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We met three years ago, and have been living together for about 4 months. I drink every day because I dread being around him at times and can't cope. He is verbally and emotionally abusive to me, has anger issues, and I can't move ahead in life, as he has convinced me that I deserve the bad treatment and I work hard to earn it. He is very controlling and lectures me when I fail to obey his house rules, such as leaving a light on, accidentally breaking a dish or putting leftover food in the fridge. I am isolated and without any support, he says my friends and family are no good. I am going to therapy, but he gets angry that I am depressed, and tells me to snap out of it, even though he is smoking medical marijuana, which he claims is for stomach pain and depression. He has a pattern of yelling at me when I am at my weakest moments. He verbally abused me on several occasions, in front of family and friends, and has yelled at me while suffering through panic attacks, making the situation unbearable and even worse. Only once before have I been in an abusive relationship such as this, with a young man who I found out later was doing cocaine, and who knows what else. It was the same thing, the more I would try to please him, the worse I was treated. I used to have a life, friends, career and passions, but he has stripped me of all confidence and joys in life. I am a very good cook and artist, but my creations never meet his standards. It doesn’t matter that I went above and beyond on a special dish or project. The fact that I broke a glass erases all. He’ll spend ten seconds telling me I did something well, then 45 minutes telling me everything that I did wrong in my life in explicit detail….I am only as good as the last bad thing I did. I don’t want to live this way, always walking backwards through the apartment in case I dropped a piece of tissue and having to sit through a lecture about how irresponsible I am…Is this a combination of his anger issues and the mood swings from the marijuana addiction? Or is he just a very mean person? Living here is hell…I tell him how much his words hurt me, (my therapist suggested I start asking for my needs), and I tell him that he makes me want to hurt myself. He responds with, don’t kill yourself here, I don’t want to clean up the mess.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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I've been smoking marijuana for almost 5 years now and i can confidently say it does have some side effects.. but its different to every user. My girlfriend doesn't like the fact i have to smoke almost everyday to calm my nerves, but she also doesnt like seeing me in a pissed off/ depressed mood when im not smoking it. But i don't recall myself ever getting verbally abusive towards her... even though i mite be prone to get aggravated over little things when i'm not stoned.

Its hard to say if your b.f is the way he is because of the drug or because he has some other underlining issues he has never dealt with .. and is using drugs to coop. If you are in a abusive relationship.. and you recognize it, my only suggestion is LEAVE HIM! If you know truly that their are better people out there for you, then you should start a new life that doesn't hold you back.

I'm just curious though.. when he is stoned or high does he become more friendly and calm? or does he continue to be an ass and abusive when hes stoned as well?
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Marijuana, the #1 drug for Angries

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sounds like you might be co-dependent. Google it and read about it.
Maybe you should think about getting out of this relationship...ask yourself this..."Why would I love someone who hurts me, physically, verbally and emotionally?"

Sweetie...you are worthy to be loved...no one can treat you like a doormat unless you lie down and act like one. Stand up for yourself...and get away from that guy. People who love you don't abuse you....
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Sounds like he has a personality disorder, possibly Borderline Personality Disorder. He is not going to change. You may likely end up in the emergency room. You deserve to be treated with respect. Get out now, while you can.

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Seems like your going throught same circumstances as me. At the moment been with my boyfriend since 16 I am now 19 and he is nearly 23. He has been smoking pot since he was 14 and when we met was charming a sweetheart and promised to look after me. I must admit I smoke to but not as much and keep my emotions to myself as I have trouble communicating with him without getting told to f**k off and called abusie hurtful names. He also has laid his hands on me I have a big bruise on my arm and as much as I love him its just not on. Everytime I try to reason with him it's my fault. I feel so weak because I have nowhere to go and e usually kicks me out after I give him my money. I don't know how I can leave and and forget about how much I love him I have no support I just don't know what to do.
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Phone a womens shelter and get counseling. There must be something near you. Call one of the community services and ask. You are young....don't waste your good years to be unhappy. There is so much good in the world and why be miserable. Good luck. Go get yourself help and start to live!
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Yes he does
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