girls point of viewand question

Hi I understand that men masterbate. But you may need to get him to a counsaler. Because you are being mentally torn apart through all of this. If he can't have sex with his wife, then why did he remarrie AGAIN. I personally think masterbating is disgusting and sinfull. But a woman has needs just as much as a man does. When you marry that automatically means to some people SEX!SEX!SEX! right? Well he needs to think about pleasing you and not himself all the time. Most of the time when a man can't get hard for his partner he is not interested in pleasing you. I know that sounds harsh but that is what it sounds like to me hun. You should try to get him some help or get him to tell you the truth about this feelings sexually and emotionally to you. Don't stand in the dark and stay sexually unhappy. He is your husband that is one of his main jobs right there!!!!! :-D :-D

Hi honey! 1st a BIG hug! 2nd it is NOT you! That he does have right! Porn addiction is HUGE in North America! It is a multi billion dollar business that when it gets ahold of someone they stop being "normal" just like a drug addict - can't be "normal" - without being high!

He has lost the ability - for now - to be stimulated naturally! "Boring sex" compared to the over the top pornographic images, is just not going to cut it for him! So just like anyother addict there has to be a cut off! And you sit him down and you tell him in no uncertain terms that IF he does not stop watching porn - and you can check his history (if he isn't that computer savy) - you are GONE! There is a reason why he has been married 3 times - he is an outright ADDICT! So he needs help - either through sex addiction counselling or by just stopping! his addiction is NOT the same as someone with a chemical addiction! So even if you put a block on the computer this is another option! He will NEVER stop if he knows that you are totally going to take it - you might be miffed for awhile but he knows from experience that you WILL come around! He has lost respect not only for you but for himself as well! Knowing that he can't be "normal" is an embarrassing problem! It isn't NATURAL for a man not to be able to be aroused by normal sites and sounds! IF he says "NO WAY!" Then you will know that this is IT!

NOW the only time I tell women not to have a showdown is if they feel threatened, IF he is the violent type or is becoming violent you LEAVE!!! OK? So it's confrontation time and I think couples counselling is in order too for this!

Good luck and healht honey! And just know it is NOT you!

thanks, we have talked about it and he knows it is a problem and wants to fic it, he is even feeling disgusted that he can't respond to me touching him and such, he is even getting to where he can't "finish" with watchingon the computer.. it is extending to 3 and 4 hours of masterbateing before he can orgasm , so is that falling under erectile dysfunction?

No that is falling under the addiction! He is SO accustomed to the stimuli, - and just like any other addict - he needs more and more and more till the point that NOTHING satisfies his craving! Thus him need counselling! He nor you should be ashamed, children as you as 10 or 11 are starting to become "hooked" on porn, and younger and younger males cannot "function" it's a TERRIBLE industry that is ruining marriages, and lives! BUT it's big business so the government does nothing about it! There are MANY groups out there and they offer individual and couple counselling! I PROMISE that if you are both committed to this, you CAN overcome it TOGETHER! Big hugs!

Bambi that was some good advice there. Somewife I hope everything works out with your husband and yourself. Best of luck. :-D

i hope so to, i am at a loss, i understand that it isn't me , but i have a low self esteem anyway and to have this go on it makes it worse, i know he tells me everytime i get upset it isn't me but after a bit it is hard to keept hat in mind, i presented the afore mentioned options to hima nd when i said if he didn't feel comfortable about the counseling , i said we could try working on it together and that would intell him tring to stop cold turkey so to speak, and he was like. " ummm i think i would prefer counceling" and i told him either way it is up to him if he wants it to work he has to commit to wanting it . he even went as far as telling me that he would understand if i found some one to cheat on him with, he would be hurt but he would understand..

He is who he is and cannot change, just as you are who are and cannot change. No one can change their
basic person.
Accept that. Step back and look at him and accept what you see and do the same for your self. If you
can accept him for what he is, and wish to stay together. Look back, all of us sooner or later will show exactly
we are, more by action than verbal. Only honest questions with honest answers is left for both of you. Then it is
judgment time. Trust your instincts. Take care of yourself, no one can do it better.
dez

Dear Somewife! He is OBVIOUSLY not wanting to stop - and to say that is intolerable! So what he is basically saying is "Hey I know! I will keep on masturbating to porn, and when you want it go out and get it! This way I'll be happy and you will be satisfied!!!"

I TOTALLY understand how you feel honey! BUT he has a BIG problem that he is not willing to give up! You need to step up the ultimatum! HE made this decision to start with the porn - just asa drug addict makes the decision to start using drugs - NOW it is TOTALLY up to him to choose! You can't lay there at night thinking "I wonder what he's watching now?!" It's not normal or healthy for you or him!

It's NOT about what makes him feel uncomfortable or not! HE is destroying your essence! Some DEEP counselling on his part HAS to be done! HE has the problem that HE is bringing onto you ALL the time! It's NOT right! And utterly disrespectful! So take control honey and KNOW that you are worth it!

o.O thank you ever so much for that unthoughtful advise Charles, it is honestly guys like you that cause women to have their low self esteems, comments such as that are not only unhelpful but very hurtful.

Please Charles if you are on here to just b e rude. Then click the sign out button and don't return. We are on here to give helpful advice not to be rude and disrespectful to people and there feelings.

Actually guys just ignore him, there is a star above his name and just make a complaint then they can block him/her! You get ALL sorts of loosers on here! So just file a complaint about him and they will stop it!