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I'm a 15-year-old boy. I have had type 1 diabetes for 10 years. I'm very early in puberty, I'm a late bloomer. I had a doctor's appointment two months ago and he said I'm in Tanner stage 2, just barely started it though. He asked me if I wanted a brief course of testosterone to speed up the development and I agreed. I've had two 75 mg testosterone shots so far, two left.

Now, to the subject. During this 10 year period I've learned to accept my disease and it hasn't been a big deal to me. However, last week I read more about diabetes complications and since then I've just wanted to die. Erectile dysfunction at a much earlier age and retrograde ejaculation more probable. Nefropathy, neuropathy, retinopathy. And as having some kind of OCD, I'm always in fear and think that the worst will happen. Right now I'm scared I have retrograde ejaculation. Two months ago I was Tanner 2 and so unlikely to be able to ejaculate (if possible at all in 2?). I doubt the testosterone would turn an early 2 to a 3 in two months, but my OCD won't stop bothering me. Sometimes when I masturbate, sticky clear liquid comes out.Sometimes nothing. Sometimes a few drops of a pee-like substance comes out, but I think it's just the urine left in the urethra being pumped out. I have even analyzed my urine for semen and all I can see is some really small whitish particles. They are so small that you wouldn't even notice it if you wouldn't specifically search for them.

These all health problems, diabetes and (possibly) OCD are interfering with my social life. I'm rarely jealous, but now I feel jealous of my best friend. I mean, he doesn't have any chronic illnesses, he doesn't need to measure his blood sugars, he is good looking (I don't think about my friends in a sexual way; I can just tell that he is good looking), he usually "looks" happy and has a positive attitude to everything, whereas I look rather depressed always and have a negative attitude etc. I really hate myself for being envious about him. Of course, he has his bad sides too, but he's really supportive and someone I can tell basically everything. I could show him this post too, but he doesn't really know medical terms that well. I just hate it that I can't be just grateful for having a good friend like him.

Any comments are highly welcome. Sorry for not concentrating on the subject and sorry about my grammar and comma placements etc., English is not my native language. Oh and I should probably add, my HbA1c has been about 7-9 % during this 10 year period. Now it's about 8 %, focusing to bring it back down.

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Most likely it is retrograde ejaculation.
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sure.. ok. Ok.
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ok ok ok
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Hi, original poster here. I think I just ejaculated for the first time. At first I though it was pre-cum, but it came out during orgasm, not before and it wasn't completely clear, maybe a little whitish. Very little came out, but I think it's normal considering this was the first time it happening. I suppose I don't have anything to worry about related to ejaculation. Any comments related to the original pos?
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