Okay so my foster family thinks I'm "crazy" or that I need help. I have done stuff and still do stuff now that shows traits for a sociopath. 

So with being this way people seem to fear me. I find this as a good opportunity for myself to use them. I am aware of right and wrong but still don't care when it comes down to it. But I see that if their scared that I'll do something to them then they will do what I want. If I want them to do my dirty work for me then they will out of fear. Most people will naturally tell their friends making their friends fear me too. So win, win for me.

Another thing is people who don't know my "disorder" tend to like me more. They feel the need to come to me. Sometimes people say their my friend and that they love me,and would do anything for me. Another advantage. I don't love them and don't care for them. However since they consider me a friend if I'm ever in trouble they can come to help me. That way I still have a clean slate, but sometimes they get hurt in the process. Oh well. When around people I observe them and see who they are. Once I engage in conversation I conform to what person they would like. It's kind of like wearing a mask and behind it I'm plotting something.

Pain. It's odd for me. I feel pleased watching or hurting something. When I hurt people or animals, watching them feel pain makes me feel slightly better. I try to hide tis about me so people won't know or else they would dift away and I wouldn't benefit anymore. It's hard to explain and I don't care too explain any further on this topic.

I lie alot. I tells lies everyday just to get what I want. Like my foster dad told me one time I could have a snack. So I take three cookies and eat them. Then once he left I asked my foster mom if I could, she said yes, another three cookies for me. Of course I liked that and continued this for years. I liked how they were so blind as to see this. One day they were talking about it and found out what I was doing so I made up another convincing lie in there too. I told them that I asked dad and then asked mom a few minutes later then got my cookies but they were too ignorant. This continues to this day.

But this is what it's like being in my mind. I will post more about this stuff and comment if you have similar traits maybe we could benefit from each other.