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Recently, my girlfriend of about 6 months, asked me if i masturbate while watching porn and i obviously responded with a yes. We're both old enough to know that everyone masturbates and that is a pretty normal action of teenage/highschool boys. She however, felt that it is offensive and degrading if someone masturbates while in a healthy relationship. I've never really heard of anyone thinking like this, or atleast ever being so upset by it. She constantly cried when she found out. I don;t even know what to say. I told her that it was a normal practice, and that it has nothing to do with her or our relationship or anything. She doesn't seem to understand. Obviously I'm not going to stop, and im not going to lie to her....what should i do?

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Look, to be honest I’ve been thinking like that until recently. What made me think differently was an honest talk with my male friend who told me that these two things are separated, and that having sex with his girlfriend, who he adores, has anything to do with him watching porn and masturbating.

Actually I wasn’t taking it that seriously like your girlfriend did, and I would watch porn together with my boyfriend, but would be offended at times when I would realize he would be doing it without me. So, I can relate.
I think that she has a problem understanding and you need to be calmed and tolerant about her not-understanding and try to explain. It is the right thing to do. Don’t be offensive or anything, just explain the two different feelings,..or whatever!


You could even ask her to watch a porn with you, or tell her that you would love to see her masturbating, or ask her if she would want to watch you. You need to make her feel comfortable about these things and both yours and her sexuality.

This is at least how I see things now! Good luck! Let us know how things worked out!
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i was upset when my boyfriend told me that he watched porn and masturbate....so me and him talked face to face and some how agreed on us getting alone together and masterbating together...i didn't really like the idea at the time...but i found my boyfriend liked it better when i was watching...so just ask if she is so offensive about if she would come and maybe watch some porn and HELP you masterbate
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k, if your masterbating, your probably doing it for a reason, she isn't doing anything to relieve your sexual tension, so why should you stop, whenever i get a girlfriend i don't masterbate, but thats just cuz the girls i date don't like that kind of stuff.
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Alright kiddo... before I lash out, I'll worn this is a very sensitive topic to me.

Here's the thing... porn is pretty offensive in and of itself, to almost any girl.
I think really the one who doesn't understand is you. Watching porn wasn't normal before some douche bag started to advertise it, it was perverse and very taboo. Sometimes it still is but boys seem to think "every other guy does it, why can't I?"

Because it's disrespectful and immoral to be watching OTHER COUPLES that aren't even actual COUPLES (even Lesbo porn if that's what you're into--which also is fake, by the way), or women masturbating by themselves while you're in a relationship. Sex, to me, is a very personal thing and you're not supposed to flaunt it around. You should be getting sexual gratification from HER or from your MIND, not from two plastic re****s in front of a camera.

BUT THE MAIN POINT HERE IS:

She's offended because you're pleasing yourself to other women. Women are givers, naturally. They like to supply for their men, and you're not giving her that opportunity.

My advice: quit the porn (not the masturbation), or watch it with her (if she's stupid enough to like it).
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This popped up on google, and I felt the need to respond. Hopefully I'm not too late.

Don't listen to the post above me. You have nothing to be ashamed about--nothing--when it comes to watching porn.

Notfortheworld says that, once upon a time, porn was "perverse" and "taboo." The fact is that this is patently false. Porn has been around since ancient times; there are ancient Greek murals depicting people having sex. People have always been curious about sex, and there's nothing wrong with that. Porn is simply more available today than has been in the past. People themselves have not changed.

Second, this person states that porn is immoral. That's not an absolute rule, it's a personal opinion. What this person is trying to do is guilt-trip you into believing you are a bad person for watching porn--and she's doing it just to get HER desired behavior out of you, not yours. Choose for yourself what you feel is right.

It is not disrespectful or immoral to watch other couples have sex when they are VOLUNTEERING to do so. It's not like you snuck into someone's room to watch them have sex. You are watching two consensual adults in front of a camera, and they are doing it because they enjoy it. You aren't hurting anyone.

Third, your girlfriend is upset because SHE does not understand what you're doing. She thinks that you are masturbating to porn because you aren't satisfied with her. As a guy, you know that nothing could be further from the truth.

Jerking off is an important component of a man's health, and you need to make your girlfriend understand that. She simply cannot be there every time you need relief. The porn is simply a medium that makes it easier for you to masturbate, and nothing more. If she isn't willing to understand, she needs to get over it. No matter what she wants to believe, EVERY man watches porn--even the most loyal and loving husbands.

She can't pretend that because you are dating her, you all of a sudden aren't allowed to be attracted to other women. Attraction is not an emotion that can be repressed, certainly no more so by men than by women. It's how you deal with attraction that makes you a loyal boyfriend.

