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Hi everyone hope you're all good, I was excited to read your stories and found lots of similar things that weed got me in to.

So I started smoking weed when I switched schools and got in a hip hop based culture friends group if we can call it like that, when I was about 15years young. The whole thing was just amazing, new experiences, the raps the tracks the amazing times we had was just the best days...not for long though. I had an addictive personality from the day of birth. I was doing loads of sports like basketball(whole life), swimming (5years), skateboarding (2years), football(4years) and I used to be very good at all things I did but gradually stopped everything apart from basketball when started to smoke weed. This was because weed smoking was the best activity emotionally and got unmotivated to do less exciting stuff...

What really started ruining my life was that I only hung out with the potheaded people that couldnt do nothing being sober and i couldnt enjoy my time with the people on the "correct" path of life. This is when i started being anxious and telling myself that I'm f*****g up my life and what i was doing was wrong, nevertheless i did not stop smoking because I didnt want to lose my friends. It was very clear to me what weed was doing to my life(wheight loss, memory loss, motivational problems) this led to more anxiety,stress and unhelpful thinking.

First time I had sex I didnt have a full erection and I didn't get to orgasm. I lost my girlfriend, I lost my best friend who I had a really big connection with. Everytime after that I had sex i couldnt have a proper erection and reach orgasm. That first time led me in to performace anxiety i think.. Anyway through out that period of weed smoking i created so many big problems in my life that it got me so lost in it i had to take anti-depressants for a month and realise that it was the weed that screwed up my head and write this here in the forum. Weed is such an innocent plant i thought to myself and couldn't even admit that it had an effect on me..

Today I'm in a situation where i have given up smoking cigarettes for 1.5 years, weed (3months), alcohol(1month). Im experiencing very unconfortable withdrawal symptoms like thinking that my life is already ruined even though I'm only 20years young. I can't enjoy anything because it doesn't take me as high as drugs did. I've sunk in to desperate depression and haven't mentioned all of the details that come with the package.

All I want to do is be normal again, enjoy the simple things, find a girlfriend and love, look healthy...is there a way back?

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EDIT: I realized,

I can't and I don't blame weed for the situation that I'm in because it is me who I can blame only. There was so much sh*t going on in my life and the weed just only man the think that is so much more f***** up. This what led me into depression anxiety and so on...

My advice if you're going through a lot of stress related to your physical/mental problems don't smoke weed because you'll only make them worse like I did. DEAL WITH THEM FIRST!
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youre only young you will get back into the swing of things, least you not 42 like me and only seeing the light (10 years smoke) you sound a good natural athelete, you probably just need to get that heart pumping hard out for longer than most to release endorphins similar to a pot high. Love will come your way again :) follow your heart and it will all come together :)
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You are super young bro, you have a sh*t ton of time to get back on track.. Look at it as a learning experience.. I have relatives that did hard drugs.. They got fkd up, went to jail, lost jobs, etc... It makes me not feel so bad abt smoking weed.. You have to see the positive in it.. You can do it man
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masturbate - a lot - get that thing in gear :)  stop weed - it makes penises limp

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