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ok, so i am 18, male, and pretty healthy, with a slight insecurity with my weight, people seem to find me attractive but i dont really consider myself to be good looking. i have had sex with about 9 girls and 3 guys and i dont not enjoy it, but i am not that interested in it, with either gender even though i am attracted to both men and women, i find it weird and i'd rather masturbate. i love the intimacy, being naked together and cuddling, hanging out and talking, playing around, and the relationship aspect with the people i have slept with, but i think sex itself is really overrated and its really starting to effect my relationships. i started experimenting with my sexuality because i thought there was a problem with the gender i was sleeping with and i have always thought men were beautiful.

giving a brief sexual history, i stated seeing this girl when i was 14 we broke up after about 2 weeks of seeing each-other and the weekend we broke up, we had sex and i lost my virginity, she was 2 years older than me and slept with heaps of dudes and had a bit of a reputation, so we only had sex about 4 times and then we just stopped talking, i spent the next 2 years just making out with girls and would receive the occasional blow job if i was lucky or would go down on girls and it was fun, but i treated it as more of a numbers game. i then started having sex with girls more often when i was around 16, i had 2 girlfriends that year and both were good looking girls, the relationships lasted about 4 weeks but i had known them for allot longer than that, but it would hit a point where i just loose interest, i then started going out and meeting girls in clubs and had my first one night stand, again i think i just wanted to tell my friends. so by the time i was 17 i had been with quite a few girls and was then in my final year of school cause i was a year younger then the rest of my grade. that year i hooked up with a boy for the first time, and i felt the excitement that i had felt the first time i kissed a girl. soon after that i got in a relationship with a man (if you can call it a relationship, i saw him 3 times) and we had sex on our third date. and after we had sex i stopped talking to him, again i dont know why. i had about another 3 girlfriends and each relationship lasted on average 2 months. so before i had turned 18 i had 2 more one night stands 1 with a boy and 1 with a girl. before my 18th birthday i had told my family and friends i was bi-sexual and by the time my 18th birthday was around i had almost finished my first semester at uni, where i made new friends, about 4 of the girls i had met that first semester tried to sleep with me but i just wasn't interested, and then found a girl that i fell in love with but i was struggling to kindle my bedroom flames, so we dated for about 6 months and she was fantastic until she broke up with me, exactly 3 days after we broke up i stated seeing that another girl but i found her annoying and i was just completely not interested in her at all, bit all she wanted was to have sex and that was the last thing that i wanted, about 2 weeks ago i met this guy at a gay club and after going back to his house we had sex and spent about 4 hours in his bed just fooling around, i saw him about 2 days later and i was completely put off by the idea of having sex, and had to lie about not being bi, and just wanting to "try it out" sort of thing so that i could get out of his place and go home instead of sleeping with him. so right now i dont know where my life is heading, i have tried having sex both with men and women and i dont really like either, i just would rather have a good friend then a girlfriend or boyfriend.

I dont crave sex so i think there was a problem with me. i love getting attention and thats why i think i just have been going from relationship to relationship, having sex with people, just so that i can spend as little time by myself as possible. WHATS WRONG WITH ME, WHY AM I LIKE THIS.

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First I just want to say be careful and always use protection. On the other hand you need to decide which would you really want to be with male or female. It's ok to be bi but you should like one more than the other. Like I consider myself straight, but I've had sex with a couple of women, I'm turned on by women at times, but I prefer a man. Now, I just think you haven't found the right one. At a point in my life I rather masterbated than to have sex with someone even though I did. It was just that it was not spontaneous because I basically had no strong connection with the person. Maybe you just get bored easily which is normal, you just have to find something to keep you more interested. Maybe involve sex toys, play sex games, or include more fore play. I suggest you get yourself together first and figure out which sexual preference you prefer and then find someone you can see yourself being with long-term. Then, worry about the sex part because sex isn't anything and right now I rather pop in some porn and masterbate because I can't get myself pregnant or catch an std. I hope I was helpful. Remember to protect yourself first and be happy.
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I agree since you are experimenting too much trying to find which erogenous zones for men are the best for you. I also do believe that you should try something else - like watching porn or just try to masturbate alone, without including anyone. Since you have been experimenting that much, it is not excluded that you have lost your will for intercourse and that is why you can't have an orgasm. But going around and sleep with everything that is there in front of you, can be a huge problem. Maybe you are expecting too much from having a sex with several people. Maybe you are not relaxed. Maybe you really should seek help because this also can be a physical problem. 

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Why do you say that you should prefer one sex more than the other and why do you need to make that decision? I don't understand why you should have to make a decision on something like that. Can you explain?
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What you have described almost sounds like Asexuality. It means you have no desire for sex. Sometimes it is referred to as nonsexual, because you have no sexual desire towards men or women, even if you are attracted to them. Although asexuality is rare, there are others who suffer the emotional aspects of this (what's wrong me? type emotional issues). There are groups for it, and most times, finding another asexual person is the best route to go for finding companionship/relationship without sex.

Here are a few sites to help you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality Wikipedia page about Asexuality

This site will probably help you the most. It is dedicated to the Asexual community.

an article about Asexuality

A group for the Asexual community

A forum for Asexuals.

I hope I the information in the links helps you out.


And Keke209, it is unfair of you to ask for this person to "decide which would you really want to be with male or female." I for one am bisexual. I do not like males or females more than the other. I like women for certain reasons, and men for entirely different reasons. I cannot decide which of the two I prefer because of I don't like the same qualities in a man as I do a woman and vice versa. I love a person for the person, not because of what they do or don't have between their legs. Some bisexuals do have a preference for one over the other, but not all. He doesn't need to decide or prefer one over the other.

***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed
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kinda sounds like me when I 'came out' at 20yo...and I fought against ANY relationship...I went from one to another, sometimes 2 in one night

when I met the man who I spent most of my life with, I fought against getting 'smothered' emotionally, but eventually settled down and in with this person, despite my attraction to both sexes

I t could ALSo be u havent met the right person
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you don't have to make a decision :) everyone's sexuality is different, some people prefer one over the other, some people like both male and female the same and some people like me can find people attractive regardless of gender. To me it sounds like you might be asexual but you will figure things out in the mean time. Nothing is wrong with you and you don't have to make any decisions that you aren't comfortable with :)
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Ever thought of scanning your blood for kleinfelter? I have it and sex feels booring because of low levels of testesterone. It can be treated and i advice u to see a doctor
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