She may be offended, but she is wrong and self-centered to be this way. She has nothing to be jealous about, because porn does not change the way you feel about her. What would she say if you told her to stop using her vibrator? Are YOU offended by the fact that your girlfriend masturbates, as all women do? I didn't think so. She shouldn't be either.

Oh, and lesbo porn isn't "fake," for Christ's sake. Guess what kids, that's what lesbians do in real life. And believe it or not, some of them do it on camera. This person is so clueless about sex, it's insulting.
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And one more point, since I evidently can't edit my post. The post above says to only masturbate with your girlfriend or your mind. Well, what's the difference between watching porn in your mind and watching it on a computer screen? That's right. There isn't any.
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I think your girlfriend has a right to be upset because I felt the same way when I found out that my boyfriend was doing it. If you cant masturbate to thinking about her than you dont belong in a relationship. Looking at other naked women is very disrespectful and to anyone who posted that its a natural thing for a male to do its not because for some reason everyone thinks this is a mans world and its okay for guys to do things but now women. Think about this what if your girlfriend was to sit at home every night in bed and watch a guys jerking off every night on the computer. How would you feel? My boyfrriend sure didn't like picturing me do that. It makes you feel like your worthlless sexually to your partner. Theres so many blogs about how porn for guys is not a bad thing when your in a relationship but if a girl goes out and JUST dances with a guy or something its TERRIBLE. How is it okay for a guy to stare at naked women and masturbate to it but a girl can't dance with a guy? I think they are both wrong to do when your in a relationship but why is it always okay for a man but not a woman. Unbelieveable
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wow this is similar to my situation with my girlfriend of 6 months. i am 22 she is 19 we are both attractive people. when i was single i masterbated all the time now that im in a relationship ive cut back. we have not had sex yet and she is still a virgin i am not. she is a very beautiful girl who i love very much but sometimes i want to still do that. ive told her ive done it while being with her but she assumed i meant by myself with no porn. She was over last night and after spending a good portion of the day with her we watched a movie. within 5 minutes there was a couple having sex and my g/f started hiting me up with questions like "is this what porn is" and after i replied yes she asked"is this what you like" which it so happened that i didnt so i answered no but the she hit me with "when was the last time i looked at porn" so i told her around 3 weeks ago and she fliped out wanting to see what i was looking at. i gave in and told her to go look in my bookcase where there was an old playboy from over the summer given to me as a present. she made me show her the photos i jerked off to and then she made me take her home. i talked to her for about an hour outside her house where she told me she how i didnt want to be with her, which is not true at all, and after telling her that several times she continued to not belive me. she finally said she would give me a second chance but today i took her out to lunch and she didnt talk to me. i asked her what i could do to make her happy and still nothing. then in a moment of silence it errupted "how could you do this" and "why am i not enough" and even when i explained that the photos were just for stimulation she wants to know why i dont do it to her pictures. she wont let me call her beautiful anymore its that bad. What girls dont understand is guys have to masterbate. every guy does it and most start at a young age. if a guy cant admit to this then he is not being truthful. when a guy does that it is a different feeling because he is completely comfortable and knows how to please himself. its different feeling all together. but i would never choose it over her. i wish i could be completly satisfied with her but im not at this point. girls who get this upset have extreme self image issues or consider this a form of cheating. my girlfriend is so insecure that she gets mad if she sees me leave a comment to a female friend on facebook. girls just accept that guys do it andand do it while looking at other girls. its not because we dont love you or we want other girls its because we are weak people. i love my girlfriend so much and because i was up front with her we will never be the same.
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I find it funny that my gf and i had a discussion about this earlier today. on one hand i can see why girls can be offended. on the other hand (no pun intended) i see why guys masterbate to porn.


What girls need to understand is that guys who watch porn and materbate KNOW they are watching porn and masterbating. Guys detach themselves from reality and masterbate in a FANTASY world. We know it is not real! porn stars FAKE it! this is only my opinion but i feel that guys masterbating to pornography is comparable (as a male version) to something like when girls fantisize about marrying a rich guy. They know that even though all their little desires may be taken care of, it is not as practical as marrying the RIGHT guy. We guys dont want to have sex with these porn stars, we just wanna escape reality for 10 mins.

my girlfriend, as far as i know, does not mind. as a matter of fact, sometimes before we have sex, she likes to watch porn (not hardcore but still porn) with me. we see others doing it in positions we have not tried before and when we try them it is ALWAYS a positive experience. we usually watch one video for three mins before we get right to it!

