My boyfriend of 2 years whom I love dearly is prescribed to Gabapentin and a mild anti depressant and he also has zanax and one that starts with an "N" like Neuroeptinyn or something. He says he takes the mood stabilizer for panic attacks and siezures.......but I think he is bipolar? His dad is a doctor and he says his Dad would know if he was bipolar and he is not. He makes me feel like I am crazy. One minute he is loving, understanding, willing to do anything for me even talks about getting engaged and then I will say something that will set him off and suddenly he accuses me of being this terrible girlfriend. I feel like over the past year he has had extreme ups and downs. His nickname in College was "Mr. Mad" given to him by his fraternity brothers?? I feel nervous sometimes like I don't know who I am going to be talking to, a mad or happy person and I am always walking on egg shells trying not to make him mad.......I am a fairly easy going and understanding person and I want to work this out but I am emotionally exhausted. I lost my job and he pushed me away for a month and then we worked things out and the past two months have been wonderful but I just got one of his calls where he is upset with me, and does not call for three days but says that it is my fault. I was mad at him for not making an effort to call me while he was away on business and we have done a downward spiral from there. What do I do, I love him but I don't want to live like this and I always think it will get better.....
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Run!!!! I just left this same situation. He and I were great friends; however, I didnt know he was diagnosed as being bipolar. He hid it from me for quite awhile. When our friendship grew closer and we bagan to fall in love, he confided in me. From the moment on I saw the extreme highs and lows of his illness. One minute he was loving and affectionate the next scolding me like a small child. The most smallest things took him over the edge. Soon after he became emotionally and verbally abusive I started to see red flags of possible physical abuse in the future. When upset he would kick dents in my car, punch walls and one time flipped me over in a chair. I know you must love him...and its difficult becuase I kept saying he needs me to be empathetic to his needs he cant help it. But, I had come to realize I couldnt spend my life living like this. He highs and lows were beginning to effect my self esteem and confidence. Be strong and move on. Its hard at first but after your away from it you'll start to have a much clearer vision to what you had your self in. Stay strong and move on.
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reading this seems like I wrote it, but I didn't...I just lived it...for 3 years. He recently left me. I am now realizing how restricted my life has been, how controlling he was, and how much I had to try to be perfect. i too love him deeply. despite how my life was with him, his illness, his denial of the effects of BP, I unconditionally love him. Sadly, he only knows conditional love, and i was never going to measure up. it hurst so badly becaseu I remember all the good times and hoew good he could be, but the bad started coming more and more frequently. I wishh he only could see the real story!
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