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I know there's a lot of controversy about the other "C" word and this isn't meant to spark any. If you've decided circumcision is right for your child then here's something I've learned.

After reading the latest findings about circumcision helping to prevent HIV transmission, I finally decided to have my son circumcised.

This was a tough call for me as I had been ambivalent about circumcision before though I have to say I'm circumcised and very happy with it. My wife was more against it and I saw a video about circumcision at a health fair and agreed with her. Infant circumcision appeared to be barbaric.

Despite initially agreeing with my better half, I still felt that were many health and social benefits to being circumcised including some sexual ones and I wanted my son to be able to experience those benefits.

When the HIV study came out I finally decided that enough was enough and I spoke to my wife again about having it done for our son. One source I read said that puberty was the next best time to circumcise and I felt that now he would have proper care and anesthesia plus he'd be old enough to understand what was going on.

Now here is why I'm writing this. Since this was my idea (and I happen to also possess a penis :-), it was up to me to convince our son it was in his best interest. Naturally this meant lots of literature and perhaps a good bribe for being such a good sport about it. It turns out I didn't need any of that! As soon as I said that we wanted him to be circumcised he perked right up and was actually enthusiastic about it. He had wanted to talk to us about getting it done but was too embarrassed to do so despite the fact I think we're pretty open parents. All he needed was for me to break the ice.

Our son was circumcised in early August and he's very pleased with it. Recovery was not pleasant but his doctor explained that if we had waited until he was done growing that the recovery would be much longer.

It seems that a lot of boys around my son's age who have not been circumcised for one reason or another, really would like to have it done but are too embarrassed to talk to their parents about it. Again, we're very open parents. We give age-appropriate information and I answer any questions our children may have with open and honest answers. So when my son told me he had been unsure about approaching us (meaning me) about getting circumcised, I was really surprised. I thought for sure that he would tell us if he wanted anything done. Turns out I forget just how intense the teen need for privacy can be and how delicate the subject can be.

So if you're the parent of an uncircumcised adolescent living someplace where most of his peers are circumcised, I hope you will raise the subject with your son because unless I did, I never would have known how much he wanted to have it done and how happy it has made him.

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My older brother, a cousin and I were all in the same boat as your son. We didn't know a thing about circumcision yet, but believed that other boys merely had their foreskins retracted. We hated ours and wanted so much to be like our friends, but were far too embarrassed to talk to parents about it. We have since met other boys that lived through this same hell.
By the time a boy is reaching puberty, if not sooner, he should have this information made available to him.
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I was circumcised at the age of 5 due to problems and never regretted it.

My son who is 19 and lives away with his mother he was circumcised at the age of 10 he had actually waited for me to visit him and asked me so we arranged this to be done.


A Few of years back my nephew who i look after a lot and have done since he was a small boy told me he was in so much pain when he had a wee, i knew what the problem was because it was the same for me, i told his mum and she took him up the doctors who prescribed some cream for him to rub in, which he did, the pain went away for a few months and then it came back, this happened for 3years, 18months ago my nephew on a day out was in so much pain tears in his eyes - when i asked him what was the problem he told me when he got excited and he got erect the pain was unbearable, well he was 12 and erections were almost a hourly occurence, i decided enough was enough, i told his mum he needed a circumcision and we had countless hours of arguments with her and her then partner, eventually she gave in and i paid for his circumcision here in the uk £300 , i took him and was there with him, luckily he was small enough for a plastibell device which took 14minutes to fit, daily salt baths and 2 weeks later it fell off taking the dried up foreskin.

My nephew is a different boy he now smiles more and is always thanking me for pushing his mother, he told me he was scared of the op - but once he had been done he told all of his mates at school and several of them have now also been circumcised.


Problem is we hear of so many scare stories put around and talking about the penis isnt a subject we usually discuss so most boys think its normal to be in pain or have a tight foreskin etc.

And having read several stories about aids etc..its for the best i think.
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I was circumcised when I was 16 at my own request. My parents didn't believe in circumcision, so neither me or my two brothers were circumcised when we were children. About the time I started puberty, I'd began having problems with my penis because I had a long, unretractable foreskin. I kept getting painful bladder infections, erections were frequently a unpleasant experience (and to be blunt, masturbation was more often an exercise in frustration and futility).

After two years of clinic visits with no relief, the doctor recommended circumcision--which my parents initially refused to consider. After several months of arguing, they did eventually consent. While recovering was no picnic, I am very happy with the results. I don't think circumcision is (or should be) for everyone, but for some, it is the best solution.

My sons are 10 and 8 and uncircumcised, if they need or want it when they gets older, I will support their decisions.
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I was circumcised at the age of 11, i was also in a lot of pain when i needed to urinate, my mum refused but my dad said if i needed it doing i should be done, my dad didn`t live with mum but i went there at the weekends, i pleaded with mum and she said no.

Dad kept insisting but mum still wouldnt say yes, my mum got a new boyfriend and within a few weeks my mum said i could be circumcised which shocked me and dad.

