I think I may have an eating disorder. I have eaten once in the last 32 days, and even then I immediately made myself sick and later hurt myaelf. I am suffering from depression just now and feel like I have control over nothing else apart from whether I eat or not, that's something that no-one can make me do. I was sexually assaulted when I was younger and it all came out a year and half ago, not through choice. I've felt very isolated by my familys response to this.
I have spoken with my doctor and psychiatrist about the length of time it has been since I've eaten but they don't seem concerned. I also told them about how I am self-harming but they also didn't seem concerned about this.
I am currently waiting on an appointment with the psychologist but they apparantly have a long waiting list. I have to go back to the psychiatrist in four weeks. I know that I can't go another four weeks without eating but have no idea how to eat without feeling a failure and that I've lost control.
I am also currently feeling very dizzy and light-headed with constant headaches. I am unsure if this is due to the not eating but i have had to stop my anti-depressants because of this.
I just don't know where to turn now.
I have spoken with my doctor and psychiatrist about the length of time it has been since I've eaten but they don't seem concerned. I also told them about how I am self-harming but they also didn't seem concerned about this.
I am currently waiting on an appointment with the psychologist but they apparantly have a long waiting list. I have to go back to the psychiatrist in four weeks. I know that I can't go another four weeks without eating but have no idea how to eat without feeling a failure and that I've lost control.
I am also currently feeling very dizzy and light-headed with constant headaches. I am unsure if this is due to the not eating but i have had to stop my anti-depressants because of this.
I just don't know where to turn now.
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Your condition is very serious and apparently was a result of early trauma. I don't think you can go another 4 weeks without eating. I suggest you drink nutrient-rich fluids such as milk, fruit juices, chicken broths, etc. to get the nutrients that you need to survive.
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@ lanny87: If you have a GP (general practitioner/family practice) doctor that you trust, he/she could be a place to visit in the meantime. Perhaps they may be able to refer you to a psychologist/psychiatrist who is more caring. I can't imagine that both your doctor and psychiatrist aren't alarmed at how long you have gone w/ out eating and about the self-harm! Perhaps they remained calm as to not alarm you. I've visited a psychologist before and I found that they tend to stay very calm even when they are very, very concerned. I wouldn't discount them completely since this may be the reason they seemed unconcerned. You may need to say, point-blank, to them "I am VERY concerned and I need you to show me that you are VERY concerned as well". With doctors you sometimes have to tell them what you need from them. But, obviously you know that there's something wrong. And that is your first step!
I don't have any experience w/ eating disorders, but have gone days w/ out eating due to untreated anxiety (treated now) and I can relate w/ the symptoms you are feeling. The dizzy, light-headed, headaches. This is from your body not having enough fuel to function properly. It was difficult to start eating again b/c by then my body didn't tell me I was hungry anymore. I started with liquids and soups then moved on to crackers, pasta, whatever didn't make me want to hurl.
I agree w/ hoseclamps on what to eat. Eat foods that are light yet nutrition filled. Try it for a week. Then perhaps add in a little heavier foods that feel ok. Make sure you keep yourself hydrated, not just water - have juice, sports drink, fruit like watermelon and grapes are good and light.
Post back and let us know how you are doing.
I don't have any experience w/ eating disorders, but have gone days w/ out eating due to untreated anxiety (treated now) and I can relate w/ the symptoms you are feeling. The dizzy, light-headed, headaches. This is from your body not having enough fuel to function properly. It was difficult to start eating again b/c by then my body didn't tell me I was hungry anymore. I started with liquids and soups then moved on to crackers, pasta, whatever didn't make me want to hurl.
I agree w/ hoseclamps on what to eat. Eat foods that are light yet nutrition filled. Try it for a week. Then perhaps add in a little heavier foods that feel ok. Make sure you keep yourself hydrated, not just water - have juice, sports drink, fruit like watermelon and grapes are good and light.
Post back and let us know how you are doing.
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Thanks to both for taking the time to reply :-)
AnonLexaproGal - I don't know if the first GP thought that the psychiatrist would pick it up but on talking to the psychiatrist he said that unfortunatey he can't take me on but will put referral in to psychologist but there's a big waiting list.
The self harm has not been a concern to anyone really. It's not particularly frequent at the moment, maybe once a week.
