I have 3 girls, we share a HIS (14), HERS (18) and OURS (10) - I've raised and been a part of the 14 year old's life since she was born. She calls me mom....she has lived with us since the 4th grade. She visits her mom every 2nd, 4th and 5th weekend if she's not too busy to pick her up. Her mom also has 2 other kids from 2 other fathers. We recently found out that she had sex for 1st time while visiting her mom, she's a freshman, the boy a senior. Then again with another boy while at her mom's visiting, he is a junior that she met while visiting at her mom's. Then she slept with another freshman boy to get back at the senior boy for "assuming" he was with someone else....and rubbed it in the senior's face. I heard some not so nice rumors about her freshman boy experience and took her to the OB 10 days later....we left with an RX for birth control pills. I didn't fill it b/c I was still unsure on whether or not I wanted her to be on it b/c I wasn't aware all of the above to be true until this passed Monday. 3 different boys in a month's time, WHY? She came clean after threatening to press charges on the senior. Sad part is we know the family of the boy and really hate to screw up his life. That is one issue, 2nd issue is the mom - she bought her a pregnancy test while she was visiting and didn't tell us, basically told our daughter that she needs to convince us to put her on birth control or she would spill the beans....when it came down to it, the mom finally came clean to knowing about one boy. "supposedly" - do we allow her to go back over there? we can't trust EITHER of them....her mom wants to be her BFF vs a MOM. 3rd issue, my husband can't look at her nor speak to her.....he's so livid and hurt. so now she is trying to act like nothing happened but she needs to be held accountable....how do we make her be? I'm not comfortable putting c**p in her body like BC but at the same time I don't want to be a 35 year old grandma....I had my daughter when I was 16....I know all too well what road this path leads to....but she doesn't hear me....??? help......
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Hi,
I Am 16 and Young Also.
I kno a couple of my friends lil sisters that do immature stuff like tht.
First: Seperation is never easy on kids, especially girls. My father left me and my sister and mom when i was 11. Still hard to this day. even if she basically grew up with you she knows the truth, you know? So she could be taking advantage of, " Ohh moms trying to be my BFF and step mom and dad arent around to stop me" Cuz i know i did that before and well thankfully i didnt get pregnant. Its just her being rebellous. every teen hits it just some hit it to hard. ESPECIALLY if she is having sex with HighSchoolers, that is NOT GOOD! cuz those guys are just abusers when it comes down to lil "curious" girls. Do Not Put Her On BC, that will give her more WANT to go have sex, i promise. My mom always says its like giving someone car keys to a car but telling them to not go drive the car and leave. The car is there and u have the key to go ahead and do it, why stop? cuz when your about to do something wrong your not going to think of consequences! I am very sorry that this is happening i know its not easy...u and your husband and the mother should sit down and talk to her and not scold but ask her why and then confront the mother about to much LEVERAGE! teens at that age need STERN LESSONS AND RULES, not ohh heres an empty house. High school is very hard now a days. Its either sex, drugs, sex, sex, pregnancy! You seem like a really good stepmom, just pray and i hope for the best for u and ur daughter! She is blessed to have someone care for her like you do. Be there for her no matter what, but TOUGH LOVE always helps too F.Y.I:) Goodluck Ma'am
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Both of you need to understand what it is to be a teenager? Parents who divorce at the drop of a hat, change partners themselves, who are losers in life - think they have 'own' their kids? These dumb souls can't even take a hold of their own lives forget understanding their kids.
For heaven's sake my body and my soul belongs to me and I might do as I please. Parents gave me a birth, but no where around when I need them - so? Let life and surroundings be my experience and let me be ME!! Same hormones which forced you to have sex and have a baby are working on me! I own my body and can take my own lessons in life!
For heaven's sake my body and my soul belongs to me and I might do as I please. Parents gave me a birth, but no where around when I need them - so? Let life and surroundings be my experience and let me be ME!! Same hormones which forced you to have sex and have a baby are working on me! I own my body and can take my own lessons in life!
