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I lost my vvirginity at fourteen. I was inexperienced with boys. I hadnt kissed one 'properly' and I was curious. So when I got drunk with friends for the first time and I ended up in a bed with a boy that I've had an on and off relationship with since the start of high school one thing led to another. It lasted about a minute or two I was ridiculously drunk and he was sober. I can't remember much of it except the fact that we'd done it and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I'd always fantasized about losing it at sixteen or older to someone I was head over in heels in love with. Yet I lost my virginity to a boy I barely liked at such a young confusing age. I told myself at the time that I loved him so it was okay that I did and that if I were to lose it to anyone it would be him. I told my best friend all of this, she was shocked but supported me and hasn't told a soul. a couple months down the track I hadn't spoken to this boy about that night, which was when I started to realize how big of mistake I had made. I felt unwanted and disgusting and unworthy of anyone else. I couldn't tell my mum she would be so heart broken and shocked because we always had this honest and open relationship. then came along another boy. we started dating and he told me that he loved me, me being nearly fifteen thought that this was a happily ever after sort of thing. I already had sex, so i had given up on this being sixteen thing and I thought that well since I wasn't a virgin anymore it wouldnt matter if I did it again. I was alreadly not innocent and pure anymore. So I did it with this boy, numerous times. Protected of course. But oblivious to my parents. At this time about six months into our relationship I started feeling remorse about what I was doing and lying about. Before sex was introduced into my life I saw myself as an innocent genuine person. This hadn't changed for the people who were unaware of what I was now doing ( which was basically everyone except a few close close friends) but for me this made me feel worse about myself like I was living a lie. So I told my boyfriend at the time that I didn't want to have sex anymore because I wasn't ready and it was making me thoroughly depressed because I was lying about it to my parents. We did occasionally go against my word and have sex but very rarely but this made me more upset because it felt like i was lying to myself aswell as my parents. I started to blame everything on my boyfriend at the time and he broke up with me. this left me more depressed and shattered. I felt more unwanted and disgusting. I had noone to confide in. I hated myself but I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone why. I'd completely gone against my values by having sex with this boy. but while I was going against my values I told myself that I was going to marry this boy so it wouldn't matter. I was so stupid and foolish. I still hate myself. But it gets worse before it gets better. I then found another boy. He is two years older then me he barely looks it though. He isn't your typical teenage boy though. He's studying at university to become an engineer and is one of the most intelligent people I know. I met him 12 months ago. We've been dating for 10. Although I can say Im completely happy with my relationship with him now I can say that I'm more stupid then even I thought. Three months into our relationship we had sex a few times. Protected of course. Again I'd gone against my values and had completely ignored all the past mistakes I had made. I was still only fifteen then and I shouldn't of been doing this with my body. He at the time saw how distraught I was with the situation and how torn I was with my unaware parents and my own self. He already knew about my past sex life. So he told me that we would not have sex until I was mentally and legally ready too. 7 months later and we still haven't. After all that what I'm trying to put across is my battle within myself. I lost my virginity at 14, continually had sex while I was 15. All this with three different boys over a year and a half. I am now sixteen and slowly starting to decide whether I'm ready or not to with the boyfriend I'm with now. But I don't know how to think positively about it because I have so much negative emotions caught up with sex. I love this boy with my whole heart and soul, I know I'm a teenager and I've proven to be reckless but this boy is someone very special to me. So I guess you could say this is the perfect situation to lose my virginity to the boy I'm head over heals for. But it's not because I'm not a virgin anymore. I'm impure. I'm a liar and i hate myself. I'm not looking for pity. I'm looking for advice to help me decide what to do. Tell my parents about all the bad stuff in the past. don't tell them but be honest with them about my relationship with this boy now or just not have sex for a very long time! gah. I hate myself. Someone please help.

