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Hi I have been with my boyfriend for nearly three years and he has bipolar and ADHD. When he was younger he had a psychological report done and it was decided that at the age of 9 he had the intellect of a 13 year old but the emotional immaturity of a 5 year old. This has pretty much been the same through out his life, he is now 28. Through his teen years he was very unstable and very aggressive, always doing really irrational things and took lots of drugs. When I met him he had stopped taking the drugs but continued to smoke cannabis, something that is a long standing battle in our relationship. He had a few aggressive outbursts (never hitting me) which resulted in him going to the the doctors to get some help. He is now taking medication for his problems and was diagnosed with bipolar. Three of his immediate family also suffer from this but tend to react in a different way when they have an 'episode'. Recently, unbeknown to me, he has been feeling very under pressure, had a very restless sleeping pattern having frequent nightmares every night and stopped taking his meds. One day he suddenly told me that he didn't know if he loved me any more which came as a complete surprise because we have always been so close and know one could believe it. He couldn't stop crying and was clearly very upset when he left me. He came home 2 days later saying he had made a mistake. A week had passed and I found out that during that week he slept with someone else. He broke down and kept telling me he loved me. We had a few days apart and I found he had slept with her again something that he denies. When I tried to talk to him about it he had a melt down which resulted in having to go to hospital. The doctors think he has been having a breakdown and it has been manifesting itself in the way he treated me. I want to believe that he would never have done these things to me and told all these lies but how do I know. How do I know its his illness and not just that he doesn't love me any more? Am I just too nice or too stupid?

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I too hae been experience in bipolar people. I use to take care of someone who was bipolar, and want to let you know your not alone in your problems. And no, your not to stupid, but may be a little too nice...I do not think that he doesn't love you, cause although someone can fall out of love, but never ever stop loving that person. From what I have read in having his breakdowns and episodes, saying he's sorry and that he still loves you, is true, but you are not resonsible for his actions. And that I am sorry to say I don't think that his bipolar diagonsis could affect his choice in cheating. Cause although he has this illness, he still is responsible for his own actions. And if it doesn't make you too uncomfortable that I give you my opinion. I think if I was in your situation, I would not be able to bear putting this pain on myself, or him, and would have to say that my choice would be to separate from him for good, but you can still continue to have a great relationship with him, as a loving friend who will always be there for him. This is not your fault honey...but if I were you, I would tell him he should always continue to take his medications, and never skip out on them, and maybe this would help a little bit in his episodes and breakdowns. But overall. I do not think that his guilt in breaking down for his cheating is from being bipolar, that he really does love and care for you. I hope I helped a little bit...do what you can, you are only human, and can only continue on doing so much for yourself and him, and neither of you deserve to continue in an unhonest, and painful relationship. Good luck. If you need to talk more, just message me.
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My boyfriend also has bipolar and he cheated on me with my so called best friend after a night of drinking. I was awake in my room and they went to the back yard. I heard her come on to him and being that he hadn't bee taking his medications he didn't stop. I heard him say what about me she said something and the door shut I got up and cought them. He was devestated! He begs for my forgivness and being that its only been a few weeks its hard! I know that when he is on his meds and if there had not been drinking not an excuse but the two together and then adding her being in a bad place as well (she was over because she found her husband in bed with another woman) this was just a mix for disaster. My advice is that if you love him and you want to try to make it work then good for you. You have to listen to your self and not what anyone says. If he is willing to be on his meds no drinking or rec drugs plus maybe outside help that would be wonderful. Look at this web sight it may help bipolar-lives.com as well as get yourself into Nami they have support groups for loved one of people with bipolar. The more educated you and he gets on the illness the better this will help you both in the long run. This is at least what I'm trying. We do truly love eachother and are getting married in June. so as long as we can try to prevent it from happening again were good. :) oh and staying away from temptation!
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If I were you, I would hi-tail it out of that relationship. This pattern of his will continue. Statistics bear that out. He obviously has some medical issues that are very serious and if you stay with him, I'm afraid it will just take over your life too and what's the point in that? You have your own life and deserve some happiness. That's normal. If you decide to end your relationship with him, u need to give it a lot of thought because you don't want to hurt his feelings in a hateful way because I'm sure you want the best for him and you're not trying to be mean to him. Whatever you do, just be prepared so things wont get out of control or anything like that. OK. Best of luck to ya, Rodney
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I loved you answer. I've just been thru the same situation... He has now admited that he has a problem and is starting with meds, I have made it clear that if it happends again I'm out. We have to love but we must also Care for ourself. Your message was from A year ago .. How are things now???
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