Dad wasnt circumcised but i found out that mum`s new boyfriend Dean was and when i asked mum she said that she thought at the time circumcision would affect the way the penis worked (sexually), Dean came along and proved it wrong so she gave her consent , i was circumcised and frenum removed during the big school break and it took a few weeks of discomfort but it soon went.

I am now 26 - i have a girlfriend who gave birth to my son 5 years ago when we knew it was a boy she asked me would i like him circumcised out of the blue..., i said yes, she said i thought you would say that i later found out that her dad was circumcised and so was her younger brother.

I Had to take my son private because in England the NHS dont circumcised for no reason, but it cost less than £100 and we were both happy with the service it seems to me that circumcised men tend to have their sons also circumcised i have a couple of friends from school who i know because of the swimming club are circumcised and so are their sons.
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You've decided its right for your child? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't describe how strongly I feel about this.

Only your child can decide whether its right for him. Also, there is no conclusive evidence to suggest that circumcision guards against HIV and in some African countries HIV infections are actually higher in circumcised men.

What about the rights of the child, it's his foreskin ~ why not let him decide if he wants to keep it or not.
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User avatar
Health Ace
6889 posts
I'm with kingfreeze on this, very emphatically!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That should be the decision of the person who is going to have to live with it.

In all of these posts I see nothing about any of the different types (styles) of circumcision. If I were thinking about it I would want to preserve as much of the inner foreskin as possible because it is a huge contributor to the sexual experience. I feel the penis owner should at least be informed of the choices. It's not just "chop it off and get it out of the way".

Personally I feel the decision should also involve the wife as she should have as much input as the man. So ideally it wouldn't be considered until he is married unless there is an overwhelming medical reason. To me, being like the other guys isn't a good reason for a school boy. Should your daughter have her breasts reduced just because the other girls have tiny ones? And why isn't it a standard procedure to trim off a girls clitoral hood to expose that sensitive little piece of their anatomy?

I was born into a society in the USA in 1940 where nearly all male babies got the torture chamber as a way of saying "welcome to the world, kid". My mother said NO! So I was the "freak" in the showers with a funny looking penis. I am very glad my mother said NO.

I did have a problem with a tight foreskin and a short frenulum. I stretched my foreskin by myself until it was no longer tight and my frenulum tore on a regular basis when I was first married. I worked to make it longer until I was able to pull my foreskin all the way back so the tip goes all the way to the base comfortably. I am very happy with the sensations from my inner foreskin and shudder to think of someone deciding for me that I should never be able to experience those sexual joys.

I am not against circumcision if that is what a guy wants, but it should be done after a thorough understanding of the different styles at the very least.
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i admire wt u have done
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My dad brought me up from about the age 10 and we were always very open with each other.   I left school at 16 and worked in the same job with my dad.   When I reached 20 he told me my grandfather had been circumcised at 21 by his dad and that grandad had circumcised my dad when he reached 21.   He didn't pressurise me at all but when I was nearly 21 he mentioned it again a couple of times but without any real emphasis until one day just before my birthday I told dad I wanted to be circumcised and I wanted him to do it for me.   In those days 21 was coming of age and becoming a man.  We talked about it more after that and dad arranged for me to lose my virginity so that I would at least have experienced intercourse with a foreskin before being cut.   I had sex twice before my 21st.   The saturday after my birthday after we finished work around mid day dad took me to the company medical room where we worked and circumcised me.    The works doctor supervised and did all the after care but dad did the actual cutting to remove my entire foreskin (the dr did the frenum).   My grandad was there to help support me and it was agonisingly painful but it was an enormous bonding expereince between me and my dad and in a way with his dad too.   I had two weeks holiday then to recover.   I only ever made love once afer that , many years later and I suppose it did feel different masturbation certainly felt very different before and after losing my foreskin.   I alway felt a very very close and deep loving relationship with dad because of the way I had given myself up to him.  I never had any children and I have no idea if I could have had the same relationship with any son of my own or could have done for him/them what my dad did for me.
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User avatar
Health Ace
6889 posts

WOW!!!!

I would sure like to hear some analysis of that by some trained psych. people.

 

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Boys around that age want to be circumcised because they've heard, either from older boys, from boys their own age, or directly from girls themselves that girls don't like uncircumcised boys.
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[quote]After reading the latest findings about circumcision helping to prevent HIV transmission, I finally decided to have my son circumcised.[/quote]

This wasn't your decision to make; it's not your penis and your kid isn't a piece of property. If you'd bothered to actually, you know, do some REAL research you would have found out how bogus the 'circ as preventive for HIV' claims really are.

Your poor kid. Good Lord ...
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Interesting thinking since it firstly concerns you the dad. It's about your experience, your preference, you decided. It's not "we diceided to have our son circumncised". It's all rather selfish having no thought of him first having sexual experience and then deciding. No thought of your son "knowing" then "deciding". Know and decideing would be full consent. (BTW a red flag for me base upon my experience talking to thousands about circumcision is your statement about being very happy being circumcised. This sentiment so far has been said ONLY by Jewish men. I attribut this to constantly being told how is great circumcision. Your son may also been imprinted with your sentiments. And then there's peer pressure if you're in the midwest. California has been circumcising 22% for years and sure to even less now, Bay Area is at 10%.

