I felt like getting this off of my chest. I'm 21 years old and I have 3 younger sisters. I don't feel like they care about me as much as I care about them, which hurts because when I'm out grocery shopping with my mom, I buy them snacks because I know they like to eat. I buy them things occasionally as a surprise, but when it comes to me, not so much. We're not exactly that close but I feel pretty left out sometimes and it sucks because in my heart, I always had this expectation on how sisters should be so when my sisters and I aren't like the ones where we get to be each other's best friends and share secrets, it frustrates me and hurts me. My other two little sisters are only 11 and 13, but I feel like they wouldn't care if I moved out, in fact one of them was pretty happy about it. I get along with my 13 year old sister because we both are kind, compared to my other two sisters who don't really think about other people. My other sister who is a year younger than me, even though we grew up together, our differences has made it impossible for us to even be close. I also suffer from anxiety so it doesn't help when I overthink things, and I know right now, I may be overdramatic, but it hurts to see that I'm not as important to them as they are to me. I hate being the oldest sister because I have to be a good role model etc. But it's tiring because I have to look after me as well. I don't know how many times I thought about how I can be a good sister but this time, I got fed up and decided to not care anymore. I'll still care about my sisters but this time, I won't let their words and actions affect me. Maybe it's my fault for expecting too much from them, cause as their big sister, they don't realize how much I've been doing for them so it just hurts to see how unappreciative they are. I know my 13 year old sister cares about me, since I feel comfortable around her but the other two aren't as nice. They once told me I was bossy but I'm their big sister, of course I'm bossy. There are times where I feel like moving out because all this negative energy is just putting me down and I still want to move out because I'm letting their actions affect me more. I'm just really, really tired.
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