I was at the GP again yesterday and again expressed my concerns. Told him about being dizzy etc. and that it may be down to the length of time it has been since i've eaten. He asked why i wasn't eating, to which i replied 'i don't know' and that was the end of that conversation. He has taken bloods and is testing for salt inbalance, calcium and iron deficiencies, liver damage and sugar levels in my blood. He also took my BP which was fine whilst i'm lying down but low when i'm standing up!!
He prescribed anti-sickness tablets which will also help with the dizziness.
In reply to both-
I am currently drinking sugary juices as the sugar seems to help and tea. I've come to realise that I get unwell if I haven't drank tea all day - think it's because i'm then at least getting the milk and sugar. I just can't bring myself to eat. I know that it's because of other underlying issues etc. I need to feel in control of something. I just need them to help me before it's too late and I do some real damage :-(
AnonLexaproGal - I don't know if the first GP thought that the psychiatrist would pick it up but on talking to the psychiatrist he said that unfortunatey he can't take me on but will put referral in to psychologist but there's a big waiting list.
The self harm has not been a concern to anyone really. It's not particularly frequent at the moment, maybe once a week.
I was at the GP again yesterday and again expressed my concerns. Told him about being dizzy etc. and that it may be down to the length of time it has been since i've eaten. He asked why i wasn't eating, to which i replied 'i don't know' and that was the end of that conversation. He has taken bloods and is testing for salt inbalance, calcium and iron deficiencies, liver damage and sugar levels in my blood. He also took my BP which was fine whilst i'm lying down but low when i'm standing up!!
He prescribed anti-sickness tablets which will also help with the dizziness.
In reply to both-
I am currently drinking sugary juices as the sugar seems to help and tea. I've come to realise that I get unwell if I haven't drank tea all day - think it's because i'm then at least getting the milk and sugar. I just can't bring myself to eat. I know that it's because of other underlying issues etc. I need to feel in control of something. I just need them to help me before it's too late and I do some real damage :-(
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Thanks for asking btw!!
I'm not great, still stuck in limbo. Spoke with doctor, again. Prescribed anti-dizziness tablets and changed my anti-depressants as i refused to take the other ones due to list of possible side effects being extremely long and undesirable and that they have sedative qualities which i am extremely not keen on!!
Doctor took bloods and results of liver test were borderline...can't help but wonder if this is due to wwhat i'm doing to my body :-(
Still haven't eaten, still on juice and tea/coffee 8-| I know it's only going to be a matter of time til i end up really ill, but can't seem to do anything about it.
I'm not great, still stuck in limbo. Spoke with doctor, again. Prescribed anti-dizziness tablets and changed my anti-depressants as i refused to take the other ones due to list of possible side effects being extremely long and undesirable and that they have sedative qualities which i am extremely not keen on!!
Doctor took bloods and results of liver test were borderline...can't help but wonder if this is due to wwhat i'm doing to my body :-(
Still haven't eaten, still on juice and tea/coffee 8-| I know it's only going to be a matter of time til i end up really ill, but can't seem to do anything about it.
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Thanks again for asking!
I've had a bit of a tough time of it :-( Was diagnosed at the beginning of august as having an ED. Took really not well not too long after and ended up in hospital with dehydration and hypoglycaemia (low blood glucose). They had initially said I would be in for 24hrs for observations but this ended up in a 15 day stay as I kept hypo'ing despite being on a constant glucose drip for 10 days. We're not sure why this still happened and still aren't I'm ust learning how to control it and testing to make sure they don't get too low. I began eating again in hospital (well picking as I was told!)
Had a bit of a tough time when in hospital, with being stuck in there and depression kicked in a bit and I self harmed and they found out which caused a whole big fuss and psychiatrists became involved again.
Anyway, since coming home, things are a bit up and down. I am eating a lot better than what I was, eating once a day, most days. Still get wee periods of time where I just can't. My body is lacking in a lot of things so bloods etc. being tested regularily, have been working with a dietician, GP, psychiatrist (kind of!) and still waiting on psychologist input. I think this will be beneficial though when I recently phoned to check how long this would take, they told me I'm 93rd on the list and the the waiting time just now is 40 weeks!!!! This takes us to April!!!
