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Think your preschooler wouldn't help a stranger look or a "lost puppy"? Think your college-age child wouldn't get into a stranger's car and allow that person to duct-tape their hands together? Think again!

Teach The Lures

Ken Wooden is so convinced that the answer lies in teaching children — and anyone, for that matter — what lures predators employ to get people to come with them, that he has made this his life's work. If you want to want your kids to be in on the manipulations criminals use, you can do so very easily. Head over to YouTube and search for "child lures" and "luring demonstration", or simply "Ken Wooden", and a whole new world will open up to you and your children. 

If you want to go a step further, you can order his child safety curriculum from his company, Child Lures Protection. The lessons taught in these booklets are presented in a clear and concise manner, and they teach kids about bodily autonomy and the prevention of sexual abuse, as well as how to stay safe online, alongside information about lures used by strangers.

Having done both with my kids, I can assure you that offering these valuable lessons in personal safety don't scare your kids, but leave them feeling empowered. 

Teach Your Kids To Rely On Their Intuition

"Intuition" is a word that has earned somewhat of a bad reputation. Interestingly enough, it comes from the Latin root that means "to guard", and that's exactly what it does. Intuition, in essence, is nothing more than the cognitive process our brains rely on when there isn't time to make a logic-based decision. 

By role playing the scenarios in Ken Wooden's videos over and over again, and discussing the materials used in his curriculum, you can help your kids' internal protective mechanisms recognize those signs of danger, and make saying "no" and backing off a natural response — whether your kid is a kid, or a college student. 

Another powerful way in which you can teach your children that their gut feelings matter is by asking them, regularly, how certain situations — both in daily life and in the media — made them feel, as well as sharing when someone creeps you out. Tell them, explicitly, that paying attention to their intuition isn't stupid, but can be life-saving.

What's sillier? Seeking refuge inside a store when someone on the street gives you goose bumps, waiting for the next elevator because the man already inside makes you frightened, telling your friends you'd rather not head out for that party with those people you don't really like, or... ignoring those very possibly justified instincts and doing things you know you shouldn't?

From a young age, you can also teach your children that their bodies are theirs and theirs alone. Ask yourself what signal you are really sending when you are telling your child to engage in a conversation with someone they don't like, or when you are asking them to give grandma a hug when they don't want to.

Oh, you're teaching them that politeness is more important than honoring your own feelings? Bad news! It isn't politeness that will keep your child safe when that driver pulls up and asks them to get in their car to show them where the nearest McDonald's is, after all.

Teach Your Kids How To Respond

For more comprehensive advice, I direct you to Gavin De Becker and Ken Wooden. Meanwhile, these tips can be useful:

  • When a stranger is following you, head into a public place, like a store, and ask for help. 
  • When a car pulls up and the driver asks you a question, take three giant steps back, scream, and run. 
  • Remember: adults in need would ask other adults for help, not children. 
  • If someone makes you feel scared or apprehensive, staying safe, and getting away, is more important than being polite. 
  • When an adult tries to kidnap you, rather than just screaming, "this person is not my mom/dad — call 911" is among the things you should be yelling. If you don't do this, people may assume you are merely throwing a temper tantrum. 
  • Kicking, biting, aiming for someone's testicles, sticking pencils up their eyes — when someone tries to kidnap you, whatever need to do is completely justified. 

And of course, don't let people duct-tape your hands together just because you want to be on TV. Checking someone's ID and calling their superior to verify who they are is fine, even if that person claims to be a law enforcement officer. Just don't do it while sitting in their car!

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