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Im having a problem with my six year old daughter constantly masterbating(or something that looks exactly like it) several times a day. She knows that it is something that is supposed to be done in private if she is curious, but she has been doing it so frequently that she has been caught in school, caught many many times at home on the couch, floor, etc. I dont know if there is a greater underlying problem, but I have an 18 month old daughter, and do not want her to see this behavior, or start copying her. Its completely out of control and we are not sure about the right approach on this, please help.

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My best suggestion is to sit her down and talk with her. She may be only six but she is obviously aware that she can stimulate herself. I would suggest only you, the mother talk with her about this and let her know that it is something to be done in the privacy of her bedroom. Try to be as gentle with the subject as you can and let her know why it is wrong to do in public and at school.
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This is something that needs to be taking care of now. Let her no that she shouldn't be doing that. When she get old enough to actually let some one else do it thats going to be a serious problem on you. If she is that curious now what do you think she is going to be like in the future. SEEK HELP.
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yea i used to do it when i was about 7
no biggie
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When I was her age...well...younger really I use to masturbate in public too. I, actually, use to masturbate in my grandmother's bed with her next to me! Looking back on it I shudder in embarassment and disgust but yeah. I'd suggest talking to her about it. No one talked about it to me. They just said 'why do you do that' and I would say 'because it feels good'. But whatever. I stopped at 7 or 8.
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I, too, masturbated young as a child. My aunt caught me one afternoon around the age of 8, and shamed me about "rubbing myself". To this day, I wish that she had taken a different approach.

I think that it is completely wise to talk with you daughter and ask that she seek the privacy of her bedroom when she feels the urge to masturbate. Often, I remember being stimulated by images on the TV, and impulsively just going for clitoral stimulation. But, had I an option...and understanding, I would have judged myself less and been free to do as I chose. It was much worse having to sneak around, and feel completely odd when I wanted to masturbate.

You seem kind and understanding. Without judgment, approach you daughter and explain that its OK but is something she can keep to herself b/c other people might not feel the same or understand her.

Best! Write back with some update!
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I used to do this aswell at a young age as 5-8, i dont know why exactly but i think because one time my parents thought i was in bed and they were watching naughty videos or because my parents had a sex education tape for when i got older and i watched it too young and it had cartoons of naked people and i found it enjoyable (i didnt know why) anyway, my mum would catch me doing it and she would be like "are you right there?" and i said "yes im fine" and kept going, im embarressed also when i look back but i realised that it wasnt "normal" to do it because my mum would get a shock when i was doing it and question me, so i started doing it in private.

There was also a time i did it at school i would hide under the school desk and do it (i was too young to understand what i was doing really) and some other kids came under to see what i was doing, and so the school called my parents (was very embarressing for the school because it was a christian school so they saw it as something wrong and well masturbation is wrong according to some christians) so my parents got told to deal with it, they just explained to me that its not something to do at school and it upsets other people when you do it around them.

I eventually grew out of the whole doing it in public and stopped doing it for a few months, but i couldnt help myself and started again but in privacy in my room at night.

I still do it today and i dont think this is abnormal, i look back on it and see it as something that alot of kids do, for example:

Children suck their thumbs for enjoyment, and they do somewhat 'get off' on it, mainly because they miss the stimulation of the breast but also because they enjoy sucking it.

Some children 'get off' on pissing because it feels good and everytime they piss they get some type of 'orgasmic' feeling, they dont know this at the time, but ive heard when they get older they remember that orgasmic feeling as a child doing some action and realise thats what it was.

Some children rub around the pee hole at a young age when they masturbate because they 'got off' on peeing and so they think that helps aswell and to a child the pee hole is sensitive so they enjoy stimulating it.

I wouldnt say this is wrong because it does happen and i think its just a natural occurance that cant really be stopped.
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I read in a psychology book that kids even as young as 1 can stimulate themselves. Its not not neccesarily a sexual thing, they just know it is something that feels good.
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I'm 16 and when i was little i did it as well. it's just a phase she's going through. but it's always good to sit her down and talk to her about it, and how it's not right to do it. If that doesn't work...you could always scare her into submission...that's what my g-pa did to my bro. every time he started, my grandfather would take out a pair of safety scissors and go "snip-snip". that made him stop.

come-up w/ something....creative. ^^
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It is completely normal for girls to start "masturbating" at early ages, most start when they are around 7 to 12 years of age and it is a completely natural behavior. "Scaring" her out of this behavior could lead to future repressive disorders and a mixed up view on sexuality which, according to Freud, have led to varying cases of neurosis in the past. Because "masturbating" is not widely accepted by society, I would recommend you telling her that while there is nothing wrong with what she's doing, it is not "ok" for her to do it in public or in front of other people.
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Well I completely dissagree with the person that said she shouldnt masterbate and tell her it is wrong, that is wrong in its self.
but you should be very gentle and tell her to only do it in privacy and not in public ever. be gentle, she will remember the moment you sit down with her and talk with her about it for the rest of her life, I know I remember the day my dad talked with me about it.(Im male) I was about 7. Im now 17.
Also be sure to tell her to always wash her hands before and after, and tell her not to do it to much.
I assure you her masterbating will not lead to her getting raped later on...like wtf...As for getting pregnent that is something to worry about later, just dont leave her alone with any boys at this age, she doesnt know any better than to do what desire tells her to at this age.
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the kid is curious

just because she knows how to stimulate herself does NOT mean that she is going to be super sexually active in the future. i did the same as a kid, and i stayed a virgin until i found someone i truely cared about and dated for a long time.



her actions does not depict how she will be in the future, as long as she is raised in a good environment she should be good.
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this is very unlikely, but it could be that she is actually touching the area because it is constantly sending messages to her via the nerves. If she had a straddle fall as a child, she could have damaged her pudendal nerve. I know from experience. I had a straddle fall as a child, and around 8-9 my mom said I used to lean my clitoris into pieces of furniture which was very embarrassing to her. As an adult, I found I had pelvic pain and finally had surgery in France to solve this very rare condition and they found damage to my ligaments around the nerve which stemmed to my childhood. The pudendal nerve is the sex nerve. If it's irritated, you want to rub it to make that feeling go away. So... if she has pain later on using tampons or having sex when older, keep this in mind.
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Seriously? No one has brought up the issue of sexual abuse here? That might be a good thing to talk to her about. I was molested at 2 years old and while I dont remember the abuse i remember compulsively masturbating openly until about age 7 or maybe even 8. It wasnt for sexual pleasure it was to relieve anxiety more than anything.

I'm not saying that is what it is but it is worth asking her about. If anyone has been touching her, etc.

Sorry. probably not the thing you want to hear, but its worth asking about. Most children dont do it compulsively and openly at that young of an age without a history of sexual abuse.
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It could be she just likes the feeling thats all. My 6 year old has a problem with doing it even in the car. I just tell her to stop doing it. I remember when i was younger my step sister did it everywhere also and she was 7ish i think. When they find it feels good of course they do it. My 1 year old every time i would put her in the walker she would do it. Its pretty common. A lot of little girls are molested though and that can cause this also. My little sister is 25 now and she was caught at school but she was also using a pencil on herself. You should have a talk with her and make sure no body has done something to her. There are so many little girls that have been messed with. It makes me sick. Good luck!
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