I may be able to shed some light on this.
The "purpose" of a wet dream is to release some of the excess build-up for sperm and semen.
That's WHY it happens. You have the cause and effect reversed.
If ANY man or boy doesn't masturbate or have sex for about two weeks, his body will eject the excess material in what we call a "wet dream". This is pretty much uncontrolable. And the images or dreams or feelings associated with it are totally out of our control.
So I wouldn't feel too bad about your body craving release, whether by wet dream or by masturbation.
You also need to know that 95% of all men masturbate (even those who are married or in a relationship).
The other 5% are telling fibs due to shame, religious doctrine, or false teachings. Only a fraction of a percent DO NOT MASTURBATE. There are a few, but they are far and away the minority.
So, though many will tell you it's a sin... or that you should feel guilty... or that you should want to... or that you're failing if you do....
etc...
the fact of the mater is that we are human... we are sexual beings... and we are programmed with sexual instincts.
It's how we ACT upon these matters and what we value that defines us. Not the fact that we have these desires.
I hope this helps you all, guys.
Don't worry. Just keep your eye on the prize... ;-)
The "purpose" of a wet dream is to release some of the excess build-up for sperm and semen.
That's WHY it happens. You have the cause and effect reversed.
If ANY man or boy doesn't masturbate or have sex for about two weeks, his body will eject the excess material in what we call a "wet dream". This is pretty much uncontrolable. And the images or dreams or feelings associated with it are totally out of our control.
So I wouldn't feel too bad about your body craving release, whether by wet dream or by masturbation.
You also need to know that 95% of all men masturbate (even those who are married or in a relationship).
The other 5% are telling fibs due to shame, religious doctrine, or false teachings. Only a fraction of a percent DO NOT MASTURBATE. There are a few, but they are far and away the minority.
So, though many will tell you it's a sin... or that you should feel guilty... or that you should want to... or that you're failing if you do....
etc...
the fact of the mater is that we are human... we are sexual beings... and we are programmed with sexual instincts.
It's how we ACT upon these matters and what we value that defines us. Not the fact that we have these desires.
I hope this helps you all, guys.
Don't worry. Just keep your eye on the prize... ;-)
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What if your a girl? Is it a sin then, because your not makeing sperm? Ive been looking everywhere for this answer, i also have a problem with this. I also feel bad every time i do it. Its not only boys who have this problem.
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The first thing you must do is not feel bad. Some say you shouldn't feel bad because what you do is normal. You decide if it is normal or not but even if you decide it is not the first step to ending this addiction is to not feel bad over it. I can't stress the guilt enough.
God does not want us to suffer he wants us to simply learn from our mistakes. So what good are you doing yourself in feeling depressed?
Second disassociate yourself with your impure thoughts. What I mean by that is stop thinking you are the one who created lustful fantasies. You weren't! As Eckhart Tolle says, our thoughts are gifts (but not good ones). If you start identifying your impure thoughts as being given to you rather than being created by you it will be much easier to not give in to them. This is also the key to not feeling guilty.
After you've realized these two things the next step is to make stern life decisions. "I will not..." "I will...." and you know what you need to fill the blanks in to improve your situation. Trying to change via thinking is a losing game because your thoughts aren't yours to begin with, instead of trying to solve the problem with the thinking mind solve it with the aware mind.
This is no simple task because we are surrounded by graphic images everywhere and so these images are stored in the mind and used against us at our weakest moments (wet dreams) but this is why we have to make the decisions to come away from all of that and try to live a life of purity surrounded by purity. The simple fact that you want to change is reason enough to celebrate.
I will also advise you to stay away from pork products because this activates those resting lust 'wantings' which I want to again stress are not ours but are given to us. The Moslems and Jews are right to not eat swine.
God does not want us to suffer he wants us to simply learn from our mistakes. So what good are you doing yourself in feeling depressed?
Second disassociate yourself with your impure thoughts. What I mean by that is stop thinking you are the one who created lustful fantasies. You weren't! As Eckhart Tolle says, our thoughts are gifts (but not good ones). If you start identifying your impure thoughts as being given to you rather than being created by you it will be much easier to not give in to them. This is also the key to not feeling guilty.
