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Me and my wife were not planning on having any more kids, i am 34 and she is 30 and we have 3 beautfiul perfectly healthy boys. My wife was using the I.U.D. to not get pregnant as we were told the last 3 boys really did a number on her back. She was in a bad car accident when she was younger and has 4 ruptured discs in her lower back and 3 bulging discs in her neck. She also has degenerative disc disease. So we were, well we thought taking the proper pre cautions to not having another baby. Well it didn't work and when my wife went into to setup her surgery for her spinal fusion the Dr. came back with the news she was pregnant. We were obviously very surprised but know god works in mysterious ways so we accepted it and started doing everything a pregnant woman would do, change her eating habits and start taking her pre natal pills so the baby could develop correctly. Well we thought everything was going good and was pretty excited that we were going in for a 25 week ultrasound 2D and went to the obgyn Dr. Okie here in Reno NV and he acted like everything was okay and then turned to us and told us we had a problem, the baby had hyrdrocephalus and developed a cork where the brain fluid couldn't enter into the babies head and just built up. This is what he told us. We were at aaaahhh!!!!! This is not what we expected after having 3 perfectly healthy boys and did no drugs so we just couldnt' believe it. Dr. Okie looked at us and told us that we needed to go home and mourn the loss of the baby because he was completely 100% brain dead. We were heart broken and left the office in tears absolutely tore up. We went home and mourned and returned to his office the next day and he first had his nurse come in and talk to us about the disease hydrocephalus. She told us it's nothing we did it just happens and she asked if we were going to be okay and then proceeded to tell us, " Well it's too bad you guys aren't 30 minutes west because they would take the baby out now so you can be done with this and mourn and move on". Immediately i asked her "What"?????? She told me that in Nevada with are laws here as long as the baby has a heart beat they will not take him out. Dr. Okie came into the room and spoke to us and told us that we could go to California and pay about $10,000 to have him taken out and that would be the best route to go. He did not tell us about any other options, even after i asked him if there were and he said nothing other than that or just ride it out here until she is ready to give birth and then we will do a C section. I couldn't believe what i was hearing. How can you truly mourn when the baby is still moving around in her? There's no way you can! The baby is absolutely destroying her back and come to find out after talking to my father who works for SAMSHA and he asked co workers and some pretty big time lawyers and they all say this is not right and i need to look into legal action after all this. Dr. Okie did not tell us about any of the options we were told about by a RN nurse i sought out at the hospital who you could tell was affected by the way my wife was treated due to her baby. She told me that this is not right. My wife is re traumatized every time the baby moves and that is at least twice a day. I have been woken up by her at 2 or 3 am to her crying because she can't sleep because of it or she had a nightmare where the baby looked all crazy and scared her. She was shun from her pain management and family Dr.. Dr. Snow was her family physician and after already getting in trouble for trying to bribe me the whole Renown hospital was blown away, i ended up in there and luckily the Dr. new it was wrong what Dr. Snow was doing to me. He took medicaid when i first started seeing him and he still takes it but after writing my medication to me one including valium and another narcotic medication that you just can't stop cold turkey after taking these meds for a few months my body became physically dependent on them,not to mention they helped my problem but they don't care about that. I have been dealing with Dr.s since i sued UPS for blowing my lower back out and i was very unfortunate to have that happen at such a young age of 22 so i have been dealing with Dr.s for about 12 years now and this Dr. did some thing i have never seen so scandelous before in my twelve years of dealing with them. He told me after a few months of taking them that since i was on medicaid and they only paid him forty dollars per visit i would have to pay him a office visit of $100 every week and he said maybe after awhile we can go to two weeks. I was absoutely blown away. I think anybody woulld have been in my spot, you see it on T.V but to be actually bribed by a Dr. was really unethethical and scandelous and this Dr. Snow has no business being a Dr. here at all if that's what he's all about and i know another patient he sees and she is going through the same thing. Believe me you would think it's easy to report a slimeball like that but it's really difficult. I have the records but i dont have him on tape makng the deal but the last time i went there i seen him and he asked if i brought the money,{Like a damn drug dealer} i told him i didn't have it on me this week and he told me he couldn't write me my meds and he knew there would be a chance i would end up in the hospital if i just stopped taking two of the medications he had me on for a tear in my left side Sciatica. He told me to go out "Hustle up the money" and come back with it and he would write me my medications. It really  made me sick i was being treated like this. well this Dr. is the first one to bail on my wife after he found out the baby had hydrocyphelalus. No Dr. will take my wife over the past month since we found out the baby had the disease. It's been a nightmare and she is now with the baby at 25 weeks and the head is at 36 weeks which is just terrible. I don't know what to do. I hurt every night for her, she hurts every night cus of the baby Nathaniel. We want to get it over and it really is terrible that if we lived just 30 minutes west into Califronia they would have already done this proceducre so me, my wife and my 3 kids can try to move on. Its been so hard explaining to a 4, 7, and a 11 yr old what is goiing on and why mommy feels the way she does. As a husband its the hardest thing i have ever went through. I have been through some really tough stuff, i watched my step father get murdered right in front of me when i was about 23 and my mom bailed on me and my sister when i was 17 and my sister is 3 yrs younger than me and my dad was locked up in san Quentin for growing cannabis at the time so me and my sister relied on each other growing up. So i have experienced very rough times but none like when my wife wakes up from a nightmare about the baby and there is nothing as a man as a husband i can do besides hold her and be ther for her but i can't fix her problem and that's what's so difficult for us men. We want to be able to always be able to put a smile on are wives face and i want to be able to have my wife know that no matter what the situation we will make it out okay, i have tried really hard on this one and it's just not the same. If you asked her she would probably tell you i helped her but i know in the end it will be here giving birth to this brain less child Nathaniel. I know its a part of us and we are having him cremated and we are both going to where a chain with a little bit of him in each of ours. It's by far the most difficult thing by far i have experienced, no parent should out live a child. I feel so bad for parents that have lost a child my heart and prayers go out to everybody that has lost somebody.  This has been a very difficult thing to write but i felt i had to share it for another father that is in the same spot as me. We will make it some how by the power of god and it's a tough battle but i have ot be the super glue to my wife to keep her from falling apart. My three boys have to see there daddy put on that forced smile sometimes. they at leeast know the truth and accept it. I just ask of you Lord to please when it is time anyday please keep my wife okay, i accept the loss of the baby but you know i can't loose her two. I can't do it so please lord my child is to you but please watch over my wife! For all the fathers out there who are dealing with what me and my family our, keep your head up and try to keep your faith,i know it's hard at times but god works in mysterious way s and whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. We have to stay strong for our wives!  Thank  you for taking the time to read this.

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wishing you the best of luck :) hope everything goes good
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