Anxiety sabotaged my life

Im going to try and make this as condensed as possible. It feels like I cant even explain the extent of my problem. My whole life I think I've suffered from anxiety, (social) but somehow when I was younger was able to have many friends, have fun, be a bit shy but none the less have a pretty normal life aside from temper tantrums?. I'm a blond,(im told, although sometimes i really don't believe it honestly) attractive girl who I think would have had great potential in this world if it hadn't been for my problem. It became evident in highschool how different I was and I could no longer hide it. I felt isolated, ignored my friends, withdrew...grades dropped. By grade 10 I was skipping out of 80% of my classes. I would still go to school, I just wouldn't go to class, It made me nervous. I had friends, I went out, surprisingly I socialized to a degree. But I wasn't progressing in my life. Its like I was ignoring my self and my needs. I ended up not graduating. I am, ( I think) fairly smart, care about whats going on in the world, like sports, animals, friends...but its like I have this mental block repeating all my same mistakes again but trying so damn hard not to. About two years ago (I'm 22 now) I started on Celexa, because I think I just started realizing how bad I was messing up my life by ignoring how I felt. I had become anorexic and got to the point of breaking down in helplessness with what to do with myself. I was lost. I Had managed to respond well to Celexa and built a great group of friends around me, had an alright job, a car...even a boyfriend. Anyway, those two years have passed and alot has happened in them, most for the good!. I have a pretty normal family life and supportive parents to help me whenever I need it. I met a new guy 7 months ago and I stopped taking Celexa about three months ago...that did not go well and anxiety came back full force and maybe even worse. I have been dating the guy of my dreams for 7 months now and I felt like he could be the one for me, like hes what I'm supposed to have matched myself with if I had correctly gone about my life. He loves my personality and who I am but in combination with stopping Celexa, and looking back on my entire life of messed up mistakes and avoidance, Im really worried I'll disappoint him...Im starting to have a meltdown of how this life I so badly want is so far out of reach for me at this point. I feel like there is no way out. Ive started taking Celexa again now for about three weeks because the anxiety was way too horrible Icould not even socialize properly like I have been for the past years I'been on the medication. It felt forgin to me to be so shy and self conscious. I feel like I've open Pandora's box and now that I've seen that glimpse of how I used to feel...I cant live in the same ignorant bliss. I really do try every single day to be a good person and reach my goals but it is a constant struggle! I don't expect a reply. I don't even know if this makes sense...but I'm currently looking for counselling or someone to talk to. My boyfriend says he'll be there for me, but I don't think he knows the extent of how i feel...or how long this might take to recover? He is perfect and deserves a perfect girl honestly! I may look normal but I'm so not! :(