After you've realized these two things the next step is to make stern life decisions. "I will not..." "I will...." and you know what you need to fill the blanks in to improve your situation. Trying to change via thinking is a losing game because your thoughts aren't yours to begin with, instead of trying to solve the problem with the thinking mind solve it with the aware mind.
This is no simple task because we are surrounded by graphic images everywhere and so these images are stored in the mind and used against us at our weakest moments (wet dreams) but this is why we have to make the decisions to come away from all of that and try to live a life of purity surrounded by purity. The simple fact that you want to change is reason enough to celebrate.
I will also advise you to stay away from pork products because this activates those resting lust 'wantings' which I want to again stress are not ours but are given to us. The Moslems and Jews are right to not eat swine.
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I don't feel people understand wet dreams. But I feel I understand a bit more than you.
We have wet dreams compliments of incubi and succubi that steal energy. As long as we think we are creating these "out of control" images in wet dreams we will continue to be duped. How do I know this? Because when I stopped masturbating I had 3 wet dreams except they weren't wet - I didn't ejaculate anything. Why? I decided to take back my own mind's eye and wake up.
The body absorbs unused semen so why are we now saying the willful spilling of this same semen in wet dreams is supposed to be happening? Which is it? Are we to reabsorb or to spill? Does our body want it or not?
To say wetdreams are natural, while it makes sense to those who haven't experienced what I have, can't be completely true. I'm sure it is very difficult to stop masturbating for us men but it becomes almost impossible when we associate out of control lust with ourselves. But it is even possible to control these wet dreams. That is the power of the disciplined mind.
We are sexual beings but we are also creative beings and we can use our power of creativity to change anything we conceive.
We have wet dreams compliments of incubi and succubi that steal energy. As long as we think we are creating these "out of control" images in wet dreams we will continue to be duped. How do I know this? Because when I stopped masturbating I had 3 wet dreams except they weren't wet - I didn't ejaculate anything. Why? I decided to take back my own mind's eye and wake up.
The body absorbs unused semen so why are we now saying the willful spilling of this same semen in wet dreams is supposed to be happening? Which is it? Are we to reabsorb or to spill? Does our body want it or not?
To say wetdreams are natural, while it makes sense to those who haven't experienced what I have, can't be completely true. I'm sure it is very difficult to stop masturbating for us men but it becomes almost impossible when we associate out of control lust with ourselves. But it is even possible to control these wet dreams. That is the power of the disciplined mind.
We are sexual beings but we are also creative beings and we can use our power of creativity to change anything we conceive.
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How can you want to stop masturbating? it feels great. I looked up some stuff and people will actually pay for treatment of this. That is stupid, pay for something that feels great to stop. masturbating is free and awesome!
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It's a problem, only if you perceive it that way.
If you buy into the puritanical teachings that our feelings are bad, and our bodies are sinful, you're on the road to a guilt complex.
The more enlightened approach is that masturbation is normal and healthy if practiced in moderation. Not excessively compulsive.
I disagree with those who have posted here that it is a sin. I feel it just isn't socially acceptable behavior in most circles.
For those who talk about being able to control their disciplined mind, more power to you. But I've never been able to control my dreams at night. I just go for the ride and realize it was a dream when I wake up.
I don't think we can control our subconscious mind, though there are ways to plant suggestions.
But this is just me speaking. I'd like to hear from an expert on the subject.
If you buy into the puritanical teachings that our feelings are bad, and our bodies are sinful, you're on the road to a guilt complex.
The more enlightened approach is that masturbation is normal and healthy if practiced in moderation. Not excessively compulsive.
I disagree with those who have posted here that it is a sin. I feel it just isn't socially acceptable behavior in most circles.
For those who talk about being able to control their disciplined mind, more power to you. But I've never been able to control my dreams at night. I just go for the ride and realize it was a dream when I wake up.
I don't think we can control our subconscious mind, though there are ways to plant suggestions.
But this is just me speaking. I'd like to hear from an expert on the subject.