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i am A teenager fyi. but theres a difference from being an immature typical teen or a mature teen. my parents are divorced to, all of a sudden it happen, i was 10 and i was told on christmas that my father wasnt coming back. yes i rebelled and took many dangerous chances that coulda killed me or got me prego. be ur self thts not wht anyone should ever try to stop u from doing, but being immature is not u. that is no one they just choose the easy way out! also theres a difference from experience and stupidity!!!
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i hope everything is okay.its very important to allow yoru daughter to witness firsthand what can happen:take her to a daycare for volunteer work and leave her.when you ppick her up take her to the movies and reinforce that things would be different if she had a kid.i betcha when she realizes she was almost a mom she should have a different view on random premiscous sex.GOOD LUCK
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I should ground her and bend her over and beat her with a belt a take her electronics away!
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Make her life hell.Ground her.Everytime she does somehing bad 'yell' at her.After grounding her and giving her Hell for having sex...get more strict but don't be a total party pooper.My parents wood ground me if I talked back too much.Basically the adult wins,the child loses.Give her the Boehm control pills...don't want her pregers
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Make sure she understands the concept of protection and contraception and as long as she's not getting pregnant and she isn't a s*** that f**ks every boy in town then I think its fine. She must understand that sex when not in love isn't just a game. It can f**k with u...haha no seriously
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What a s*** ... Throw her out, if she's mature enough to have sex she can find her own place to stay.
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The horse has bolted. You cant do anything. Just teach her to be careful and safe.
She is a teen from a broken home. These things do happen. Hard to accept but the world is not the same. The world is changing fast and we need to learn to accept that such things are reality these days.
Trying to penalise the guy is just not a nice thing to do. What are you going to achieve by doing that. Yes, he may be older. She chose him even though you may argue that she was not of the age of consent. No one cares for those rules and laws anymore. This is raw instinct and will happen irrespective of the law.
Be supportive and be caring. Teach her how to be safe and how to protect herself. She may need to go on the pill. Get her checked out by the local doctor and make sure she has no infections.
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If she is having sex ask her if she's enjoying it. Or doing it because she feels pressured. If she is enjoying it and you take that away from her, she will only have more sex. Trust me. Maybe teach her about masturbation and buy her some toys. Get her birth control and condoms & tell her it's okay to have sex but at home in her room where you know she's safe. I was caught at 13 & started sleeping with my teachers and friends dad's because I knew they would deff keep my secret. But I enjoyed it. A lot.
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Agree. Like I said the horse has bolted. Just be supportive and teach her to be safe.
Quite right. Older guys keep it a secret and are more respectful and caring about the girl. I was 13ish when I lost my virginity to a much much older guy. I loved the attention and his maturity. I loved the sex too. It was intense, very emotional and passionate. He was kind and very caring and made sure I came to no harm. It was a full on sexual relationship and I never felt harmed or taken advantage of.
Quite right. Older guys keep it a secret and are more respectful and caring about the girl. I was 13ish when I lost my virginity to a much much older guy. I loved the attention and his maturity. I loved the sex too. It was intense, very emotional and passionate. He was kind and very caring and made sure I came to no harm. It was a full on sexual relationship and I never felt harmed or taken advantage of.
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We are catholic and when our daughter was 14,she finially made her First Holy Communion in the class of mostly 7 year olds.Just like the little girls,she had to follow the dress code and wear a poofy,short sleeve,top of the knees communion dress and veil with lace anklets and white maryjane shoes and under her dress a white tee shirt with a cloth pin on diaper and plastic pants.She looked cute and little girlish just like the little girls in her class.After her party was over,dad and i took relatives to the airport,so the daughter was home alone.When we got back,we caught the daughter in her room with a 17 year old boy and her communion dress was off and she was on her knees giving the boy oral sex wearing only her veil,tee shirt,diaper and plastic pants! She told us that the boy told her that girls are supposed to sexually satisfy guys so that was what she was doing! As her punishment,we made her wear the diaper and plastic pants for three months after school and to mass on sundays.
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