How long will Suboxone Subutex Withdrawal Last? My Story of Recovery, Happy ending.

This ‘Thank God’ narrative is truly inspirational. Wonderful! 

Long story short. I used to live in Canada with my wife who was a smoker. In the winter, naturally, we kept the windows closed. I really did not understand passive smoking, at the time, and developed a dry hacking cough. So I went to the local drugstore and was recommended Codeine Cough Mixture. Looking back - from the first dose I was addicted. From that first spoonful, over a period of about 15 years, I got up to 90 Codeine tablets for breakfast and 90 for dinner. I will not disclose how I obtained this supply. Suffice to say - it was easy. 

My Doctor introduced me to Subutex and I was on a maintenance dose of 4mg for about 4 years. I was a carer during this time. It was thought that because of the specialized nature of my responsibilities - sustaining my addiction with a synthetic opiate was the best option (that’s one way of putting it!).

The family member I was caring for died last October. And immediately I started reducing my dose by .4mg every month or two. I finally reduced to one .4mg tab a day and had my last dose 3 weeks ago. 

Looking back reducing was OK. I had a week or two of discomfort. But I was not climbing the walls. When I finally quit - that was not so easy. For the first 2 days I was alright. Then overwhelming fatigue, lethargy and discomfort. This has all gone now. However, I still have a cloud in my head. Albeit getting smaller. I have tried to work during this time. And, have to say, made a complete screw up of it. Bad decisions, wrong actions, odd behavior. My colleagues know nothing of my history. They think I am a man from outer space!  I will probably loose my Job. 

All in all, I am thankful to have survived. Now here’s the weird part. I am still an ‘ict’. Something in me wants to be an Alcohol ‘ict’, a Drug Addict, a ‘Something’ Addict. I want to get off my face and fly. I want to be blasted to oblivion. Everyday reality is hard for me.

It is embarrassing, it’s pathetic and self destructive. But it is real. Codeine and Subutex stopped me from feeling this way. At a dreadful price.

So, I have achieved a lot - which I am proud of. It’s just that I am a little shocked, and surprised, with this odd architecture of confusion and emotion that I am left with. Somehow working this out though. i think?