Female can't cum while having sex is something wrong with me?????!?!?

Hi,

You are basically brand new to sex and the female orgasm is a complex thing. I didn't climax until much later, partly due to not feeling confident in my own body and being embarrassed about my bf seeing everything. At the same time, I have to admit that my first bf didn't really put much effort into that area. That could be an issue for you, as well. You have to take your time, experiment with different ways of touching, and you can try with a vibrator as well. Maybe try masturbating in your "free time" so you find out more about what turns you on? Then you can show your bf after. 

I can cum when playing with myself, but not with a partner, even though I find it pleasurable. I find it frustrating, but I don't mind not coming, as I find the experience of being together, having sexual activity so pleasurable anyhow. I think why I don't come with a partner, is to do with me not being able to let go, needing to feel in control of myself, and also there's this sensation just before I cum that makes me feel like I'm about to pee....and even though I know I won't, I don't trust myself, and then I stop myself from getting to that spot. Do you feel yourself stopping yourself from getting there, or do you feel you just can't? Are you maybe trying too hard and not enjoying it enough?

Yes it is normal as it is hard for a female to come and there are many who can't do it period. I would say just keep experimenting and keep trying.

It's very normal you don't have to worry about it.. Maybe tell your partner about it to work hard for it.. Anyway it's not an issue, many women don't cum when having sex but they're enjoying it..

No there is nothen wrong with you! you should try pleaseing your self see if you can get your elf to climax i knoow it sounds silly but its worth a try! i am about to be 23 and i have never had an OG until i met the my my sole mate omg did i climax!!!!!!! i never knew i had it in me lol when i came it was like it poured out of me i never knew it can happen.. well it will happen just dont think about it so much it will mess the moment up and make things not pleaseing to you or your man.. try getting in the moment getting things heated up first make love to eachother enjoy it think of sexie things well good luck ! you can try all the toys you want but nothen is like the real thing! and if your dude is so worried about it tell him to go jack off

I've posted someplace else as well, but I think this applies here.

So many people focus on the physical when discussing sex, but for women there are 2 major components to "good sex", especially with ones self; there is a physical aspect, but more importantly there is a mental aspect.

I had, and on occasion still have, difficulty climaxing. Usually, this is in part to being concerned about what I have to do that day, how I look, how I sound, how can hear me, what I'm doing, how I'm doing it, or if I'm doing it right. Those thoughts are counter productive to sexual gratification. What I've found to be the secret is to "be in the moment", what I mean by that is to turn off your thoughts about what going on beyond what you are doing at that moment. You don’t necessarily have to masturbate to practice this. This can be done just sitting quietly and tuning out your everyday concerns and focusing of your senses (smell, touch, sight, sound, and taste) for 1 minute to start with, and gradually adding more time.

Being in the moment also helps you to be in tune with your body, which brings in the physical aspect. You need to be comfortable in your own skin, and your body’s abilities to respond to various stimuli in different ways. Masturbation is an opportunity to explore your body with abandon. Of the 2 components this is the easiest to master, however, it is incredibly dependent on the ability to focus on your senses.

So far what I’ve said sound like the easiest thing to do, but it can be incredibly difficult when practiced. So, don't be discouraged if you find this hard to do. Climax can become elusive the harder you look for it, and is not the only indicator of "good sex". Remember, ultimately sex is suppose to be fun, not about climaxing.

I also want to say, this is what worked for me. It’s not to say this will work for everyone. Sex is not a one solution fits all activity.

I read but never comment, I coudln't resist the 11/2 is a great bit. Well written.

I am 22yrs old and during sex i can not cum. I've been told that it could be from medication, stress etc....but i don't know. If I use my vibrator then i can cum, but during sex I can't cum. I know that I reach that peak and everyone says that when you feel like you have to pee then your about to cum. At first I held back because I thought that I was going to pee but when I found out that that isn't case I try to release whenever i get to that point, but for some reason I can't let go and it hurts during sex because it won't come out. I don't know if something is wrong with me or what is going on, but I love sex but I try not to have it because I can't cum and it hurts.....does anyone know what the problem is? :$

You might have kidney problems if it hurts but it might be stress i would keep having sex and trying different things.

its not uncommon if u can please urself but if ur bf is inadicquit fir sex then trys with a semi ur obv don't feel turned on.