My ex boyfriend and I were at a friend's house one day for a movie. He ended up sitting in my chair with me and then he didn't leave. Not that I'm complaining about that :-D I was wearing a spaghetti strapped shirt so I had a strapless bra on. He had slowly worked his hand up my torso and had pulled my shirt above my breasts. He slid my bra down and was grabbing my breasts. He was working up to this in a respectful way, so that I could tell him to stop if I wanted to, but I didn't want to. So after we left he kept apologizing about it as if he were ashamed of what he had done even though we had both liked it. That was about a week and a half ago. Today we went to the same friend's house and it happened again. This time it also went further though. He slowly worked his hand into my pants and started fingering my vagina. After a while he stopped. I can admit that I was kinda sad about that. Then it happened again, but this time with his other hand, he moved my hand over to his penis. It was already erect. I couldn't help myself, I started grabbing it and rubbing it, but it was all through his pants. Then he guided my hand into his pants and we did the same thing, only with skin to skin contact. I'd never done anything like this before, but I didn't want to stop. Then when the movie was over and my other friends were playing a game where they had their eyes closed, he kept making out with me and grabbing my breasts again. When he left he was apologizing again. There's going to be another movie next week and I don't know what to do. Should I let him do it again? Should we go further? Should I refuse? What about the fact that we're not dating anymore? What happens if we do go further and we end up having sex? What will that do to our relationship? I'm sorry for all the questions, I just really care for this boy and I don't want to lose him. What should I do?
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Ok, here's my thing (BTW I'm male, 28, married, and fondly remember going thru this myself on multiple occasions). Find out if he really cares for you, and is interested in a relationship - or if he wants you as a play toy. Over time your relationship with him (be it friend or dating) will progress naturally, so if you're confuzed just talk to him. If he doesn't want to listen, or he's being pushy about continuing the "handy work" (no matter how much he apologizes afterwards) then just avoid him all together.
To answer your question "What about the fact that we're not dating anymore", that really doesn't matter IMO. It's possible he is attracted to you (which is different from lust) and wants to work things out. It's also possible he just wants to "have fun" with you.
To answer "Should we go further", if he asks you point blank "Wanna have sex?" I'd say no. But that's me. If it's not happening naturally, I tend to find ways out of the situation. You are a different person, so you may disagree. That's just my 2 cents. It's all about communication and things going and feeling 'natural'. I hope this helps you out some.
Razinhail in Missouri
To answer your question "What about the fact that we're not dating anymore", that really doesn't matter IMO. It's possible he is attracted to you (which is different from lust) and wants to work things out. It's also possible he just wants to "have fun" with you.
To answer "Should we go further", if he asks you point blank "Wanna have sex?" I'd say no. But that's me. If it's not happening naturally, I tend to find ways out of the situation. You are a different person, so you may disagree. That's just my 2 cents. It's all about communication and things going and feeling 'natural'. I hope this helps you out some.
Razinhail in Missouri
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IF there is no relationship you will be a "Friend With Benefits!" So you REALLY have to think about this! Is it just a purely physical attraction - no heart, nothing? Or do you still have feelings for this guy and you guys aren't really Ex's!? Doesn't sound like an Ex to me! So get that down in writing - so to speak - before going ANY further with "Movie Night!" - NOTE TO SELF: STOP CHILDREN HAVING FRIENDS OVER FOR MOVIES! ;-) XD XD - Also "fooling around" honey is FAR different than having sex! There is SEX and then there is "making love" So think about your age, your responsibility, your future and TALK to this guy - sounds like a normal kid who feels the same way you do! CONFUSED! So get the next steps correct and make them TOGETHER IF there is going to be that! You might think Sex is no big deal but it IS! And it can have life changing consequences if not thought out properly! And ALWAYS be protected NEVER EVER have sex unprotected even for a second OK? Good luck honey!
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