BELIEVE IT OR NOT when i am looking for porn, i actually look for girls that somewhat resemble my gf. i am so attracted to her body type. i am iffy about telling her this bc i dont know how she would react.

the best advise i could give would be: be honest to her. tell her and see how she feels about it. i have no emperical evidence to back this up but i would guess that a majority of girls probably dont care. some might and others might wanna join in with you!

some guys may feel that it is a private issue not to be shared with your g/f. what girls need to understand is that GUYS ARE MORE PRIVATE CREATURES THAT YOU ARE!!!!!

i read that the average woman can keep a secrete for only 47 hours and the average man keeps 75% of all information presented to him privite forever. (Google it)

in closing, although i can see your consern girls, trust me.......its not that big of a deal!

sorry if i offended anyone, it was certianly NOT my intention
-brent
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Theres all these thoughts about porn and masterbateing being right or wrong but really all you need to do is be open to her talk to her (unless she dumped you already and this is a wast of time)about the subject be open show her you care and porn isent gonna change how you feel about her because thats probabally how she feels or an even better idea is show her this page don't ell her you made it but say you where serching the web and found this.It will show her the many points about this and most likely change her thoughts (Oh and masterbateing is healthy for males because the male body makes sperm and keeps makeing it and evenchually it's gonna squirt out and some sperm cells die inside and it leaves a chemical that kills other sperm lowering your sperm count)
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dude just fap... who cares... I am trying to figure this out myself. I have a girl that I am in adoration for and I don't know if I should fap to spankwire...or to images of her... in all honesty... why should it matter? Will I be less attracted to this beautiful woman? don't think so...Will the change in "scenery" help me stay healthy and not bored during sex? I think it might... you could change up sex only so much...y'know? but in the end itg comes down to this... do you really think it's right? I have no clue...
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GUYS..grow a pair! If your girls think they can control every aspect of your life now, it will only get worse. And as long as you cave, she knows she has the power. The best explanation is that this is a time when you can quickly get satisfaction, And when your alone, the only person you are pleasing is you. It's ME time! When your with your partner tell her you concentrate more on making her happy, than taking care of yourself. Unless you cum and roll over and don't care if she has. I personally like written stories, your mind can produce much more stimulating images than you can look out in a mag.. Your thinking about what you like and how you picture it .I do look at pictures and videos, but it is always better when I am ready a great story.And she can't complain if your reading a book.. If your having sex , get it over with and get up, tell her your not masturbating, and your statisfied. I think she will want to discuss it more when she isn't getting pleasure. How many women like when you go down on them, but act like it's a dirty,nasty thing to do it to you. Fair is fair! Or everytime you want to jek off, call her and tell her she needs to get there, she may do it once, but a few times a day and she will tell u to do it yourself! Stand your ground, I was screwing 7 days a week, and still did it 3 or4 times a week.
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Me and my girlfriend really had a good times reading this thread.

The argument that was used almost everytimes, was that men HAVE to masturbate! I'm not saying it's not true, but this is just a way to avoid to explain the real thing. Just a shortcut not to explain why YOU do it. A way to impose it and not discuss it.
If you like to masturbate, fine, but don't say you can't live without it otherwise the world would fall appart.

Some girls, from what we've read, seems to be upset about their boyfriend looking at other girls. It may come from thinking their bf aren't satisfied of their sexual relations, which is not necessarily true. I will give you an example from my personal life. I watched a lot of porn since I was virgin for a long 23years. I got bored from porn. But I enjoy sex with my gf. It's 2 different world for me. I still watch porn occasionnally because I like it. It's just different. No one is being cheated. I do not replace sex with my gf for porn.

As long as your girlfriend has priority over porn, where's your problem?!
I think that sex is something fun, and everyone should keep that in mind while doing it. Talk about it, be creative, if you feel comfortable enough, invite her to watch it with you. Have fun, sex suppose to be fun. Be open minded, the key is to talk about it.
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I came across this topic and have a similar question that perhaps can be answered with some of the opinons posted.....I am in and have been in a relationship for 3 and 1/2 years...today I walked in on my boyfirend masturbating and when I asked what he was doing he totally lied and tried to hide the fact that he got caught...so i figured before i freak out I would give him the chance to explain it and basically tell me the truth but he continued to lie een though I SEEN what he was doing then he laughs and says "why would I tell you sich a personal thing?"..I was saddened hurt and offended by the answer and the whole situation for that matter....I am alwaysasking and wanting sexbut for whatever reason i am always turned down because he is tired so thats where my wondering starts...is this why he is always tired? whats wrong? is there something I am not doing?
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