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Hey um... hoping someone out there can help me with this... this has happened 3 times already and I'm starting to wonder if it's going to be like this for 'ever'... here's an example scenario: i like this guy, or at least believe i do; i like the way he smiles, how he laughs, how i can feel his body heat from standing close etc etc. corny i know but that's how i feel when i like a guy... everything about them makes me smile but at the same time I'm able to see why someone might not like them... if that makes sense. so i guess my 'rose-tinted glasses' are only lightly tinted?

Anyway. i really like the guy. then i find he likes me back and i'm so happy i smile so randomly, people on the bus look at me weirdly

The next time i see them, it might be alright...

But after that stuff starts happening. when i see them i automatically notice all their flaws, physically and mentally. I start to pity them. I don't want to be around them, like i have many many other things i could be doing with my time. they basically disgust me. not to mention the nauseating feeling that makes me want to puke whenever i get more then 30cm near them.

What i need to know is... has this happened to anyone else?[ I'm 15 and like i said, it's happened 3 times already....] and if it has, have you grown out of it or have any idea what causes it? i'd really like some help if anyone is able and willing :| Thanks.

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I don't know if you had an opportunity to go through this thread but it deals with a similar issue:

https://www.steadyhealth.com/I_feel_sick_when_im_near_my_girlfriend___why__t87136_st0.html

Go through the posts and see if you could related to anyone's story.

God luck! Hope you'll find your way out of it
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hey my best friend was just like what you are going throw she is now 20 and it doesn't effect her anymore..so hope that helps!!!
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Wow !

I agree with another poster. This sounds psychological. One word I have not heard mentioned is FEAR. Could fear of intimacy be at the root of this problem? I think so. Perhaps something in a person's life, (maybe a loss or abandonment) would leave a person in desperate fear of feeling those resulting emotions again. Perhaps when they do start feeling close to someone emotionally, their mind says no way and their body responds accordingly. That's the only thing that makes sense to me. Especially since everyone who posted said that they actually loved the person, but didn't want to be close with them.. I've learned something new from these posts. Keep discussing this. We'd like to learn more.
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Definately a psychological issue. May times people just like the feeling of liking someone and the thrill of the chase. It's like a game to them and they need to know they are desired and loved by other people and when they find out someone likes them back the game is over.
Other times many people are afraid to get close to someone so they unconciously reject that person because they don't want to be hurt themselves so before they get a chance to be hurt they reject. It's not an age thing you grow out of it's a wrong mindset that you need to find out why you have. How is your relationship with your parents? Are both of them around? Are they divorced?
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I feel EXACTLY the same, dont worry, you're not alone.
I was worried about this until i discovered many other people feel this way and its something we just grow out of over time. I spent too much time worrying about it and thinking something was wrong with me.. dont think somethings wrong with you because for some people its perfectly natural and is something that will eventualy go. I used to think the only way i could be physical with a guy i liked and stop feeling sick around him was to be drunk! So thats what i would do.. at partys i would get drunk and do stuff with guys... PLEASE DONT DO THIS lol it was stupid as i obviously wasnt ready. Perhaps this sick feeling is just a warning sign that we're not ready yet for a physical relationship with a guy.
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I feeel the same way!
im thinking its because my mum abandoned me when i was 8.
i don't understand completely why i feel this way though
when i like someone i love likeingthem and just want them to like me back, i can kiss them or hook up or what not but as soon as we're a couple i feel sick and get worried and somehow feel embarrased and question everything.
i'm with this guy now and his great, he play guitar has a job and all that jazz, his only 18 and so am i but i freak out every time i see him or everytime i am close to him and i feel awkward and as if though im being a b***h.
i really want to know why this happens and weather or not i should break it off and sort out my head before being in a serious relation ship?

it would help me soo so much if some one could email me at

thanks guys!

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omg i feel the EXACT same way as soon as i find out they like me a day later or something i find things not to like them i look at everyone of thier flaws and i feel disgusted idk and im 16 ! its happened alot too
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I know how you feel! And I am extremely glad to hear that I am not the only one!

Usually what happens with me is that I can like someone, but once I think they like me back I get physically sick. I feel like throwing up, I lose my appetite, I'm always tired, and I'm very shaky (like shivering, but stronger). I'm 18, but this has happened to me ever since 4th grade and I would really like it to quit!

