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This problem has become a difficult stressor for me as of late. I find myself on the recieving end of married women who feel neglected or turned away by their husband or significant other. Morally it's wrong on both sides and I do know this, but I feel like all I want to do is give these women the pleasure they deserve. I am 20 and am more than capable to pursue relationships with any girl my age (Unintended to be a hotshot comment, but very true) but why is it so much more exciting with the 30 year range? The problem is that it's beginning to tear me apart because I am partially responsible for breaking these engagments/marriages off and left to pick up the pieces! Please someone lay it to me straight

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Well, this is arm chair psychology, but here's a few thoughts:

You're selecting women who are safe.
That is, you know that these women are involved with someone else, so there's very little chance that they will want to make an attachment with you.
So, low risk involvement.

Second, they're emotionally wounded and vulnerable. So their defenses are down and a good male friend looks good to them.

Third, you've done this more than once, and it has resulted in a reward for you, so you've conditioned yourself to expect pleasant results from these situations.

Fourth, the 30 year old woman is more mature and experienced than the 20 year old girl. Plus, as a 20 year old stud, you represent confirmation to these women that they are still desirable and attractive.

Fifth, you've learned how to be a compassionate listener and make these women feel comfortable. While that's not a problem in itself, it does make you more attractive to them.

Think about how you signal to these women that you're interested and available to them. What signals are you putting out? Why do they feel you would be a good person to settle down (for sex or a good cry) with?

This might help shed some light on it for you.

Good luck.
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Who says it's morally wrong? If a spouse isn't keeping up his or her end of the bargain sexually, I think their partner has every right to pursue sexual liaisons outside of their marriage. What's morally wrong is to suggest that someone's sex life is over the minute their partner loses interest, or that it would be acceptable to coerce or demand sex from an unwilling partner. Given the alternatives, I think extramarital sex is the only morally acceptable option.







Oh, BS. That is not all you want to do. You want to get laid, and you want to get laid by someone who feeds your ego and takes you places you've never been. We always want our partners to have a good time too, but if you were really doing this as some kind of favor, and find no intrinsic pleasure in it, you would have a real problem. As I said before, there's nothing to feel guilty about. Just be honest with yourself about your motives.
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This is a great topic. I find that there are married women who get used to a certain level of attention. When that fades, they seek it. I knew this girl...let's call her Lainie.....before she got married she was with scores of people. Having lived in chicago for quite a while, I would bump into her with some frequency. Each time I saw her she would be more intoxicated then the time before. Eventually, she started sneaking around. Hooking up with almost anybody and then pretending nothing happened or using alcohol as an excuse. Its pretty easy to spot when you tune yourself in.
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How are you responsible for breaking up these relationships? The women wanted you. That's not your fault. Being married is lonely and you should be happy you can give these women what they need and lack at home. Are you just having sex with married/engaged women or starting relationships with them? Can you have one without the other?
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