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Long story but here goes: This woman is absolutely the love of my life. She is the one I truly believe God intends me to be with. The problem is hot and cold. She is suffering from depression and is currently with family over 600 miles away. One week shell want me and be jealous thinking some other girl wants me, then out of the blue she will hate me and say things like she never wants to be with me and that I am a waste of her life. This absolutely tears my heart to shreds. I know in my heart that she is the one, and that I would lay my life down for her, yet she continues to hurt me blaming me for her problems. I dont want to come across as the relationship being all bad though, because this is just something that has gone on in the last few months. I know that I can not let her go. I know that no one (and I am not saying this to be demeaning toward her in anyway, I mean it in the most positive sense) could EVER love her as much as I do. Its not a sexual thing, it is a deep unbreakable love deep within me. We broke up for about 3 or 4 months in 2011, and in that time she dated another man, and I was a wreck. Hate to admit it, but there was a suicide attempt by me in that time, and now with these problems I feel myself headed right back down the road of depression. I am losing control of my emotions. I have had my job threatened because of crying at work, Never leave the house unless I have to, and sleep in my free time. I have never been a crier but losing her  is the quickest way to make the tears flow. I lost an uncle 9/10/12 and 2 days before that while she KNEW he was in the hospital, knew what I was going through, she out of the blue says "Im saying goodbye" Then about a week after he died she came around. Then she said things like she didnt feel bad for me because I had been very rough on her ex that died of cancer. I am not perfect in this relationship. I have done and said things I shouldnt have, I have stooped to a childish level in arguments, Said mean things out of anger. But I always apologize. I have not once ever heard her say she was sorry. Here recently I had given her money for her birthday and Christmas, and it was a pretty substantial sum, and it was in a good time for us, but the a week later she was back to hating me. So, naturally I accused her of using me and said something to the effect of yea I bought a week of love, once the money ran out so did your love for me. Of course, I shouldnt have said that. HOWEVER I apologized and felt she owed me an apology for saying that I wasnt a man and that I cant take care of her. All I got was "I spoke the truth, you fail me in so many ways and Im sick of you." The pain for me is too much to bear, yet I cant let go. I know were meant to be together. I dont want to turn this into a religious discussion, simply because thats the last thing people want to discuss, but I believe in God, and I pray. To the point of this: I believe God gives signs, and every time we break up and I get upset I will see something that you would consider a sign, but I wont go into detail. However trust that it is unmistakable. Every time I see this without fail we get back together. Also, 2 instances of this: I have said a prayer to let her go twice. The first time, she came to me the very next day after I had said it and told me she was more in love with me than she had ever been and that she couldnt live without me. The second time was a few weeks ago and after I had said it once again she started saying she missed me. I just dont get it. So what do I do? Cant live without her and cant make it work.


i totaly see myself in your storie. Bp persons can be unbelievably mean and irrational sometimes. I broke up a 2 yrs relationship with this girl in dec. She was VERY unstable lattely and would guilt me for all her problems and say horrible things like your girl said, blaming me for small things ive done in the pass (they need to find something to build the scene for the drama). Spite that i still nice to her until a day she treated me like c**p and said:"now im stronger than you, things are going to be mybway and what are you going to do.haha". That day i broke up with her and its been 2 months and i never looked back. Yes its VERY hard, but the they only will love us if with love ourselfs. put in your mind that they suffer way much more than you and was NEVER your fault. the only way to recouver your girl is if you recouver your love for yourself. dont let her treat u this way, give your back and wallk away without looking behind and if she is yours as destiny, God will put her in your path changed.