I'm guessing the problem is psychological, and I wonder if seeing a counselor or a therapist will help. That's what I'm debating about for myself right now.
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Omg I get that!! Theres a guy that I sort of like... I mean I thought I liked but.... Then he started liking me back and now I just can't even stand the thought of going out with him, but apparently he's planning to ask me out!! What the heck am I supposed to do now!!!??? Oh and also I still kinda like another guy who I was in love with for a year and a half... I don't wanna see him because I just feel sick and my heart races and... Grrrrrrrr it's so frustrating!!!
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HI, I found this question and it sounded EXACTLY like me, and I saw your comment and it makes ALOT of sense because my mum and dad are divorced, and they fought all the time mainly when I was little, and my dad and step mum had a massive fight when I was over there and ever since then I've had bad anxiety and I feel sick and worry about everything, when I get close to a guy I like and I feel as if he likes me I instantly turn off him and notice all of his flaws and I feel sick around him a lot, and when I had a boyfriend everytime I saw him I felt like I was gonna spew, Any suggestions on what this may be??
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I get so much enrgy when I read what both of you has written, because I feel the same thing, around boys I like and around boys who likes me. It's annoying and a feeling which is awful to feel. I've searched the web about feeling sick around another person. It said that it means "you're not ment to be", and you are "empathic" you feel energies from other persons, so iif you feel sick by another person you should not be with that person because he or she probably will take your energy. But I do really like to hear another answear, because it doesn't fit in to my experiences because some of the guys that made me feel sick also gave me energy, so why???

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feeling the same way as you do, honey. It's bad :(
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I'm the exact same, im 14 and my parents fought when i was young, ever since then i've had bad anxiety aswell and constatntly feel sick and nauseated with a really bad lowr abdominal pain and lose my appetite and go skinny, i feel sick around guys that i like and they like me back, feel tired, sick, shaky, lose my appetite, get skinny, i REALLY need to talk to a counsellour because i'm worried about my future, because you have to be in a relationship when you grow up pretty much but how am i gonna go through marriage, pregnancy, LIFE with this problem?
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I feel the same way. I am 21 years old and am still experiencing the same problem. 

However, I HAVE talked to a counceler about it. At first, she was intregued by my reaction and didn't know how to give me an answer. She did however, state that she would read up on it and explain to me later. After a couple months of talking about it and how much the problem seemed to influence my day to day life, she finally came to a conclusion. She said that simply, our being is comprised of three theoretical parts. There is the heart, mind, and body. Most people think with their mind, as soceity has taught them. There are those, however who use their heart to run their actions. She said that this problem originated from the body. That my body was basically pleaing to my mind about how it was not ready. Sure my heart and mind were and thats why I was able to like a guy at all. I knew the qualities I wanted and even then, I could fall for a guy so easily. But as soon as they start liking me back, the body freaks. The  mind and heart dont listen until your body feels the equivalent feeling of jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Like the example scenario, jumping off is not the answer. Your body is trying to save you, or what it percieves as saving. Thats probably why for so many people why it just eventually goes away- is because the body developes further and further over time and finally you just grow out of it. Thats why you feel mentally and in your heart ready for it, but then you just get sick because really, thats all the body gets to do. Most people start associating the sickness with qualities to try and explain the symptoms...it's a back of the mind effect that you dont know is even happening. You mind begins to work against itself and you wind up in this frustrated mess. Granted while this was an amazing answer that made total sense in my head- IT WAS NOT THE ANSWER I WANTED TO HEAR. I felt depressed for week afterwards because, honestly, how long do I have to wait before I can do what my mind and heart feel ready to do. But that became the struggle, learning to love myself, listen to myself and understand that as much as my mind was peer pressuring my heart into thinking it, the more I thought about it, I'd really rather wait till I didn't feel sick around a guy so I could actually have those movie moments. I haven't tried getting a guy to like me since, telling myself that my body isn't ready and I'm not going to lie, it's f**king hard. It's sooo hard. And I do like a guy now, but I am trying the 'friends' first approach. If I can keep him beside me as a friend then he will still be around when my body is ready. I dunno when that will be, but hopefully soon since he is graduating this year.

 

As for the divorce or fighting parents theory. That actually goes into this theory, as my therapist told me. She said that fighting parents/ divorce emotionally and mentally impacts the growth of a child mind. Children are forced to 'grow up' faster mentally in order to survive the amount of stress while their bodies are put on the back burner. This is just your bodies healthy responce to early stress and as unfortunate and frustrating as it is, really there is nothing you can do about it. It can happen through any stressful situation as a child. My parents divorced when I was young, and I was forced to grow up mentally in order to understand why daddy no longer came home with mommy. Thus I spent more of my life being a slightly more mature person than those around me. But while their bodies developed in the way of emotional transmitters, mine did not and I now that I am older, I'm force to make up for it now. It sucks, truely it does, but it makes sense. I'm just glad that my Therapist was able to help me figure it out  in all aspects, and as much as I hated the answer and still do, IM REALLY GLAD to see I'm not the only one out there who feels this way. That being said, I'm 21 and I've been through this for at least 8 years. But I've read so many stories by this point, and every single one of them says that we do grow out of it. One of the oldest ages I've heard so far was 28- now I hope I dont have to wait that long....but it does give me hope that I will actually be able to enjoy a relationship eventually. I hope that helps.

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