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Hello,

I am a young (20) bipolar woman and I have absolutely no luck finding any medications that work for me. I also have ADHD, and other medical (mental health) issues that are manageable and not relevant. Even with everything, my problems lie with the harsh low of a depression that has pretty much been a constant in my life since I was 12.

I have seen a few different doctors, and settled on a psychiatrist who I see mostly because he just makes me feel better when I am depressed.
Over the last two years, I have been through 3 ADHD meds, 1 antipsychotic, 2 mood stabilizers, and 5 antidepressants. The only medications I seem to be comfortable with are ADHD meds and mood stabilizers; however it is only because the side-effects are tolerable.

I still feel very helpless and trapped within myself. I used to believe I was just depressed, and only very recently realized that I am bipolar (II). I do have 'highs', but mostly in the form of rage and irritability. My family is loving and they try to help me cope and just be there, but I feel that I am losing control over my emotions and it is making life harder for everyone around me.

I will be honest and say that I have had a few past problems with alcohol and drugs, which is why I sought professional help in the first place. Those problems are resolved, which is great, however still very hard for me because of my lack of success finding medical help that works. I know I am a very smart person, in school and learning about my greatest passion - the stars - but my current mental state is severely blocking my path to success.

Please, if anyone has any advice, I would be really appreciate it. Even just advice on how to not frustrate everyone around me (without just holding in my emotions) would be amazing.

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I have a daughter that tells me the same things you say. She also says that there is no medicine that helps her. She has tried many different cocktails of things. At the moment she is on depekote and lexepro.
She has a short temper. She does make it miserable around here a lot with her loud outburst and drama displays. She threatens suicide. And if a boyfriend breaks up with her. She has to be watched closely for cutting or suicidal tendencies. I have to give her lots of love, I am very patient and I take a lot from her knowing she has a problem and does not want to behave and react the way she does. She is in and out of juvinile hall. 4 times now. Truency, curfew, pot, violent outburst, choking, biting familiy members and boyfriend when she is angry. It is really sad. Because there is this really good side to her that I wish would stay around a little longet than it does. I cherish the good days and hours she has to give. I endure the rest of the time and I do feel that with time, bi-polars can adventually learn to cope with their emotions, learn and use coping skills the therapist have tought them and make it through this life if they choose to.
Some don't want to try, feel like everyone hates them and they end their lives. I force myself, and get in my daughters face and I look at her and I say, "I love you" "You are so pretty" and if she apoligizes for her behaviors I always say, "I know you don't want to be that way baby, thankyou, I love you".
Well, I am dealing with a bi-polar daughter. I have to let you know that the family thinks about the child with the problem more than anyone else. The other kids realize this and become jealous that the family is always worried about you. You are 20, this is a great age. You can go to junior college, work part time somewhere that will lift your confidence. I want to tell you that you are all ready a step ahead, a big step ahead by taking responsiblity and admiting in here that you cause your family pain and you also say that they are loving people. Wow, my daughter makes up lies about our family to strangers like you wouldn't believe! I think that is so great that you have good things to say about your family! Alls I can say is to try very hard to make an effort to have possitive thoughts. Catch yourself. Look at things in a possitive way. Appreciate art, colors, plants, clouds, the simple things that are beautiful and there. Some people never see these things. Because they don't open their minds up and soak in all the goodness and great things life has to offer. Its all attitude. Its all a way of perceiveing life, situations and everything. You can change the way you percieve things. You have that power. Beat it, fight it, win! Good luck to you.
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