I have a 13 year old daughter and a huge problem with her point of view regarding sex or I am exaggerating this all. The fact is she is an ok kid but has this school 13 year old friend that started having sex. I am terrified and the last thing I wanted is that my daughter starts acting this way I could not even imagine it. I don't know do I have to worry for it is not like I am not talking to my daughter it is the possible influence of her friend I am afraid of. So what should I do to convince her that it is not good having sex when you are 13 year old?
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She seems to be pretty open with you, if she was the one that told you that are friend at school is having sex. Netty's ideas are great.
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Constant control and frequent talk and explanation of all the possible side effects of premature sex such as 13 year old sex is of big help though we all know we can't control our kids all the time. I think that sexual education is of big importance here. I talked to my daughter constantly and she new from the age of 11 or so that it is not advisable having sex when you are so young and I am sure if you have frequent tranquil and health conversation regarding this issues than there are the best chances for your kid not to make the same mistake. So find the way to explain to her why this is not good but in the same time don't make her being afraid of sex one day in the future.
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netty's idea is good but you don't want to make her ignorant of you pestering her so badly that she does it anyway or..... just tell her all the guys at school will think she is a loose w**** once the rumours spread
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I have the same problem. It is good she can tell me-although I felt like I was being advised of her intentions about having sex at 13. She wasn't requesting my opinion. I remember when I was her age. I didn't know about sex and I didn't want to get germs from kissing. But at the end of the day you make your own mind but I always had my parents words of advice in the back of my mind. Even if I didn't use it and regretted it and had to learn the hard way etc.
After a few hard lessons, we learn that our parents are right some of the time. But its which lessons will they give themselves. I told my daughter that whatever she does "when in doubt-get out" and "whatever your decision-make sure it wont affect the rest of your life" (if its risky that is, good grades would be ok).
Directly about sex, I told her that "guys, once they try sex, they want to try it with everyone-its not personal, girls they think they are tough, don't care, wont get a broken heart, but nature will wave its magic wand and you will attach (full in love), whether you like who he is or not (like a mum does to their child), and then you are stuffed". Further, "It will take you years to get over, despite the fact that he may be a prick, because you are too young to have that much power over your feelings". She still insists she doesn't care, she hasn't decided who yet anyway, and she will make sure she doesn't get a broken heart.
So, outcome is be there for them, keep them safe, keep them close and ACCEPT you are playing a smaller role in their decision making. I was a hard learner, sadly, she probably will be too.
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