Breaking up with alcoholic boyfriend... abusive...needing support

Im mourning my abusive ex...he told me today he has three girl friends and im a w****.....its always manipulation and i got very sick too and am a codependent mess....ive been posting on here years about my situation

I feel your pain. I just broke with with mine today. Its so sad, but i needed to jump off the train wreck. Its so hard the way they can twist everything and make you seem like the crazy one. Remember you deserve better, someone who will cherish you not try to bring you down

Hey guys I know things are incredibly difficult my aunt is going through the same thing after years of mental emotional and physical abuse with a jerk husband who cheats on her all the time and make her feel like worthless sh*t it's terrible

Hi ive just been scouring the net for the answer to the same question, i too fit the co dependant issue and indeed some of the replys have helped . Ive been with my ex four years 3 months into it the cycle of trauma began , weve been apart several times for i could take no more and each time ive taken him back , listened to the sorrys i can change etc he joined aa and i was told its all because of the alcohol it was also used as a reasonable excuse each time his behaviour or general daily control problems showed up which never really subsided for any lenght of time, ive had to involve the police yesterday to have him removed from my home again. Yes i did say again! Now the real problems begin im sitting here an emitional wreck my stomach is churning and i miss him ?? I dont trust myself at all im already feeling guilty the what if's have started i feel guilty for the pain im causing him what the hell is wrong with me ive had nothing but emotional torment lies and excuses and completely controlled yes we too had moments of sumbline happiness though fleeting they were, . So im going to go see my doctor and hopefully get counselling of some description to help me understand me ans get some who i used to be back, i know i cannot allow my self to do this one more time but frightened i am..

I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend and still miss him terribly. We dated 1/1/2 years and for the first year it was pretty much great. We both did drink but it wasn't until he started really drinking to excess that it imploded. I couldn't/didn't want to keep up with his drinking so let him continue until he passed out. Talk about a romance buster! Before you know it we were not sleeping in the same bed...he either passed out on the couch or slept in the other bedroom because of his snoring. He is depressed, anxious and feels like nothing goes right for him. I tried my best to raise his spirits and keep him positive. His emotional/verbal abuse was opposite of what you ususally think about. He talked down about himself and put himself down..then I brought him back up. (tried too) He said things like I would be in a better place without him, he was just pulling me down. I finally broke up with him for the 5th time in August. Withink weeks he is dating someone else and made the remark "she is better suited for him and gets him better". Seriously??? All I can think is she has no idea who and what she is dating. It still hurts like Hell though. I loved him and he broke my heart.

I've just came across this and I can't believe it's the same as me I've been in a 10 year relationship with the most selfish man I've ever know but somehow can't let him go I'm only 27 and my hair falls out and am never happy, two weeks ago it came to a head when I found out he cheated and he came up stairs and assaulted me then took overdose , he is not allowed near me or out child but he is on phone telling me I'm his world he loves me and is getting help I'm just terrified it happens again wich I'm certain it will :(

You are perfectly normal to feel this way. I felt this way. I lived with my alcoholic boyfriend for two years and 50% of the time was pleasure and the other half pure hell. I came to a point when I was tired of not having peace of mind. Plus he made I lot of irresponsible financial decisions and blew a lot of money on booze and alcohol. Furthermore, he would often loose items such as cell phones, house keys, his wallet on a normal basis from being so drunk and not focusing. I felt so free once I made the decision to let go. Even though it was emotionally painful, I will never go back to living a life in bondage. You deserve peace of mind. You didn't decide to drink - he did. It's his problem, so let him deal with it. Both of my grandfather's were drunks so I guess broke the family cycle of attracting alcoholic men. After my grandfather passed my grandmother said that after 50 years of marriage the only (emotional/mental) rest that she ever got was after my grandfather died. He put her through that much turmoil. I refuse to be like that. Get out and get out fast.

Get out fast!

Hi there I am currently going through a similar situation and was wondering since it has been a year from your incident how things played out?

I will pray for you if you pray for me too as I am in the same situation

I have been with my boyfriend that is an alcoholic and he knows it. Hes been in many programs but haven't helped. I have a 3 month old and don't trust him with her when he's been drinking 18 beer. I need some advice I don't know how to tell him to leave. He uses stupid things against me. Says only one 6 pack and it turns into more. I know I am an enabler. Help me please.

I've been going to Al anon meetings and highly recommend it, it's helped so much. I had the police take away my abusive alcoholic boyfriend and immediately regretted it and missed him. I waited until he was sober (took him a week of self-destruction before he could take no more) and called him, we talked and talked and we're going to try to make things work. we both agreed he needed time to make things right for himself, he was trying to find his own place and he had a job interview coming up for a really good job but 23 days ago he went to sleep on his dad's couch and didn't wake up... So my advice to you is go to Al anon meetings, learn to love and take care of YOURSELF before anyone else because of your a mess you won't be able to help your child or the alcoholic in your life. x good luck

Reading all of these are helping me realize that I am not crazy.  I have been dating my boyfriend since end of August, almost 6 months.  This short amount of time has been a whirlwind of good and terrible.  He tells me that I am a terrible parent and my child is the worst(My child is 6 yrs old).  He has a daughter, but she was taken away from him because of his drinking.  He says his daughter is such a great kid, because he is such a good parent and he wants to help with my son.  He gets angry that my ex husband and I work together to make sure all of our son's needs are met.  He wants to be the one to communicate with my ex and does not want me to have any contact with him.  He gets angry if my ex comes inside the house when picking up my son.  Obviously we argue about these things, because I think it's ridiculous.  He says that me not cooperating forces him to drink.  When we first met, he never led on that he had a drinking problem.  I found this out in January when we returned from a trip to meet his family and daughter.  My son and I were both sick with the flu for a week and he said that he drank because I didn't have time for him.  He wanted me to leave my son with a sitter, so I could go spend time with him.  He drank a liter of vodka, then was violently sick for the next few days and said I needed to take care of him since it was my fault he drank.  I have been wanting to end things with him for a while now.  The last time I tried, he made me think he was going to do something to himself.  I stupidly took him back and when I wanted to talk about that comment, he said he never said that.  He blew up at me yesterday, because I was not responding to his text quickly enough(I was in a meeting at work).  I told him that I could not handle the up and down of this relationship anymore.  He told me all kinds of terrible things about myself and my child through text and calls.  Now this morning he sent a text like none of that ever happened.  I have not been responding.  I feel bad for him, but I have to do what's best for my child and myself.

Omg this is me he blames me as and tells lies to his friends and family, he won't lete read what I want, watch what I want, says being a vegan makes me a delusional, I'm getting over a broken boxer's fracture and I still have problems using it it takes almost an hour in the morning for me to get it to even move to even start to look for a job and he says well if you watch shirk tank then how come they haven't taught you to get a job you lazy ass it hurts

He lies come here when, I get paid uses the money for beerand that's my unemployment money and he will go through sometimes two cases a day and be so crazy when he's talking that my neighbors will witness this and tell him and he will say no its not me its her its her and then he always puts his clothes on no matter what the weather and he walks out and he never pays for anything he promised he acts like anything he does he should be commended for and he does nothing but call me names all the time