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Okay, so here's my story. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 8 months now and we love each other a lot. I know I'm young so don't say that to me, yes I'm 14, but I've masturbated him and he's fingered me. He said he wants to move it to the next level and have sex with me but only If I'm ready. I think I am but I'm scared it will hurt and what in supposed to do to him. Basically I need to know what to do and when to and if I can.

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Hi there :) According to my opinion, coz u have asked, u are really very young to do all this. If u two really love each other than sex is not everything, love is lot ahead of all this. You should both wait and get your parents know about yur relationship.

That is only my opinion, plz dont get offended and take care :)

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User avatar
Health Guru
9704 posts
Hi mel13word, first of all I would say that if your having to ask then really you don't feel ready to take that step yet, your first time you make love to someone should be a very special moment because your remember it the rest of your life.
There are many more things to think about other than just sex like contraception and STD/STIs and what to do if the condom was to split because I'm sure that you really wouldn't want to have to tell your parents you was pregnant!
Can I ask you how old is your boyfriend?
Hope you make the right decision because that's a very big step in life your thinking of taking :-)
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My boyfriend is 15, I do feel ready and I love him a lot. My mom knows(My Dad died) and she said that If we love each other as much as we do then do what we think is right. I know it's underage and do t start me on that but I have the pill and I know we will use protection. I'm just asking if other people think it's right for me to do it, why and how.
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Its really good that yur mom knows everything, i m really glad to know that. Now that she knows everything, the decision is yurs totally...i would advice you to still wait a little bit more, not coz yur relationship just coz of yur age, u r still very young...and if u two are totally prepared for it then again the decision is yurs....

I wish u all the best wishes and luck :) 

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User avatar
Health Guru
9704 posts

Hi I'm sorry to hear about your dad and I'm happy to hear that your mum knows everything and h.
as given you her blessing
I would still advise you to wait a while longer just to make sure that your certain if is the right guy because if really loves you if will wait for ever, don't worry about what you should do and when because when the time is right it will all come natural.
The piece of advice I will give you is to make sure your fully relaxed comfortable and turned on to make it easier and less painful, have your bf in down and eat you out for at least 30 minutes and that should help.
I wish you good luck and hope everything goes ok for you, if you would like more advice don't be scared to ask :-)
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In my opinion, being 14; I don't think you should I think you should wait a while, until your a sophmore or junior atleast because you really don't love eachother alot of my friends were like you and are now known as s**ts and regret giving their first time up for a guy that didn't love them.

 

Hope this helped.

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Your mom is a bad person for consenting a little girl to have sex. Parents these days are disgusting.
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I appreciate what you say, but my moms not a bad person so f**k off.
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User avatar
Health Guru
9704 posts

Just ignore what he has said Mel, if shouldn't post saying things like that about your mum when he has no idea what she is like. It is better to have a parent like that who is willing to listen than one who says a straight no because it just means there is more chance you in behind there back and do it anyway and probably end up pregnant because you had no one to talk to about contraceptives.
I think your mum sound really cool and down to earth and that she is someone you can always in to when you have a problem.
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Resident
187 posts

Mel, I was 13ish when I first had sex and I lost my virginity to a guy many many years older than me. It was the most fantastic experience and I don't regret it. I was scared and apprehensive too, exactly like you, but I trusted this guy and he made sure I came to no harm. 

If you like the guy and he likes you and you have a wonderful relationship together then go for it. I am sure by now, this is one year down the line, you would have lost your virginity to him.

Just make sure you take precautions against pregnancy. He is almost your age and I think you are safe from STDs. Just enjoy your relationship and if you do need sex to bond and feel good with each other then go for it. Do not let anyone else advice you or tell you it is bad or evil or lacking morals. That is utter bulldust and that kind of advice is negative and uncalled for.

Like I always say "you can never be ready BUT you can always be prepared" 

Just because you ask the question does not mean you are not ready. That again is such a bad/false statement. Just because you ask directions on the road while driving does not mean you cannot drive. You see how absurd those statements can be. 

You must not be influenced by negativity. Remember this relationship may not last. That still doesn't mean you cant have sex. Sex should not be used as a guarantee for a permanent relationship. That is what we girls are taught BUT it is so wrong. Sex can be recreational and can be part and parcel of those intimate things we do when in a relationship. A relationship is more enjoyable when there is a lot of sex. It is exciting, pleasurable and a thrill. Why shouldn't we, as girls, enjoy all those things.

I say " follow your heart" but please make sure you take precautions against pregnancy and STDs. Prepare yourself and be mature about things. 

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