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Babe the first thing you have to do is relax you made mistakes your not the first person and you will not be the last !!! I dont think you need to tell your parents everything if u feel you need to open up to them then tell them only what you feel happy with telling them. And dont stop having sex! You shouldnt be punishing yourself dont let ruin your life try to help yourself get i'm sure you will be fine wish you all the best x
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this is not to reply to tell how to make a gal feel better m here to tell the gals who r depressd about loosing virginity.....i m from india n here rituals r kinda strict about having pre matital sex we r not even allowed to b in relation but tym has changed n youngsters r ignoring what we r taught m not saying its bad but the only thing m concerned of is the mentality which most of the gal posses that their bf can do anything with them jst for sake of love n even when he comes out to b a cheater they jst sit n cry thinking they r used or try to get them love again thru sex....plz i request u dont give anyone the ryt to play with ur lyf if he left u dont make it easy for him or else he will do the same with sm1else too PS- M A BOY N STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT GALS R NOT THINGS THAT THEY CAN B USED N IF THEY R USED THEN WE BOYS R ALSO USED. N NOW ABOUT BEING GETTING MARRIED IF A MAN TRULY LOVES U IT DOESNT MATTER U R VIRGIN OR NOT UNTILL U R HONEST WITH HIM PS-IF A GUY SAY HE WILL LEAVE U IF GAL REFUSES TO HAVE SEX OR SAY HE IS NOT SATISFIED THATS WHY HE IS GOING I M READY TO WRITE ON A STAMP PAPER HE NEVER LOVED U M IN REL FOR 3 YR N WE R VIRGIN N WE R NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX EVEN AFTR MARRIAGE UNTILL SHE ISNT READY AS SHE IS VERY MUCH AFRAID OF BLEEDING......I MAY SOUND STUPID BUT THATS THE TRUTH BETTER NOT TO LOOSE IT BEFORE MARRIAGE N IF U DO DONT LET ANY ONE SAY U R USED COZ U ALL R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATION OF GOD N HOW CAN U SAY THAT THE GUY U WILL GET MARRIED TO WILL B A VIRGIN HIMSELF.....:-)A GUY CAN ACCEPT A GAL BUT A TRUE MAN CAN ACCEPT HER BY FORGETTING HER PASR TAKE CARE N BE LOVED:-):-) n contact me if in case i can b helpful @ yatinvalecha.yv@gmail.com
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i really ve d same problem i got fever due to dis kinda of tension.help me
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@alyashai being a boy i can never understand the pain of getting ditched by sm1 whom u have given everything n m not gonna ask u to forget that person its nearly impossible but i assure u that loosing ur virginity doesnt make u impure or used or s*** ( pardon my words) coz sex is something divine created by GOD itself which gave us power to originating a new lyf not only this it deepens the bond b/w lover i say lovers not cheaters.....u jst went thru it to express ur love to the fullest n it doesnt makes u bad girl PS - screw them who doesnt accept u due to this coz love doesnt care for virginity have guts to say it to ur future partner that if he wants u he has to accept u as u what u did was for love may it b a malicious stupidity it doesnt mean u got contaminated LIVE YOUR LYF TO THE FULLEST:-):-):-) No one can take that ryt away from.u
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bt m worried wat if something happens to me lyk kinda aids n ol
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evreyone want to have sex but there are moments wen you got to control
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The only reason you're freaking out about this is because society portrays sex and virginity as wayyyyyyyy bigger of a deal than it really is. Losing you're virginity isn't a big deal at all. You only think it is because that's what society has told you. Stop freaking out about it, no one cares that you lost your virginity it's not a big deal at all
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You don't have anything to be sorry for. Both of those bastards took advantage of you. The first one could clearly see how drunk you were and the second one manipulated you into having sex with him. These sick f**ks are the ones at fault, not you. If this other guy knew about everything and saw how it was affecting you and still went ahead with it, he doesn't sound like someone you should be seeing. I know you care for him, but he already knew you weren't ready before, and the truth is you aren't ready now. I'm not trying to be a jackass, but I have a feeling it's going to be the same as before. You're going to think you're ready, you'll regret it, and you'll end up getting hurt again. Again, I'm not trying to be a jackass, but this is what's happened, and I don't want it to happen again. I think you should break up with him, and tell your parents everything. I know it will be hard, but I promise if you tell them the truth they'll understand.
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It doesn't sound like you want to, so don't. I think you should tell him you're not interested, and if he keeps pressuring you, break up with him. You should decide for yourself when you're truly ready.
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Yeah...I thought the same, Njoylife.

 

May sound harsh, but anyone wanting to have sex with a 12year old is highly suspect & the local law enforcement agency needs to know about him.

 

I also agree with your comment "Are you real?". This 12 year old has brilliant spelling & punctuation. If it is a real poster, then I'll humbly take my comments back, but I have noticed quite a few posts about underage sex that I think are adults procurring other youngsters to reply or possibly, communicating with other, potential paedophiles.

 

It's horrible, but it's a way of things on these kinds of message forums.

 

V

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I agree completey!
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oh but ofcourse I don't give it up that easily to guys. I have rules you know. wait a good 6 or 7 months. it's the nature of people to believe that innocence is equivolent to goodness in a women. it's really not. to me virginity, It's meaningless. If I was a man I wouldn't want a women to be confused about herself and be naive. I want her to know what she wants and to not be tired in my life, I hate drama. This life is so short for you to dwell on the past. I normally don't feel remorse for anything because what happens happens and you don't have control over the past. you just have only one choice, which is to get over it. so just realize your guilt is meaningless and doesn't change the past.
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Health Ace
6880 posts
Well Violet, the 12 year old's post is missing and now my reply to her is missing. I suppose your reply will be going away too, along with the one after yours.

Someone's getting crazy with their editing button. I imagine this one will go too.
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Well, contrary to what others are saying about this issue, I consider it a priority to comprehend why God created sex and to whom He created it. Sex is obtainable and enjoyable within marriage as God ordained it and any involvement in it outside of marriage will lead to fear, guilt and frustration; even though men and women try to convince themselves that there is nothing wrong with it and they feel anything; I suppose we should tell ourselves the truth. My dear bellasarahh, it's good that you are showing remorse for the wrong that you did and that show that your conscience is still alive. This is my advice to you dear: a problem that is shared is solved. Therefore, share it with your parents commencing with your mother because they are one people you feel guilty wronging. Not only will this restore your peace and free you from guilt but it will also enable you to stand and know that you ought not to do what you don't want to do anymore and you don't have to be a slave to this anymore. Finally, You need Jesus in your life, for only Him can enable you to overcome the life of illcit sexual involvement becasue, to me, it is slavery. When you do what you don't want to do or you don't like doing, it is against your will and it is slavery. Read this for further comprehensing: Romans 7:7-25. Remain blessed and God's grace.

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