So, things aren't great, but I'm getting help. I hate how much it has now affected my life...I've not been allowed to work since I was in hospital and hypo'ing isn't too fun! It's so hard to try and eat to stop myself from hypo'ing when it's the last thing I want to do! Oh the joys!!!
I've had a bit of a tough time of it :-( Was diagnosed at the beginning of august as having an ED. Took really not well not too long after and ended up in hospital with dehydration and hypoglycaemia (low blood glucose). They had initially said I would be in for 24hrs for observations but this ended up in a 15 day stay as I kept hypo'ing despite being on a constant glucose drip for 10 days. We're not sure why this still happened and still aren't I'm ust learning how to control it and testing to make sure they don't get too low. I began eating again in hospital (well picking as I was told!)
Had a bit of a tough time when in hospital, with being stuck in there and depression kicked in a bit and I self harmed and they found out which caused a whole big fuss and psychiatrists became involved again.
Anyway, since coming home, things are a bit up and down. I am eating a lot better than what I was, eating once a day, most days. Still get wee periods of time where I just can't. My body is lacking in a lot of things so bloods etc. being tested regularily, have been working with a dietician, GP, psychiatrist (kind of!) and still waiting on psychologist input. I think this will be beneficial though when I recently phoned to check how long this would take, they told me I'm 93rd on the list and the the waiting time just now is 40 weeks!!!! This takes us to April!!!
So, things aren't great, but I'm getting help. I hate how much it has now affected my life...I've not been allowed to work since I was in hospital and hypo'ing isn't too fun! It's so hard to try and eat to stop myself from hypo'ing when it's the last thing I want to do! Oh the joys!!!
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Glad you're better (or sort of better)! Sorry to hear about the hypoglycemia. Hypo episodes are so scary! I'm reactive hypoglycemic. When I ingest too much sugar (like in a soda or candy bar, cake, etc.) my blood sugar will drop. I've learned that if I follow (for the most part) a diabetic diet it has helped tremendously. So you definately need to watch out and not eat too much simple sugars! Glad to hear you're working w/ so many knowledgeable people who can help you get well.
Post back if you need pointers if you need help w/ the hypo. I'm hypo, but not diabetic. So if you're in the same boat I can definately let you know what's worked out for me.
Post back if you need pointers if you need help w/ the hypo. I'm hypo, but not diabetic. So if you're in the same boat I can definately let you know what's worked out for me.
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It's so good to find someone who is in the same boat with the hypo'ing...not that it's good that you do, obviously!!! No one else seems to understand that you can hypo and NOT be diabetic!!
I didn't do too well with the hypo's for a long time, done everything i could to fight it and to see how far i could go. Was not at all willing to accept it. I still do this at times...i suppose that's natural? Almost every time i go out to a club and drink, i end the night in a&e having hypo'd, fallen unconscious and been taken by ambulance to hospital...this drives me mad!! I am a lot more sensible about this now though over xmas and new year i wasn't...having only just found out i was pushing it left, right and centre.
I went out to a club at the start of the month for the first time since january-had 4 drinks from 4pm til 10.30pm, at loads, stoppped drinking at 10.30pm then went on to another club. 11.30pm, I apparantly was unconscious and fittiing, in the middle of the club...blood sugars were fine when tested,in fact 6.3 which is really high for me. They think it is due to an electrolyte imbalance in my body...because of the ED...but I ate LOADS that day, specifically because i knew i would be drinking. So frustrated at the whole thing.
Lanny
I didn't do too well with the hypo's for a long time, done everything i could to fight it and to see how far i could go. Was not at all willing to accept it. I still do this at times...i suppose that's natural? Almost every time i go out to a club and drink, i end the night in a&e having hypo'd, fallen unconscious and been taken by ambulance to hospital...this drives me mad!! I am a lot more sensible about this now though over xmas and new year i wasn't...having only just found out i was pushing it left, right and centre.
I went out to a club at the start of the month for the first time since january-had 4 drinks from 4pm til 10.30pm, at loads, stoppped drinking at 10.30pm then went on to another club. 11.30pm, I apparantly was unconscious and fittiing, in the middle of the club...blood sugars were fine when tested,in fact 6.3 which is really high for me. They think it is due to an electrolyte imbalance in my body...because of the ED...but I ate LOADS that day, specifically because i knew i would be drinking. So frustrated at the whole thing.
Lanny
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