Snappy Comebacks For Harassed Nursing Moms

You may well have the legal right to breastfeed in public in your jurisdiction and still face harassment on occasion. Not every person you'll deal with will be aware of the laws regarding breastfeeding, and some will never have seen a nursing mother before.

I remember being asked to go nurse in the toilet when I was breastfeeding my newborn daughter in a cafe while sipping a fresh orange juice and reading the newspaper. It was a hot summer, and many customers were wearing a whole lot less than I was, and showing much more of their breasts. I was shocked. Mothers who frequently nurse in public are bound to have a similar encounter at least once, but how do you respond when that happens?

Believe it or not, this type of assertive comeback can be more effective and cause fewer trouble than simply informing the person asking you to go to the bathroom of the local laws. You could try that, too, though: “The [name of relevant law] states that [mothers have the right to breastfeed their children at any location where they are otherwise permitted to be”, or whatever the specific wording of your local law is.

You may be asked to leave, cover up, or go to a bathroom or other private location. A simple answer to any such request or demand can also be: “No thank you.” You could also ask whether the asker prefers quiet breastfeeding or a crying, hungry baby. Crying is much more irritating than nursing.

If you are an unofficial member of what some call the “breastfeeding mafia”, you could also attempt to educate the asker about breastfeeding. Ask if bottle-feeding moms would receive the same request and if not — why? Reminding the person asking you to go nurse your baby elsewhere that breastfeeding has numerous health benefits could even do society as a whole a favor by normalizing breastfeeding in such a public manner. If you're speaking up now, you may save another mom from having to do the same later on!

Or, point to someone who looks less modest than you do and ask if she also has to leave/cover up/ go to the bathroom. If you aren't showing much breast or are actually using a nursing cover or blanket, point out that nobody can see anything but that it would be fine even if they could.

My absolute favorite? “If my breastfeeding bothers you, feel free to place a nursing cover on your head, or why don't you go to the bathroom?”