We then went to a restuarant where I was so nervous that I wasn't able to order food. I was literally having a panic attack while talking with people.
Most of the entire day, and what came to be following months was incredibley hard at most times.
I started having rush of thoughts almost everyday, about everything. Worrying about the smallest things. Things that I loved and enjoyed to do became almost impossible. My brain limited me to the point of not being able to enjoy a single second-every second would feel like hell as if my own mind had turned against me. I saw myself change from an extremley social guy to someone who would get nervous if the name of socializing came up. I went through a period of extreme stress which I couldn't control.
In fact control was and it still is a big problem for me. Normal social situations and friends became incredibley intimitating. I think I lost every ounce of confidence possible and my life just became hell. Depesonalization, stress, anxiety, panic attacks almost everyday- I would think I had any mental illness or disease anybody ever talked about. Reading about schizophrenia meant that I had it, I would literally read a mental illness and my brain would act as if I actually had it.
Just the most uncomfrotable months of my life
I am feeling much better since I last smoked in July but thoughts still limit my day to day life. It is me who brings these thoughts on and gives them the status and the control they take, but at times it seems impossible to control them. In fact controlling them only makes them worst.
I saw a psychologist for a while who diagnosed me with anything from social anxiety to ocd. But I have now realize that it all rests with me. Its me who can change and try to change no matter how hard it is.
Anyways I just wanted to share my story and hear from anybody out there with a similar experience
NEVER EVER DO DRUGS, NO MATTER WEED OR COCAIN THEY WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE
Good luck hope it helps to know you're not alone :-)
I think i know what you are talking about or feeling...
I am not a weed smoker, not anymore. my last time ws about 9 years ago. where i used to be a daily smoker, and i had a bad trip, where i got depressed after that night, i got panic attack, and the 2nd day i felt depressed and it went on for the about 6 months, as i used to get the feeling that i have a heavy cloud in my head, feeling it in my forehead and something pressing at the back of my head...i started getting into the awareness of what my subconsioness do...as is how am i breathing, how am i talking, how am i understanding what i am being told...and all this, and it is really bothering and annoying...and since then i stopped smoking weed...
till about a week ago...i smoked a joint, and all went well, nothing of the sort...i am in a situation now that is very stressfull, and have a lot of problems and unempolyed for the last 6 months practically, as everything seems to go the opposite way in my life...anyway. i smoked weed, i didnt even finish 1 full spliff...but the very 2nd say those ugly feelings, and restlessness, and thoughts and tight cloudy brain came again, something that i dont need now...
i know it is my fault for smoking again, even if it is for once....but could this be a heavy stress i am passing in, or depressions, or weed effect...or all?
these feelings dont take grip of me all the time, but certain times during the day...
i was advised to take xanax (anti depressant), it is helping me sleep...but i am sick and tired of this thing in my head, and this tight feelings...
but as you said, it is all in my head, maybe when my life gets back on track...things will get back to normal...
MY ADVICE...DONT DO DRUGS...DRUGS WILL BREAK YOUR HEART!
I have/had the similar problem. I stopped in 07 after being hospitalized twice. When i first had my panic and anxiety attacks. i think thats what they where (they are different) it got so bad. I also had a psychotic episode while being very high. I wanted to hurt everyone in the room one second then I gained control and ran to the the bathroom. While in there I looked in the mirror and said to myself "get yourself together" Then i said something like "heres the plan" (the plan was to go out and start attacking everyone who was sitting down the chypher) but i didn't say that on purpose to then i started to freak out EVEN MORE. I felt like a turned into a psychopath and couldn't control myself. My friend came to the bathroom to see what was wrong with me and i didn't want to let him him because I thought i would hurt him. I just yelled though the door you i need to get out of here now please take me home. So eventually we all got in the car and he started driving. At that time "lil wayne - Fireman" was a big song so of course that was on.. i started to relax while i listened to the song then for some reason the words of that song started seeming really grim and it sounded like it was the devil talking and telling me something i can really remember right now. So anyway we get out the car and i realize my friends brother brought us to his house.. not mine. Whatever they have halo ill just go downstairs and try to calm down right? WRONG as im making my way to the basement i visualize me grabbing something and just swinging at everyone. I try to ignore it and sit down, i start making funny faces and sounds and all types of sh*t to try to distract myself from these horrible thoughts. All of a sudden I get up slamming my fist into my palms walking towards my brother.. then i snapped out of it and ran upstairs and outside and locked myself out. My brother comes to check on me and i tell him to just call my mom. (16 year old logic) im outside and waiting for my mom cant really remember what went on at this point but my mom came and got me. I get in to the backseat and im sitting next to my baby sister.. now im getting thoughts of hurting her. UNEXCEPTABLE (if giving the chance i would and jumped out that car on to on coming traffic before i put a hand on my pride and joy baby sister). My mom was also sitting next to me and i told her to hold me and dont let me go even if i saying im fine now. So she did .. i blackout a lil bit and awoke a couple second later to my mom saying its ok baby just calm down. No idea what had just happened but my sister was crying and i was being held down so i couldn't look up t make sure i didn't touch her or if she was just scared. we finally get to the hospital and my mood change a lil bit i was kinda calm still on egde though. When i got into a bed i cant remember exactly what i was doing or saying but they needed to sedate me. Here came my other blackout. but right before i blackout remember being really calm and i told my mom I love her. then i was gone, when i came back my mom was sitting next to me with her head down so i was like hey mom whats up..(doped up at this time lol) She asked how i was feeling and i told her good then she told me it took like 7 people to restrain me. (this is something i have no memory of) From there I was since to the hospital (mental hospital) for a week and dealt with panic attack and paranoia since. Its 2012 about to be 2013 and things are getting better but its still a struggle every single day. meds zombie me up and without them i feel like im going to just go insane. Anyway thats my story well atleast the first time. has this happened to anyone else?
