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i recently moved in with my bipolar gf of 5 months. as is to be expected, things have been up and down, but generally ok. yewterday suddenly everything about me is aggrevating her, even though i am not home so she texts me to tell me this. then she tells me my tortoises, who ive had for years and am very attached to, have to go. i get home later and shes trying to sleep for her overnight job, and is mad at me for waking her apparently when i opened the front door, and when i try to go to the other room to give her space she texts me asking if i got rid of them yet, so i took them and came to my parents house. later that night we talk, and shes telling me she doesnt know if she wants to live with me anymore, maybe we should take a break for a few days. we argue a little, she says some pretty hurtful stuff and then i finally agree to the break.

i told her that as much as i love the turtles i love her more, so id find people to take them. my mom agrees to take one, but i couldnt find other takers. i called my ex, who had been the source of many fights early in the relationship with current gf, for the first time in months to see if she wanted them (we had bought them together and when we broke up i got them). she said shed take them. 

this morning i go to the apt to get some stuff and she had just gotten home from work. after packing some things i go to try to talk to her before i leave. i ask her if shes ok and she says no, so i ask if this is really what she wants and she cries and says she doesnt know. i tell her that i found people to take 2 of the turtles and she asks who. when i say my ex is one of them she turns suddenly and tells me to leave now and leave my keys on the table. i try to talk to her and she says she was about to say bring them back, but because i had talked to my ex she doesnt want them back, and maybe not even me either. she goes on saying mean things about my family and starts cintradicting alot of stuff shed said before. she was furious that i hadnt given her the chance to think rationally about it, and in less than a day i had turned to my ex. i only had talked to her about the turtles, as i was trying to come up with something in case she didnt come around so i wouldnt burden my parents, its not like i was looking to rekindle anythnig, but she wouldnt hear it. 

my question is, did i act unreasonably? i love her so much, but im in a no win situation here, if i keep them i have to stay at my parents house with them, if i dont she says shes going to feel guilty and that ill hold it over her forever. i kniw she still loves me, shes still said it up until now, and even said it befire the kast blowup, but i just worry theres no coming back from this... im giving her space, hoping itll blow over like it usually does, and im hoping she ses that i really did nothing wrong, but i just dont know right now... weve talked many times about both of us feeling like there was no one ekse for us, and there was no way we could possibly love anyone else any more than this. i still feel that way, i dont want to lose her, i just dont know what to do, or if i scred this up royally...

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well bi-polar people do have or can have anger issues that build up and then they say stuff they don't exactly mean. I only know this, because i have a friend who is Bi-polar and has said some pretty hurtful sh*t to me. We recently had a verbal b***h fight, and alot of hurtful sh*t was said, and i kinda caused it just a little bit. But, even though our friendship has drifted apart a bit, she still knows I"m there for her even if she can be the bigges t b***h to me. I think the only advise i can give you, is to maybe try and have a serious talk with her. I know you said you'se have talked before, but maybe this time once she agree's to have another chat with you, try and explain that you have nothing to do with your ex anymore, and that she was the only one who would take the tortise in. But also re-assure her that you still love her, and that you wouldn't do anything to hurt her. I"m not sure if this will help, but i hope it does :)
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I don't think you reacted unreasonably. I think your girlfriend did.

I had a brother who had bi-polar disorder. He had anger problems. In speaking with him, he would say that emotions were very irrational. He would just have them and not contain them. But because they were irrational, they could stir impulsive actions. Some were demanding actions out of me. They were burdensome and sometimes selfish. I think his disease didn't always let him look outside of himself.

Your girlfriend is going through a lot and I commend you for loving her. Your willingness to work with her is very compassionate. But don't sacrifice too much. I honestly think the demand to get rid of your pets was selfish of her. I imagine she was going through a lot of issues and because she couldn't handle them, she demanded an action that she believed would make her life easier. But did she think about how it would hurt you?

I agree that you need a serious talk with her. Communication seems to be leaning in her favor. She demands things and you give in. If this is going to work and/or be a healthy relationship, communication cannot be so one-sided. Let her know how you feel. Let her know what you want.

I think it's also important to question whether or not this is something you can continue. You, like every person, deserve a loving and healthy relationship. If this is one that cannot be healthy, it's in your best interest to terminate it. Think about if you want to stay in the relationship if she keeps making demands where you have to sacrifice, or if she keeps accusing you, or if her jealousy continues.

Best of luck. Feel free to private message me if you'd like.
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Hi l have bipolar ll which means l get rages, and depression much more than highs and l never loose touch with reality completely though my mood swings still. When l have a mood swing l am not always aware of it and so l follow where my mood takes me as human beings we all do if we feel upset and sad about a situation we do what we think is right at the time to make things better. Does your girlfriend take any type of medication or talk to a Dr for help with possible mood triggers? does she keep a mood diary to help her rate her day? She knows she has bipolar but she may need more help as do you.  ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** web addresses not allowed***
You are trying to be very fair and rational with someone who's emotions are telling them that you are irritating her right now, it isn't you it is the bipolar making her feel unwell/irritated but because you have moved in recently logically she is putting it down to you when she would still feel irritable even if you weren't there. If she won't/can't listen right now then give her some space until her mood has calmed either move back home for a few days or keep your pets there for a few days. Then you will both need a strong heart to heart about being more hands on with her illness she cannot expect you to live like this walking on eggshells around her swings or you will get emotionally tired and leave.

Does she take vitamins, use a light box, is she aware that her periods can be a huge trigger for her and some foods, if she wants to have a future with you it's time you both read and spoke to as many people as you can and get some support.

Good luck to you both and remember to be calm and patient with her this time is not who she really is don't try to reason with her illness it has a will of it's own and try not to let it hurt you she will say things right now she will bitterly regret later because it does not come from her.
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i think that you should give her space. i understand she is sick and my heart goes out to her.however, her illness is affecting you and one day yall wont be able to say im sorry. id go back to my own home and only spend time with her at her house.its true she may need the space to regulate how she feels at certain times. when you wanna spend time with her see if she wants to first. and even then KEEP IT SIMPLE UNLESS SHE CAN HANDLE MORE TIME.whatever you do DONT ASK HER IF SHE CAN HANDLE MORE TIME TOGETHER.that will set her off.simply inquire if she wants you to leave.at some point YOU should say I AM LEAVING NOW.this will give her the option to ask you to stay.IM PROUD OF YOU FOR LOVING HER.give her and yourself time to miss what you both love about each other.give her time to be in her comfort zone without feeling like you are invading it.if she is on meds DEFINITELY DONT LET HER STOP!GOOD LUCK

p.s. id keep a small journal(at moms house) just so you dont feel overcome by the ups and downs.besides you can go back and reread what you wrote and it usually can help you know that you didnt do anything wrong.
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