ok Officially day 12. f**k it, nobody is reading so I'm doing this for me. Couldn't sleep last night. IDK WTF people are talking about when they say take Benadryl,Unisom (diphenhydramine HCL) to sleep ... It makes me sleepy as all hell but makes the RLS and "picking up change at a Hardcore show" feeling in the arms about 10x worse. So you'll be so tired, exhausted, sapped, but can you sleep? f**k NO. I finally, at around 530am took 3 diphens and 3 Tylenol and somehow slept from 630am til 1 pm. And it was REAL sleep. If you're like me, I'd suggest just staying awake all night if need be, and downing some of those diphens at the asscrack of dawn when your brain is ready to bail out of consciousness anyway. If you stay up too long you WILL hallucinate. I've experienced this countless times and usually its bad hallucinations. Like fucken shadow people and sh*t, things you don't want/aren't meant to see. I'm lucky, I don't have to work right now but I have a 4 yr old ... A very rambunctious 4 yr old. For anyone out there in my shoes, doing this with kids, props to you. Doing this alone is the best way IMO. When animals are hurt they go off by themselves to either heal or die. Being alone can be therapeutic in itself. But you get so many out of whack, coming and going, opposing polarity fucken emotions its hard to say how you'll feel from one moment to the next. I'm also living in daily fear of headaches. I had one fucken skull splitter my 2nd or 3rd day in, but thankfully it faded away after 10 minutes of huddling in some hot water. I don't think I could live with that on a regular basis, I don't think I could live with it for another 10 fucken minutes. Last major kick off Mdone (about 6 months before this more recent 1 1/2 yr escapade) I had vise-grip-like headaches every day, all day but I could function. I had those headaches for MONTHS. I'm terrified of this happening again because nothing makes it better but, that's right, more painkillers. Anyone else have this experience? Not just a shitty headache here and there, Headache Hell 24/7 for months after getting clean. It makes you want to have a shotgun facial. Also I'm curious about water fasting or juice fasting. Anyone tried this during detox? And for anyone who's just kicking gear or codeine, don't even bother, mdone wd will drag you by the scruff of your neck for weeks, not just oh day 5 I'm over the hard part, more like day 35 I feel slightly less like death. Just try to mind-over-matter this sh*t. It can help a little. Here I am on day 12 of a pretty high dose detox and I can get up, choke down vitamins, choke down a bite or two, choke down water and even do housework. I force myself to do my makeup and hair. Don't go around looking as shitty as you feel, it doesn't help. well I guess I'm done ranting to myself if anyone has anything to say I'll be around, that is till I eventually feel normal and want to forget all about this.
going to listen to the soothing sounds of Erra now. And pardon my filthy language I can't turn it off,.