!!!
And God Is waking you up.
he woke me up.
I was trying to be a Rasta but I believe that he is telling me to stay Christian. (NO AFENSE TO RASTAFARI) I LOVE THEIR MUSIC!
I get tempted still but I appreciate life more so now.
Too much of anything is bad for you.
remember there can never be too much of God.
Hope you can hang in there.
YOUR WILL GAIN A STRONG HEART!
it sucks because i blaaazed EVERYDAY ! & to be honest i loved it, theres nothing that compares to being high.
ii was ALWAYS down to blaaze . .it was like my life
. . .until ONE DAAAAY! me& my brother were smoking' a blunt & i toook ONE hit& i was GONE . . all of a sudden i was dreaming& couldn't think straighttt . . .i remember i wanted that feeling to go aaaaaway SO BAD.
i woke up@ like 3 in the morningg . . & didnt really remember anything.
for about a week . . nothing seeemed REAL @ all . . it was like a NIGHTMARE thaat i couldnt wake uo from, & i had to like sleep right nexttt to my mom to feel safe . . i couldnt sleep for more than 2 hours! & i would cry out of nowhere . . then after that week things went back to normal . . .
THEN! like 2 weeks after thaat . . i went through severe depression . . . & suffered frum Anxiety Disorder.
to think ALLLL of that happened frum ONE HIT!
as much as i wish that never happened. Im grateful. .
NOW, im thankful for my life& happiness . . i STILL miss weed .
but NONE of that is worth it . . not at all . .
Jussss letting you guys know..
YOU [WILL] GET THROUGH ITTTTTTT !
trustttt me! if people you hang around have NEVER went through this. .
they prolly WONT believe you . . they think your craazy or something. .
BUT YOUR NOTT ! (:
I too have been a heavy smoker. I started in 7th grade and have smoked everyday prettymuch with an exception of a month i quit during senior year (my parents were going to drug test me) Ultimatly I found a way around every obstacle thrown in front of me just to smoke. It is more than the drug it is the act of smoking that is so desireable. I have never quite experienced this "tripping" feeling from weed. only from shrooms and salvia. However it does affect your lifestyle however if you can keep it a "controlled substance" and actually use it for the medical purposes that it can be intended for it can be a great help. I am currently still in the state of mind to where I would want to smoke all day every day. (I am not kidding when i say this. I wake up smoke, before school, smoke after class, smoke before lunch... etc) However you do not actually need it to enjoy yourself. In the future i plan on only being a night user or the occasional blunt at a party and whatnot. Currently I am going to take this semester off smoking. My first real break since I got into this stuff. I feel your pain and your worries because I have been through the same thing. Marijuana is what you want to make it. If you think you are going to trip you more than likely will trip. Just take a long enough break where you can clear your mind and find a comfort level with yourself. No matter how hard it is you need to discover who YOU are before you can go taking mind altering substances. No matter how happy it makes you and how easy it is to forget all of your problems. I have been through it all. And even after these past few days I still think about all the things I missed out on or just straight up forgot due to excessive smoking. It is not addictive until you become addicted to the feeling yourself. Take a step back and evaluate who you really are then pick up smoking at a leisurly pace and make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. I hope this will help all and any that may read it.
Stay strong. Stay High.
420 strong and steady
Mary Jane the one and only true love
I will be 31 in may and after much MUCH deliberation I have decided to stop. I didn't just wake up and decided that it was time to quit it was brought on by some other factors as well. I began to notice some changes in my thought some 6 to 7 months ago i would engage in bouts of self talk and egocentric thoughtforms. I would imagine that I was in a relationship and then imagine that i caught her cheating and before i know it I would say something like: you f*****g w**** your both dead. Mind you I'm single (and right now its probably a good thing) at first i became highly concerned and wondered if i was having symptoms of mania or a psychotic break, I now longer had Jodie (my best friend) around anymore and i never bothered to replace him (pot had done that) so i kept it to myself. I am currently smoke a half j on the way to work and the other half on the way home and then a large portion of a joint as a night cap. so about a quarter and a half a week. So the self talk and anger streaks have still been going on and now its spread to cops as well or anyone that wants to control any aspect of my life so much so that i wrote a manifesto describing a new law that abolishes all laws and simply states: Harm No One, Control No One, unless they try to harm or control you. I don't no what this train of thought implies Psychologically but i do know that when I smoke for about a 20 to 40 minute period I will obsess over all of those thoughts. So in an effort to self diagnose i have decided to stop for about a month and see if it persist or not if it does persist then its time to get some counselling and if it don't then ... well you know. Pray for me everybody even if you don't please just make an exceptions and just rattle a quick one off. I Love God and I want to be a good son.