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I'm not sure. My guess is that it is worse for boys to do it because they are losing their sperm but obviously it shouldn't be done in any case. The strain on your heart is a great indicator to use when you want to know if something is kosher or not.
The freedom Kirk offers imho is one of ignoring of the warnings of the heart but why have freedom in ignorance when it is possible to have freedom in awareness? You may have to work harder for this awakened freedom but is it not worth it?
Awakened freedom is possible but as always the choice is yours.
You've never been able to because you never tried and you don't try because you don't think it is possible and you don't think it is possible because you don't know what dreams are. Neither do I (completely anyway) but when you are a lucid dreamer you will certainly know about them more than the average person. You should study lucid dreams and try to induce one yourself.
It is just a suggestion of course but it never hurts to learn from another's perspective using a hands on approach. But what I say is true: we essentially have mastery over what we dream if we simply recognize we have the power and seize what is rightfully ours.
Ignoring the conscious mind (including ignoring the call for purity) only grows the subconscious. But the good news is that the transaction is interchangeable. In the past we were 100% conscious but obviously this has changed; it has changed radically.
So we have two choices. We can continue to feed the conscious mind or the subconscious mind and become geniuses or animals (acting only by instinct and physical stimuli) in the process.
The freedom Kirk offers imho is one of ignoring of the warnings of the heart but why have freedom in ignorance when it is possible to have freedom in awareness? You may have to work harder for this awakened freedom but is it not worth it?
Awakened freedom is possible but as always the choice is yours.
You've never been able to because you never tried and you don't try because you don't think it is possible and you don't think it is possible because you don't know what dreams are. Neither do I (completely anyway) but when you are a lucid dreamer you will certainly know about them more than the average person. You should study lucid dreams and try to induce one yourself.
It is just a suggestion of course but it never hurts to learn from another's perspective using a hands on approach. But what I say is true: we essentially have mastery over what we dream if we simply recognize we have the power and seize what is rightfully ours.
Ignoring the conscious mind (including ignoring the call for purity) only grows the subconscious. But the good news is that the transaction is interchangeable. In the past we were 100% conscious but obviously this has changed; it has changed radically.
So we have two choices. We can continue to feed the conscious mind or the subconscious mind and become geniuses or animals (acting only by instinct and physical stimuli) in the process.
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:-D im 36 and been masturbating since i was 13. even though i have always had a girlfriend i cant stop. me and my girl have sex six times a week and i would still masturbate 18 times a week sometimes more. i cant stop! we would have sex, then she would go to work, 10 minutes after she left i found myself masturbating. once in a grat while i will go three days without an orgasm, but very rarely. is there something wrong with me?
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My Friend,
Your problem is not masturbation. Masturbation in and of itself, is not a problem. I WAS a very strict member of a restrictive church and went through exactly what you are. The guilt was so oppressive. I thought I was the worst pervert. I even thought many times, of committing suicide because I felt so guilty.
Do yourself a favor and realize this. Masturbation is NOT a sin. Don't believe those who tell you it is. They all did it too. The guilt can destroy you. Stop worrying about it. Do it when you want to and then look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that there is nothing wrong with this.
The fact that they set you up to fail is the worst part. There is NO ONE who doesn't or hasn't done this. Remember how at school when they wouldn't let you chew gum? Everyone did...cause you weren't allowed. When they take that rule away, way fewer people chew. When we unnaturally try to stop people from doing that which is natural, we magnify the importance of it and it becomes a problem.
The Bible may say a lot of good things, but you can't run your life by it's every word...for if you did, you could justify slavery, murder, beating your children, etc. Sometimes we have to use our own common sense.
Your problem is not masturbation. Masturbation in and of itself, is not a problem. I WAS a very strict member of a restrictive church and went through exactly what you are. The guilt was so oppressive. I thought I was the worst pervert. I even thought many times, of committing suicide because I felt so guilty.
Do yourself a favor and realize this. Masturbation is NOT a sin. Don't believe those who tell you it is. They all did it too. The guilt can destroy you. Stop worrying about it. Do it when you want to and then look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that there is nothing wrong with this.
