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Hi. I am a 37 years old woman, and I have been married for 10 years now. Few nights ago, I spotted a light in the main room, and I saw my husband watching porn on the TV. I was pretty shocked. I thought we were doing fine. Not have a clue how this happened. Is it possible that he doesn't love me any more?

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I don't want to be rude… But I think you are being just too much conservative. I know that my husband is watching porns all the time – in fact, I watch them with him! I don't think that anything is wrong with your relationship. It could only mean that your husband is not getting enough "attention" as he would like to. And you could easily fix that. It would be ok to talk to your husband about your relationship, or better, don't talk, just do!
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Yes I do think its possible , i dont believe my husband loves me or ever did. It started when I was pregnant with my first . He insists he does but I dont believe thats possible, especially when I found alot of pictures and videos he actually "saved" to view at a later date. I never put much time into perusing porn sites , they bore me. Apparently they dont bore him though and thats where we differ. Love is not possible, not when he put so much time into looking at other women. Even though he doesnt look at them anymore I know he wants to. Leave him if you can , i would if I could.
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breaking a marriage over porn is stupid. It's an issue that can easily be resolved by just discussing the issue with your spouse.
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Porn to women is different to men. i use to get upset when i would catch my husband watching and whackin off to porn, but i understand now that that is just what guys do. men are more visual than women, and women are more physical than men. i know he watches it and he knows that i know but i don't care anymore. i guess it's just the fact that i know im not unattractive and can get another man anytime i wanted.

i wouldn't say that he doesn't love you because he watches porn, he probably just needs a little spice in his life. Don't let it bother you so much. REMEMBER, if he can do it so can you. one day let him walk in and catch you watching some sexy man with a huge penis and slick body humping some chick and act like you don't even care that he is in the room. see what his reaction is. if he gets upset say "so it's ok for you to look at it but i'm not allowed to? What comes around goes around." maybe you two can discuss it. Or you can come in and watch it with him, maybe give him a little action while watching porn. it could be stimulating for both of you.
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I have tried the toys on a few occassions, I have even purchased the ramp/wedge combo by: *****. We haven't even used the ramp, I have done over $800 in enhancements in the bedroom. I have even done the romantic approach with candles, music etc. All he can think about is him, very selfish. We just have no sex life, it stinks really bad. I can't even blame it on he is a firefighter and work 24 on and off. He can figure out PS3 games and porn but, not his wife. I will beg him for things that I want him to do and it's been 5 terrible sex yrs. We have had sex 5x's in 2008 from Jan-almost Aug now. I work another job now, not cause I need it but to just stay busy. I am a computer techy so, I know what he does but, oh well now. This is my 2nd marriage, 1st marriage it wasn't even about the sex. It was more of he was physically abusive..anyways....I am 35 yrs old and I don't want to get married again..tears:-( he is pushing me away, he promised me happiness. We are good in all other aspects but, I sex life is down right sad! I have started to masterbate.. Funny, he told one of his friends 2 yrs ago that I was a sex fien and I only got it every thurs. I am just convinced, he would rather do anything else but me. tell me what you think about that


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My husband watches porn as well, on the internet. It used to bother me to the point where we would fight about it. He says he is doing nothing wrong. I did not agree with him at the time and had a million reasons why.
Today, after all the bitchin and complaining about it, i really don't care any more. It is not worth getting all pissy and in a bad mood just beacause hubby is looking at some big boobed chick that wouldn't look at him twice. That may sound crude, but thats how it is. I am in good shape for my age. My boobs are still perky, i am slim, blond, nice butt, no flab and a hugh personality. I take care of my body, my teeth, my hair and i look damn good. The men still notice me. I have had 5 kids, am the gramma of 4 boys, you would never know it.
So ladies please, hang up the porn thing. If he is out night after nite, hang up calls on the house phone, sweet smellin after shave for no reason, late gettin home from work...the list goes on. Then you got a reason to worry. My hub goes his way and i go mine and we meet in the middle. We know that neither one of us crosses that line, and if that ever happened, there would be a problem.
Keep yourselves healthy and attractive, do some kinky things in the bedroom, keep that sex life spicy.
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I think that some sex counseling could help. I know how much it hurts to be neglected by the man you love but it happens, every day. Sounds like hubby has an addiction and not to you. You guys need some help if you want this marraige to last. Come right out and ask him what's up. You must break the ice here as far as communication. You be the first one to bring it up and see what he says. Sitting on it and wondering is going to drive you nuts. Poking around on his computer will drive you nuts. Each time you see a site on the new where he has been your going to get madder and more hurt, this won't help you. Open your mouth and tell him that you must talk to him if this marraige has got a snowballs chance to survive.

