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Hi, I have been living with my partner for more than a year now. He is a very macho man and always has to be in control. He is very abusive, physically, mentally, verbally, emotionally, and any other way you can imagine. I have a history of mental disorder, and suffer from bi-polar, psychosis, and dependancy disorder. When my man abuses me, he always threatens that he will leave me, knowing that he cannot afford to do so as I am the bread winner in the partnership. Why do I become a wreak and beg him not to leave me when he makes me so dreadfully unhappy. I will go to his place of employment, despite knowing that he will fight with me, and beg him to come home. I am so scared to be alone, but I am tired of being stressed, and depressed all the time. Please help.

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Only answer I can give you is TO GET OUT NOW.
Unless you want to continue living like this. Been there, done it. It will not get better.
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Get out now... it's not worth it... You may be afraid to be alone but being alone and trying to find someone else who is not abusive is much better than living the way you are!! You never know when he will snap and really hurt you!!
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I was very dependant on a man for seven long miserable years, until one day i said enough is enough for me. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that i had actually aged thru this nightmare. I was so nervous, i couldn't eat, my hair was falling out due to stress, my skin looked awful, i shook, and i could go for days living on just coffee and cigarettes. After the 5th time of leaving him and going back, i finally stayed out. He begged and pleaded for me to come home to him but i really dug my heels into being strong and firm. A couple of times i thought i would give in, but didn't. He would send flowers to my job, leave sad whiny messages on my machine, he told me he had cancer and was dying, said he was interested in another girl to make me jealous, park outside my house like a stalker, the list is endless.
His abuse was only mental and emotional. If it had gone beyond that he would probably be in a jail cell somewhere!!!
Listen, you can get out. Go to family or close friends. You say you are the money maker, get yourself an apartment. Seek out a counselor. Contact The Battered Women Chapter in your area, they will help you thru this and assign you a sponser that will basically hold your hand and talk you down when you feel like you have to go back to this man.
Tho you have some issues of your own, so what, work thru them. You already took the first step here. You see the problem and you want out, you have accepted that there is a hugh problem, and want to fix it. So fix it!!! You can't say you don't know which way to go, i just told you. The battered women chapter will help to set you up in safe housing where Mr. Macho won't find you. If he is on the lease to your apartment with you, you can now break your half of the lease without being sued for your remander of the rent. A law was recently passed saying that if the lease holder is in an abusive or life threatening situation, they can legally get out of the lease with no reprocussions, the other person on the lease will be left holding the bag.
Stop lowering yourself and looking so damned needy. You are feeding him exactly what he thrives on, your sadness and pain gives him some kind of a ridiculous rush. Lots of weirdos get off on seeing others so sad, and they seem to love it when that person begs and grovels at their feet like a whipped puppy.
Where is your GIRL POWER??? There is no such word in a women's vocabulary, the word is, can't. Yes you can, i did it without a freakin job no less. Sad to say i high tailed it to Social Services and they helped me until i found a job, and i had baggage as well. Three kids and a cat and a car that sucked monkey balls!!! Once i got the job, i got stronger and he hated the fact knowing that i was working and didn't need him, that's when he really turned on the tears.
So, come on, knock it off. Pull yourself up and make the move. Get on the phone and start to make arrangements. You will live, trust me. Everyday will get easier until the day when you can honestly look him in the eyes and tell him to F*** off.
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