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I am 18, and I cannot for the life of me make myself cum!
I am not a virgin, and I have had amazing sex before with my last boyfriend.
I enjoyed it so much, I just don't know why I couldn't cum!
Also, I masturbate, but I still can't cum!
Sometimes, I feel like im about to cum I just keep thinking I need to pee and just hold back and try not to let anything out.

Is it normal to feel like you have to pee?
Is there something wrong with me?
Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to cum?

Please help! :-(

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Health Ace
6849 posts
I think you answered your own question.

You hold it back. 8-|

Let it loose and see what happens. Some girls do ejaculate so have a towel handy in case things get wet. :-D
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Again, you hold back. It's supposed to feel that way. I read somewhere once to make sure you go to the bathroom before having sex to ensure that you won't pee on yourself. Just don't hold back. Maybe try letting loose while you masturbate and see how it works - it may give you confidence to let loose while having sex with your partner.

:-D
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The female orgasm is complex and there are all sorts of reasons for which women can't reach climax, but in your case, I think the answer is pretty clear. You say yourself that you hold back. You might try to hold back physically, but that also means you are mentally holding back. You need to be pretty aroused to be able to orgasm, and if you're just thinking about hoping you won't pee yourself, that clearly isn't a very sexy thought and it's more than enough to stop you from climaxing. 

Have you tried peeing before sex or masturbation? That should help you know your bladder is empty. 

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Can you help me out please? :( I have the same problem :( I can't cum :( It feels great but i can't come. The other thing is that when finger myself i dont' use my fingers. I don't feel much pleasure in that. Instead i use bottles. I rub shampoo bottles or lotion bottles and that to over my pajamas. Is this harmful? And ever since i started doing this i have stopped having discharge. Otherwise i use to have white discharge coming outall the time and now i don't :( Help me please :(
Other than that before i started fingering which was like a couple of weeks back, i used to rub my vagina against hard things like bed corners and Square sink corners. It felt great but it use to hurt like crazy so my bf said i should stop.
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This has to be the wierdest thing I heard all day it's not normal to want to shove shampoo bottles n lotion bottles up you virgina. if anything get a dildo that would be the normal thing wouldn't you agree. This is jus what think

I suggest you listen to your boyfriend and stop that wierdness
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I don't shove it up my vagina. I just rub it over my vagina. I dont even take off my underwear. I am still a virgin and i have never put anything in my vagina. But thanks for the help.
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User avatar
Health Ace
6849 posts
Rubbing against those hard things seems a little extreme and if it hurts afterwards I think you might want to stop doing that.

The bottles seem to be a much gentler thing to rub on and it may just be the difference in stimulation away from the hard corners that causes the problem. I think your body will adjust as it gets away from the severe hardness and gets used to more gentle rubbing.

You say you do this over your pajamas, do you try to masturbate with your fingers that way too? I think touching your bare clit and vulva would work better with the fingers. Don't forget the lube or since you are accustomed to hard corners through your clothing you might respond better to being dry when you use your fingers.

I know for myself I like to dry rub the bare head of my penis so I don't see why there wouldn't be a girl or two who would enjoy dry rubbing themselves too. Dry rubbing is MUCH more stimulating for me.
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Hi, honey, I'm not sure how old you are, but you sound kinda young. I'm still a teenager and before I lost my virginity, I, actually did things like this, too (referring to liking lots of pressure when rubbing myself.) Yes, it is wise to not do that. You do that because, I know, it feels good, but, instead, use your fingers to rub the clitoris, because that's where the most of your nerves are so you will get the most satisfaction out of this. You might even find it to be more pleasurable.
The "discharge" that you are experiencing, I also have experience with. I believe, personally, that it is your body craving satisfaction. Don't be afraid to touch :)
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A boyfriend of mine and I lost our virginitys to each other young--age fourteen. We had sex a lot; I didn't know why I couldn't cum, but I figured I just wasn't "in to it" enough and didn't want to have sex as much as him; I just figured I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have.
At age sixteen, I took another boy's virginity who was my boyfriend at the time. We had only been dating for a month or two but he pushed it on me and I gave in, but didn't really want it. Since then, we had sex a lottttt, multiple times a day even sometimes. With him being a year younger than me and hadn't hit puberty yet, I figured it's just his hormones. But I became almost jealous. These guys can finish every. single. time. but I can't? I'm not seventeen and still? Nothinggg?!
A lot of people would comment on maybe penis size being a problem? But the guy I have sex with now, the same guy who's virginity I took a year ago, has quite a bigger size than the first. After having sex at a party in November, I know it's not penis size that matters because he was bigger than my current partner and it hurt. I enjoy the size my man is hah--he doesn't need to be any bigger because I have a small body--I can feel everything wonderfully.
In the past few weeks, I even went as far as to let him go down on me. I couldn't feel much, but I loved the feeling of just getting wet by his saliva. I'm not sure why.
When we were having intercourse a few times, I had the same feeling as you did: Needing to pee? Even though, as soon as we start making out, I get up and pee just in case things go further. The last time it happened, I literally stopped and got up to pee. He was mad and I was mad because not much pee even came out so it was a waste of a trip. But during that session, I thought the same think: maybe this is what it's suppose to feel like? So I let in to it. I felt the trickles. He slowed because he thought I cam. Nope! Just peed a bit..Please excuse me and my blushed face as I run to the bathroom.. hahah
Unfortunately, I have never gotten in to masturbation due to the fact that I cannot cum and it's a little uncomfortable for me, and have not been interested in using "toys", but one time I did masturbate and peed on myself again hahah; So yeah, "giving in" definitely is not the way to go for me hah. Idk what's wrong with me
If you like masturbating, ride on, girl. Find out if it really is a feeling of needing to pee or if it is an orgasm wanting out. If you find out on your own, then you know and don't have to be embarrassed if you pee on yourself or anything of that sort.
Good luck and I wish the best of orgasms to you hah

-Emily
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Im young and rub myself untill I moan but I can't cum it feels like I have to pee I stop then I start again after I moan because I get alittle stiff afterward
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I think that feeling of you having to pee is ur cum. Some people squirt when they cum. And it looks like ur peeing but It comes out a different place than pee :)
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Just let it loose :) Even if you think you are going to make a mess it is better to just let it go :)

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Holding it back is the main issue, as above people advised let it go and see. If it don't work then you might need some supplements to increase your clit sensitivity. You shouldn't be using any hard things to rub even externally. Email me if your plan A didn't work.

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it's my understanding that many women never have a real orgasm. This does not mean you, however. Most likely the problem is not physical but mental. Something that might be a help to you would be to control your thoughts....Concentrate on thoughts that turn you on, use your imagination, picture things that are erotic to you. Take your time when masturbating....do what it takes to fully arouse yourself...think thoughts that arouse you and do to yourself what you wish a lover would do....and for gosh sakes, don't rush it...make it last. Remember, control your thoughts. Do not let negative thoughts creep in....and I wish you luck.
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