Okay. ABOUT a month ago i was the most happy go lucky person always smiling. I did come from a rough home and been thru alot with them but i was still okay and lived life. Okay a month ago my boyfriend at the time and i were smoking what i believe to be was weed(still dk what it is till this day). within minutes i couldn't stop laughing uncontrollably. i got up and i started seeing pictures instead of regular movement i begged for my boyfriend to help me screaming running up and down the halls but he didn't. he just kept panicking and wouldn't get me help like i begged him too... i also lost movement i could feel things for a second and then i couldn't anymore... very weird. my boyfriend asked me "what would you do if your stuck like this for the rest of your life" and i went crazy. i went in the kitchen and got the knife.. he snatched it from me and ran outside and left me by myself in the house. i of course grabbed another knife and stabbed myself plenty of times in head chest and legs. there was blood everywhere and i was for sure i was going to die. ambulance..neighbors..and police showed up and saved me. the paramedic said it sounded like i smoked something called "spice" and tht i would be bck to normal soon. while in hospital i was only seeing pictures instead of real life for 8 hrs straight...and i still felt very dizzy and weak i couldn't walk hardly b/c of stab wounds.. when i did walk i had blood from the staples they put there oosing everywhere. they said my pottasium was low and gave me a pill. i got sent to a treatment place where they put me on celexa(when i wasn't even deperessed). i was on it for two weeks and stopped at the instruction of my doctor because when i was taking it i had diarrhea, no sleep, foggy mind, zombie like, messed up vision. now fast forward to today... i don't feel like myself. everything looks different.... nobody understands me. i look fine on the outside but on the inside i feel like something is wrong.... i sleep but only for about 2 hrs then i have to go back to sleep again. my family looks unfamiliar to me. i feel like a robot.. i always hear ringing in my ears. i'm always out of it... i dnt like being around ppl mch anymore. sometimes my feelings leave me... i feel like a different person. very paranoid now. umm...vision still not the same.bran feels hot.. what did go away that is the dizziness and lack of appetite. other then tht i feel like something is off. i try so hard i've been exercising, drinking alot of water, eating right. talking to a therapist and psychologist. idk what is wrong with me if it is from smoking or the celexa(that i was only for two weeks). it's so hard to tell since i was in hospital one day then the treatment center the next..very close time. i know i'm not going crazy... i just want to be normal finish college get married and have kids.. enjoy life(tears)