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Beyond The ODD Diagnosis

by — Last updated: 2022-02-08 in Children's & Teens Health

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Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder are not simply hard to parent — their hostility, revenge-seeking and blame-shifting goes well beyond what's typical. Olivia talks to the mom of a child with ODD and explores what this disorder is really like.

Ellie's son was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder in high school. By the time he received the label, he already had a long and impressive career of trouble behind him in every sphere of life. His mom knew something wasn't right and attempted to seek help without much of a result many times, and the school simply described him as a problem child — who was probably being parented badly.

Ellie and her kids live in Europe, and the diagnosis eventually came from a developmental psychologist at her son's high school. The delay was due, in part, to the fact that Ellie's country requires a minimum of two people to come to the same diagnostic conclusion, and nobody paid much attention to her plight.

Read More: What Does Anger Do To You?

What can you do if you have a child who displays symptoms that you believe point to Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Many parents of children with mental disorders and learning difficulties share a similar experience, that of not “being heard” when they seek help. As parents, you get the most complete picture of your child's behavior. I suggest keeping a journal detailing the child's behavior, and filming him in action if at all possible.

Then, keep on knocking on the appropriate doors until you're heard. These doors will vary from country to country, but your local school district or family doctor are both obvious starting points.

Ellie feels that she didn't receive the help she needed with her son even after the ODD diagnosis — the respite care she was offered gave her a break, but not the necessary skills to make her a more successful parent. Yet such assistance is crucial for the sanity of parents and siblings of ODD children, as well as the rest of the community. Help is available in several forms on well-organized jurisdictions, and a treatment plan for Oppositional Defiant Disorder often consists of:

  • Social skills and problem-solving training for the child. If successful, this can help the child learn to behave in an acceptable manner and deal with sudden life changes better.

  • Ongoing therapy for the child.

  • Parent-child interaction therapy and parent therapy. This aims to preserve the parents' sanity and help them parent their child in a way that is less frustrating for all parties.

Medications can also offer some relief, particularly in cases where the child has dual or multiple diagnoses, such as ADHD as well as ODD.

So, how do you parent a child who has ODD? In parent therapy for parents with ODD kids, there is a strong focus on practical tips.

Children with ODD have a strong need for clear boundaries and a rigid routine. Power struggles that could stir the child's natural tendency to be oppositional and to seek revenge need to be avoided as much as possible. Strong, consistent discipline is necessary, and parents should be especially careful to choose consequences that can always be enforced — but beware, pick consequences that are temporary in nature, so the child can be rewarded for good behavior as well.

Above all, it is important to realize that parenting a child with ODD is simply hard. Nothing is going to take that fact away. Parents who realize that they are facing immense challenges may feel like less of a failure, thereby also giving them the strength to continue.