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Im going to try and make this as condensed as possible. It feels like I cant even explain the extent of my problem. My whole life I think I've suffered from anxiety, (social) but somehow when I was younger was able to have many friends, have fun, be a bit shy but none the less have a pretty normal life aside from temper tantrums?. I'm a blond,(im told, although sometimes i really don't believe it honestly) attractive girl who I think would have had great potential in this world if it hadn't been for my problem. It became evident in highschool how different I was and I could no longer hide it. I felt isolated, ignored my friends, withdrew...grades dropped. By grade 10 I was skipping out of 80% of my classes. I would still go to school, I just wouldn't go to class, It made me nervous. I had friends, I went out, surprisingly I socialized to a degree. But I wasn't progressing in my life. Its like I was ignoring my self and my needs. I ended up not graduating. I am, ( I think) fairly smart, care about whats going on in the world, like sports, animals, friends...but its like I have this mental block repeating all my same mistakes again but trying so damn hard not to. About two years ago (I'm 22 now) I started on Celexa, because I think I just started realizing how bad I was messing up my life by ignoring how I felt. I had become anorexic and got to the point of breaking down in helplessness with what to do with myself. I was lost. I Had managed to respond well to Celexa and built a great group of friends around me, had an alright job, a car...even a boyfriend. Anyway, those two years have passed and alot has happened in them, most for the good!. I have a pretty normal family life and supportive parents to help me whenever I need it. I met a new guy 7 months ago and I stopped taking Celexa about three months ago...that did not go well and anxiety came back full force and maybe even worse. I have been dating the guy of my dreams for 7 months now and I felt like he could be the one for me, like hes what I'm supposed to have matched myself with if I had correctly gone about my life. He loves my personality and who I am but in combination with stopping Celexa, and looking back on my entire life of messed up mistakes and avoidance, Im really worried I'll disappoint him...Im starting to have a meltdown of how this life I so badly want is so far out of reach for me at this point. I feel like there is no way out. Ive started taking Celexa again now for about three weeks because the anxiety was way too horrible Icould not even socialize properly like I have been for the past years I'been on the medication. It felt forgin to me to be so shy and self conscious. I feel like I've open Pandora's box and now that I've seen that glimpse of how I used to feel...I cant live in the same ignorant bliss. I really do try every single day to be a good person and reach my goals but it is a constant struggle! I don't expect a reply. I don't even know if this makes sense...but I'm currently looking for counselling or someone to talk to. My boyfriend says he'll be there for me, but I don't think he knows the extent of how i feel...or how long this might take to recover? He is perfect and deserves a perfect girl honestly! I may look normal but I'm so not! :( 


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HAVE U TRIED CBT???

 

REGARDS,

GIL

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Hi there! I can feel some of your pain because I am naturally very prone to depression and anxiety. I had and even sometimes have serious procrastination problems. I think everyone can benefit from having a select person or tiny group of people to really confide in. Have you talked to your parents/close friends/boyfriend about these problems? The more supportive people in your life, the more stable you will be. If you feel Celexa is helping you, I see no reason to quit it. Another thing to work on is valuing and respecting yourself. The most effective way to gain this is with age- As you get older, you will be more at peace with yourself and do less self-destructive things (like cutting class). Find something you really like (writing, photography, etc.) and get into it. Try breaking a sweat on the treadmill. Sometimes it's good to just focus on making yourself feel good. What I like to do when I'm stressed: Put on the calming sound of rain (on youtube), make some good tea, watch a movie, take a bath with scented bath salts, etc. Whenever you feel unworthy of your boyfriend, instead of thinking bad things about yourself, work extra hard to be good to him. Doing this will give you a reason to feel like you deserve what he does for you.



Good luck!
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I know what your going through. I have severe anxiety, only difference is that I havent ever been to a doctor that would treat me with medication, So I started self medicating at an early age with XANAX, which I believe made my anxiety worse. My nerves get so bad that I can't even socialize with some of my clsoest FAMILY and FRIENDS. I just found a DR. to prescribe me 2mg Klonipin. Only problem is my brother pissed the nurses off working up front, and I called for my appointment yesterday and they told me they discharged me because they didn't want to deal with me cause I was related to my bro. So now im up sh*t creek without a paddle just stressing out bad. Hopefully I can find a DR by tomorrow to help me out. But, yea I know what your going through and it sucks, I ran out of meds 5 days ago and have been having panic attacks all day every day. Hope everything works out for you.
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Hi people I would like to write to you and say there are a few thing you can do to stop being as anxious.

1 exercise.

2 dont drink tea or coffee, caffeine is really bad for anxiety.

3 drink more water.

4 know you can change the way your mind thinks by doing different things.

I know its hard but it does work you can ask any questions you want I will help anybody with this condition.

I have had really bad anxiety and couldn't walk down the road without feeling really ill and now I can go out travel go to work.

 

ANXIETY 7 YEARS WITH NO MEDS

feel free to talk about it anad ask any questions you want I will help all I can..

bye for now

 

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you are not alone.. i can totally relate to your story.. except im not a blond :).. i have been socially awkward ever since i know.. in college i started to get hyperventilation.. im dating the same guy for 3years already.. in our second year together i had a panic attack in the bus ride home.. ever since that time i had GAD.. he knows me as a fun, happy and strong person.. i changed his mind.. but.. because i know we are meant for one another.. i didnt stop fighting.. i stood alone for a year.. with all of that struggle.. for a year he hasnt given up on me.. if he truly loves you.. you dont need to worry about that.. the more you worry.. the more hassle it will be for you.. look for a specialist.. im also seeing one.. the doctor will prescribe you the kind of medicine best for your situation.. honestly you are doing even better then me.. i wasnt able to get out of my house without having someone with me.. and i look up to you for being able to work and go out.. you have more control over your mind then you know it.. just look for advice from a specialist so everything will be easier for you:)
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