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Hi everyone. I am dating one boy for three months now. He is really amazing and he is doing everything for me. We are there for each other and since first day, there is no secrets between us. At least, that is what I was thinking. I was wrong. I was cleaning our apartment a couple of days ago, and I found his medical card. I started to read it and I find out that he has personality disorder. I was sad because he was hiding this from me, but than I realized that it is not about me but him. There must be a good reason why he hasn't told me this. What do you think?  How difficult is for a person to live with personality disorder?  It must be very hard for him...

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I don't think that he should hide this from you, but again, you can't blame him because of this decision. It depends also what kind of personality disorder this is. Usually, it is bipolar disorder. Sometimes it is BDP. We are talking about two totally different diagnosis, but in both cases - it is very hard for person to live with any kind of personality disorder. 

Also, it is very hard for anyone to live with partner who has any kind of personality disorder. I am really sorry to tell you this, but sometimes you can't do anything to help this person. He can't help himself as well. 

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He didn't tell you for a reason. People who know what personality disorders are and how they affect the person and people around this person, they don't really want to be around people with personality disorders, your boyfriend must have thought that you would leave him if he told you.

There is a list of different personality disorders and we don't really know which one does your boyfriend have, however, every single one of these disorders is hard, some of them are hard for the person suffering from it and others are hard for the people who are dealing with the person who is suffering from it.

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I understand him. When I discovered that I am dealing with depression, I also didn't want to tell this to no one. I felt so ashamed because I am different from other people. So, I believed that someone will understand me totally differently or that they will talk to me like I am crazy, or some other silly thing So, that is why I refused to tell this to anyone. And it is just first stadium of depression, nothing else. It was difficult for me. I just can imagine how people with more difficult personality disorder have hard situations in their lives. 

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I also think that he should not hide it from me, because I think that I was clear when I told him that I am there for him, no matter what. But still, like Gaia told - I think that he hasn't told me about this for a reason. I don't know what to do. To be honest, I don't think that I am brave enough to fight this, especially if he starts to have some episodes in his life. I was always expecting some normal relationship, with those up and down moments. Maybe I am selfish, but I just think that I won't be able to deal with it. And if he decides to tell me about this once, I don't know how I should react.

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Sorry, but I think that you are selfish when it comes to this. In one moment you are saying that you love him and that you care for him, and in the next moment you are telling us that you think that you won't be able to deal with it. You are easy to deal with your ordinary up and down moments, but you can't imagine how he feels. You didn't have any problem with him as far as I could understand. So, that means that he is trying to be there for you, he is hiding his problems, but you can't forget him because he didn't tell you about his diagnosis? Selfish, if you ask me. Meanwhile, he is not selfish...

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I think that you got this a bit wrong. You have been dating for 3 months and now that you saw that he is suffering from a personality disorder, you want to leave him? What about those 3 months, I mean, in those 3 months you didn't notice that there was anything wrong with him, did you? So why do you think that that personality disorder of his is going to be hard to deal with? Maybe that is an old diagnose and he already got better? Why don't you just mention it yourself to him and see what he has to say about it?
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The person above me might be right about this, if you haven't already noticed anything in your boyfriend's behavior that would make you think that he is suffering from any kind of disorder, then you should just let it be or maybe ask him about it (he might get mad at you for looking at his personal papers). Maybe this really happened a long time ago and he already got over it, was there a date written about when he was diagnosed with this personality disorder? I wouldn't just leave him if I were you, you can investigate a bit before doing anything like that.

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Every person is dealing with something, you just can't see it, neither did you see that your boyfriend is dealing with a personality disorder until you saw it in his medical record. He deserves a chance, whether it is a chance to continue your relationship or a chance to explain all of this to you, why did he hide from you that he is or was suffering from a personality disorder. It would be very immature and selfish of you if you would just leave him because of your findings and not even give him a chance to explain all of that.
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It's definitely not easy living with any personality disorder and people make it even harder for these people who are suffering from personality disorders because they simply don't understand what it's like and neither can we because we have never experienced it and probably never will, but regarding everything that I read and what I know about these disorders, I know for sure that it is not easy at all for these people.

It is up to you to decide whether you want to date someone suffering from personality disorder, there is no right or wrong, it is your life and your choice.
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