Just for grins, join him when he is looking on line, see what response you get. You may get embarrassed a few times, but you will know. If he tells you to go away, go, if he invites you to join him, stay. Many couples enjoy porn, together.
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im a guy and porn is just natural almost all guys watch it or look at it its not a big deal and if your married he just wants some sex
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My husband watched porn on the computer and then masturbates..when I first found out about this i confronted him (which was the hardest thing I have ever done) he admitted it and promised me he will never ever do it again and said he does not want to hurt me anymore by doing this. Before this happened our sex live was not so good he never wanted to do it with me ..he alsways said he was too tired..i always showed interest though..and whenever we did do it he could never get it up or half way into having sex it would go soft..i never understood why...anyways after that confrontation i had thought that he stopped...we only had sex like 3x sine then and it's been abt 2 months now..i went and checked on the computer and found he still does it ..what do i do..i;m scared and worried we have only been married for 2 yrs and I just had a baby he is 7mths now and i have no one to go to to talk to abt this ..I don't know why i'm not good enough for him ..i don't know what i;m doing wrong..what do I di...I don't think i can EVER have sex with him anymore and I want to leave him...He can have me whenever he wants but chooses not to..I need some help...he tells me he loves me everyday and every night and kisses me goodbye every morning
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Sameeta, i have the same problem. My husband and i have been married for 2 years also and we have a 1 year old and a 1 month old. I caught my husband watching porn in our bedroom one night when i was at my parents with my son.(our bedroom window faces the road) i drove pass to make the turn and just happen to look at our window and the tv was on. I saw a pretty lady in a bra on the tv and though it was a commercial so i decided to check it out, so i parked the car and walked around the house to the window. and when i got there my husband was on the bed watching porn. i don't know if he was masturbating but when i got in the house and went to open the door it was locked, so that could explain it. but i approched him about it and he denied it at first then finally came out. I was pregnant at the time with our second. I threatened him that i would take the kids and leave if he ever did that again. Our sex life was great before all of this happened now when hes in the mood and wants to do it, i withdraw because i just feel that hes just doing this cause he can't watch his porn anymore. i don't want to be looked at like that. he still apologizes to me till this day but i will never forgive him for that, he took my trust and my strong love for him away. all i can tell you is its never right for a married man to do that to the one he loves, if he wanted to do this for the rest of his life he should have never married you, thats ADULTERY!! many people think that its ok for their husbands to do this as long as they aren't physically doing anything. but its not, it is addicting and when time comes that they want their husbands to stop, its too late. you need to approach him about it again and tell him this time that this is wrong espcially for a married man, that if he can't man up to your relationship and stop this bad habit that he has then maybe it wasn't meant for you guys to be together. you could find a better man to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. if he thinks this is ok to do then kick his ass out and get a new man, cause thats never right to do.
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Confront him. Tell him how it makes you feel about yourself. Figure out why he needs porn. See if he has an addiction and needs counseling. I have a feeling that this is something that he has done for years and has formed a dependency which has nothing to do with you or what you are willing to do for/with him. Keep us updated.



You can talk to me and get a man's perspective if you want to run somehting by me before you tell him.
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And women wonder why the can't figure men out! Masturbation is part of growing up for boys. It is something we do since the time it feels good ,usually for the rest of our lives. If you want to leave a man,break up a home and a family because your husband jerks off, YOU are the one with the problem. I lived with someone,we had sex everyday, and I still jerked off 3-4 times a week. Why? Because it isn't about YOU. It is something that is private, or not, that is intended soley to have an orgasm for the man, without the pressure of what he is doing right or wrong to please his partner.He is pleasing himself, no pressure. Many men don't have sex when their wives are pregnant, it is just something that is different , and they don't want to do anything that might cause problems.Sometimes it is psycolgical.
Did you know that ELVIS wouldn't have sex after lisa marie was convieved, even after her birth.To him, who was totaly devoted to his mother who died young, Priscilla was now a MOTHER, not just a wife. How many husbands with children refer to their wives as mom,because it's what the kids call her.Does it seem normal for him to have sex with someone he call Mom constanly.
Men sometimes do things because it excites them, something that may have happened early.An older sibling may have been seen having sex, and it was exciting, they become voyuers, not exclusivly, but it is something that arouses them. A guy may have double dated when he was in school, so he always had an audience, presto, an exhibitionist. If you tell a man he can never jerk-off again if he wants to stay married, your asking for trouble, especially if you use withholding sex as a weapon. If he watches porn, join him, offer to help him, or verbaly encourage him while he does it himself. This is now something you share together. And he is not centered on his role to please you. Tell him to do it when your not around. Try new things, men's biggest complaint is that they don't get oral sex, or that it is treated as disgusting. Take a warm washcloth and clean it first if it helps you feel less digusted by it. Many men don't pressure their wives into oral sex, and go elsewhere to get it, even from gay men.This means they get what they want, and because there is not a woman involved ,he is not cheating. And NO he is not Gay, he is just getting his release! Period. If you think that YOU are an alter that your husband MUST worship at every time he wants to get off, eventually he will stop going to church. Men feels it is just a release, period. Women feel it is a betrayal, Get over yourself. You vowed for good times and bad. Work through it so you both are comfortable with whatever you decide. But masturbation is a natural and common thing, that has went on for thousands of years, and you think your going to change that?
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Health Ace
6884 posts
Bravo, JB.
Great explaination !
I hope it gets out to all the women who feel like we're betraying them or cheating on them.

When I got married, I was open to almost anything for us to do together. My wife put a damper on that right away. :'( At some point I asked her about masturbation and her answer ended a lot of my dreams for an adventurous, fun, sex life together. :'( She claimed she never did that, and the way she said it, she made it clear that she considered it D-I-R-T-Y. >;)

You mention women not being able to figure MEN out. I've never been able to figure HER out. Foreplay is OK but masturbation is not? o.O Isn't that what I'm doing to her during foreplay? Isn't that what she's doing to me? Why is it wrong for us to do it while watching each other? If she never masturbated, how did she know exactly where to put my fingers to do her? :O She has no visible clit or even a grain of sand thingy under the skin that I can feel, so I needed help hitting the right spot. She knew exactly where to put my finger by ---- instinct? 8-|
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Any one who says they have never masturbated is lying their ass off. Even if a girl brushes against her clit while bathing, she has to notice the feeling it gives her. And a male can't keep from getting hard when you hit puberty. If they felt it and moved there hand on it, they have masturbated. If us guys had to rely on a mate to get us off, we would all be bouncin off the walls!Besides being irratable.
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