Same here, marijuana helps me with almost all my symptoms like no other prescription med.
*****important to note that he said they smoked ALOT of weed he is not familiar with (amsterdam has some of the most potent weed in the world ) after traveling to a new place without eating for hours. You have to understand how drugs are going to affect you in specific situations.(He probably Vaporized as well, since most shops there have a Volcano as a center piece in every table )
I have a Depression, PTSD and GAD... and even though marijuana helps me a lot and allows me to take less of my highly addictive benzos. i still take them because i know thati cant smoke weed in some situations for example: I have to meet with my clients (i'm a designer), or i have to do a site visit. im far too worried that i'll make a mistake or that the clients will smell it on me. So I dont put myself in situations where me being high will do more harm than good.
I hope he gets better but the whole dont do drugs is extreme and makes me less sympathetic to him because he is not taking responsability for the bad choices he made leading up to it instead he is putting all the fault on the drug. To me it sounds like what happen
"you shouldnt do drugs that are harder than you, and you certainly shouldnt do it to excess"
Sorry this happened to you, i hope you get better.
This is not an unusual course of events. I hear this story time and again, in almost exactly the same detail. The individual is positive they have caused damage to themselves even though they are the only one experiencing these symptoms. They often resort to “doctor shopping” and taking medications which do little to resolve the problem. Frustration enters the picture as feelings of depersonalization/derealization often intensify.
There is a simple explanation for this chain of events. Once understood, recovery is not difficult. It requires a simple yet specific process.
Let’s rely on basic science and facts:
(1) Personality– Some individuals are basically more reactive than others. These are the people who are intelligent, creative, analytical and generally more reactive to outside stimuli. They often experience a greater reaction to stimuli where others may not. They may react in a stronger manner to:
– Excessive Sugar
– Temperature Changes
– Bright Light
– Lack of Sleep
– Recreational Drugs
(2) Habit of Fearful Worry– The mind quickly wraps around whatever it is dealing with, to create a sense of closure, whether the facts are true or not. Therefore, if one has recently smoked marijuana and is feeling “strange” or “odd” afterward, the mind, by process of elimination, deduces that some damage must have occurred. Every free moment is spent in self-blame and fearful worry that permanent damage has occurred when nothing could be further from the truth.
(3) Fatigued Mind– The mind quickly becomes exhausted, due to the continuous loop of worried thoughts. A tired mind is far less resilient and naturally the longer this loop continues, the foggier the mind becomes. The person may even lose their appetite, develop insomnia and find it difficult to concentrate or socialize with friends and family. They might even take time off from work, in order to recuperate, when this is completely unnecessary.
Once they understand what this is, what it is not and what to do, they are home free. It is important to note that one is not ill, nor have they ever been, which is why medication is not required. In a reactive individual, medication often may exacerbate the problem. This is merely the product of a tired mind and nothing more. The marijuana may have been the trigger but it is not the only trigger.
Triggers of Depersonalization
– Constant and Lingering Stress
– Certain Medications
– Traumatic Event, Shock
– Unresolved Issues
– Unresolved Anger
– Recreational Drugs
Resolution of Depersonalization Due to Marijuana Use
Resolution of this sensation is not difficult. It is based upon a Two-Fold Approach:
(1) Retrain the Brain- Learning how to refresh the fatigued mind. Thinking more productively. Through behavioral modification one is able to tame a mind that is overactive and unproductive.
(2) Food Therapy– Learning to use the correct foods, one already has in their own kitchen, to work for you rather than against you. Boosting Serotonin levels in the brain naturally and maintaining balanced blood sugar levels in the body to create a far less reactive mind and body. The correct foods will accelerate recovery when used in tandem with the proper behavioral modification techniques.
This two-fold approach is all that is required to overcome feelings of depersonalization, created by marijuana use, or any other trigger. It does not require a long or drawn out process at all. It does require that one follow the specific process, leading to rapid relief and permanent recovery.