The fact that they set you up to fail is the worst part. There is NO ONE who doesn't or hasn't done this. Remember how at school when they wouldn't let you chew gum? Everyone did...cause you weren't allowed. When they take that rule away, way fewer people chew. When we unnaturally try to stop people from doing that which is natural, we magnify the importance of it and it becomes a problem.
The Bible may say a lot of good things, but you can't run your life by it's every word...for if you did, you could justify slavery, murder, beating your children, etc. Sometimes we have to use our own common sense.
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Self-orgasming 2 or 3 times a day is perfectly fine and has no negative effects. More than that, get control of yourself. Less than that, get on with it!
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When you become selfless and recognize that God is the only thing that matters is when you can truly stop masterbating. When I feel the urge to masterbate I will talk to God, or dive into the word and remember the promises hes given to me through scripture. There is a verse in the bible James 1:12 that states, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will be given the crown of life which God has promised to those that love him." Understanding such promises like this is important. The scripture is like a double edged sword. It can penetrate anything. If you hold that to be true in your heart you will honor God with your life. I'm 22 and I too struggle with masterbation, but I must walk with God. He will help me through this. You can also get some accountability partners that will help you. You can tell them your issue and be as honest as possible with them. That way they can keep you in check.
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look at it this way, your still a teen Hormons and everything are running thew your body of couse it normal to masterbate alot. just take it slow and enjoy yourself masterbating isant ment to lower your self essteam it is ment to help you gain it. and masterbateing helps your testicals grow its a known fack that masterbateing can stop cancer. and the comon fluw. becouse it lets out the ban cum in your body that is th main reson for masterbating NEVER I MEAN NEVER PUT A CONDOM ON WHEN MASTERBATING.
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I want to make certain that people understand this is a site designed to be viewed by the general public.
If you Don'T want your comments viewed by the general public, then don't post. 8-|
If you'd like to protect your identity, create an account with a handle or User ID that does not Identify you.
Likewise, if you are reading this board, recognise there are people of different persuasions that post here. :$
It is not your job to change their mind, nor should you reveal information you learn about a person to anyone else or on any other board.
It is possible to post anonymously. But you must act responsibly to do so. :$
Thank you.
If you Don'T want your comments viewed by the general public, then don't post. 8-|
If you'd like to protect your identity, create an account with a handle or User ID that does not Identify you.
Likewise, if you are reading this board, recognise there are people of different persuasions that post here. :$
It is not your job to change their mind, nor should you reveal information you learn about a person to anyone else or on any other board.
It is possible to post anonymously. But you must act responsibly to do so. :$
Thank you.
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Problem? Problem? Did I miss something?
Well, if you've been roaming around here some, all y'all must know how I feel about the wonderful world of self pleasure. As far as "what if you're a girl?" Why shouldn't girls have fun too? This ain't the dark ages where I was born, anymore. Girls can and should have as much fun as boys. I envy them because I think they can have more, and they deserve it, because the world still puts them down pretty hard. :-S I would like to be able to have multiple orgasms. :-D I wish I could have an orgasm that appears to go on and on and on like my wife. o.O I certainly do not believe in a mean God who designed us with something that's so pleasurable and then says, "don't use it!" If he/she didn't want us to enjoy it, he wouldn't have given it to us.
Well, if you've been roaming around here some, all y'all must know how I feel about the wonderful world of self pleasure. As far as "what if you're a girl?" Why shouldn't girls have fun too? This ain't the dark ages where I was born, anymore. Girls can and should have as much fun as boys. I envy them because I think they can have more, and they deserve it, because the world still puts them down pretty hard. :-S I would like to be able to have multiple orgasms. :-D I wish I could have an orgasm that appears to go on and on and on like my wife. o.O I certainly do not believe in a mean God who designed us with something that's so pleasurable and then says, "don't use it!" If he/she didn't want us to enjoy it, he wouldn't have given it to us.
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Look brother, you can never do it by yourself, God is the only one that can help you. P:eople say everyone does it, but just because they do it it does not mean you should too. That "Everyone" are not going to heaven at the moment my brother, are you willing to give up your place in heaven for a few minutes of pleasure? Think about the bad consequences that comes from it, exercise, pray. You know it is wrong, so why will you do it?
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