How can I relate: I chose circumcision at a very tender age and was happy about it. Puberty taught me how I made the bigeest mistake ever. My sexual problems started 5-7 years post circ., common for those cut later, when keratization became very noticeable with continued loss of sensation. Erectile problems at age 21. Rarely to none precum. My search for answers turnes up this: 

Intact males can have multiple orgasms. This has been videoed by CAN-FAP at 5 orgasms in 7minutes. Intact males can also orgasm hands free by doing Kegals with an erection. 

The Glans-Ridged Band Dyad:

Consider there are two levels of sexual receptors in the penis.  The ridged band is a ring of  innervated tissue just inside the tip of the foreskin, while the corona is the rounded base of the glans.  On the  top of the penis, there are more receptors in the corona while  on the  underside of the penis  there are more receptors in the ridged band.  This unequal distribution of nerve endings works in tandem to heighten sensation awareness.  When the ridged band in the foreskin is completely  removed (circumcision) this connection is disrupted and the increased sexual sensations are lost. Like going from stereo to mono.

Sexual recveptors distrabution based on the Frenular Delta by Ken McGrath:The entire mucosa is invested with Meissner's corpuscles (the nerve endings which mediate low-threshold and fine-touch sensation) which are heavily concentrated in the projections of the dermis that rise into the ridged band and in the frenulum. These corpuscles are innervated by thick myelinated axons of the epicritical sensory system. A recent quantitative study has shown mean axon bundle counts in the prepuce of 17.9 bundles/mm ventrally, 8.6 bundles/mm laterally and 6.2 bundles/mm dorsally.4 As each bundle contains tens of axons, the nerve supply to the prepuce is obviously very substantial.

Dr. John Taylor penile and heart researcher - Sexual Function of the Dartos Muscle (loosely):Upon erection the Dartos muscle tenses creating a one-piece solid skin tube, where any action on the penile shaft is transferred to act on the erogenous Taylor's Ridged Band and through its loop to the Frenulum, this action it transferred to act on the erogenous Frenulum, together the male's sexual nexus. No action on the shaft is wasted on these sexual structures.Circumcision always removes all of the erogenous Taylor's Ridged Band and part to all of it's connecting Frenulum. Having this hangman's noose of the male's sexual receptors missing no longer keeps the whole of the penile Dartos muscle tense. With tension gone, all action on the erect penile shaft is wasted to act on the Ridged Band and Frenulum. Action must be applied directly to the Frenulum remnant, if any remains. Meaning the intact has the whole penile skin area to activate the erogenous receptors whereas the circumcised if lucky has just the short narrow string, the frenulum remnant and scarred and keratinized glands coronal erogenous receptors.

Circumcision cuts off 65%-85% of the male's sexual receptors (85% when the frenulum is cut or scraped off infant). This leaves 15% sexual receptors located in the glans corona where it's overpowered by the more populous pain/thermal receptors, ratio 5% to 95%. It is this case that men report "If I felt anymore sensitivity, I think I would die of a heart attack!" (Larry David) Circumcision changes the way, means, and type of sensations felt. Circumcision sexually handicaps.

Rabbi Moses Maimonides:Over 800 years ago Moses Maimonides tells the harms of circumcision, also known as the "Rambam", was a medieval Jewish rabbi, physician and philosopher. "...the wish to bring about a decrease in sexual intercourse and a weakening of the organ in question, so that this activity be diminished and the organ be in as quiet a stateas possible." & "The fact that circumcision weakens the faculty of sexual excitement and sometimes perhaps diminishes the pleasure is indubitable. For if at birth this member has been made to bleed and has had its covering taken away from it, it must indubitably be weakened. The Sages, may their memory be blessed, have explicitly stated: It is hard for a woman with whom an uncircumcised man has had sexual intercourse to separate from him. In my opinion this is the strongest of the reasons for circumcision."

http://www.norm.org/lost.html  "The Lost List" What is lost to circumcision and what can be restored.

http://ow.ly/13HHU  "circumcised men to have erect penises an average of 8mm shorter than intact men."

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/cut-vs-intact-outcome-statistics.html  Cut vs. Intact Outcome Statistics 2010 http://knol.google.com/k/circumcision-and-human-behavior#  The Emotional and Behavioral Effects of Circumcision. http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/cansever/ Psychological Effects of Circumcision by Gocke Cansever

Considering the foreskin is the primary penile immune system, this comes as no surprise: Here's a link to studies by a Dutch immunologist verifying the immune capabilities of Langerhans cells, http://health.msn.com/health-topics/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100157237#scpti2.

For those considering infant circumcision please review: http://research.cirp.org/  Heart specialist and penile research expert John Taylor's site.

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I was in the exact position as you son. I wanted it done because all my friends were circumcised. I worried it for a long time before I got the guts to ask my parents.
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So, because 'all' of your friends had partially amputated penises, you wanted one too? That's kind of scary. If they jumped off a bridge would you want to as well?

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