I don't know what to do...

Ok, first off, let me say that in no way am I a religious person. So the "sinner" side of the issue is not a problem with me. I've been married to my husband for 8 months. We've lived together for 16 months. When we are together, we are very much in the same mind set, and love each other's company. The problem lies with my husbands never-ending masturbation. I know that it is normal for a man to be "turned on" most of the time. But for some reason masturbation feels like cheating to me. Why should he have to use virtual reality, or his imagination to "release" his tension. I am a very open person, and will try anything once. So far, there is nothing I've told him I won't do except have another woman in our bed. We have sex quite often. What I would call a normal sexual relationship. At least once a day, or sometimes, if we are too tired, we might skip one day a week. We have discussed this topic many, MANY times and he keeps telling me that it is a part of him that I am trying to change, and that he would never ask me to change anything for him. But no matter how many times I tell him that it hurts me he continues to do it. There is no way I could imagine my life without him, but I also can't imagine my life staying on the path that it is on. I don't want to feel totally horrible how ever many times a month or what ever. I want to have a heathy relationship with my husband where he only wants me and doesn't need to use other means to "release his tension." Is there any helpful tips or ideas out there that might shed some light for me. Right now I'm living in the dark...

The problem is not with you. Its a me thing, not a we thing. Men (like me) have a relentless sex drive due to in my case anyway, a high libido that DEMANDS ATTENTION in a special way that's different from sex. I agree that his looking at porn instead of you can be destressing .to you. Maby if he looks at you thinking that another man wants to look at you and do more than look, may get him to see you as he saw you when you first met. that might get his nuts rolling in the right direction.

Just understand that you will NOT get him to stop beating off. If he says he has he's either one in 1000 or he's lying. I can't stop either and i've been beating off for decades. One night my wife caught me beating off in the bathroom. In the morning she asked me if my conscience was bothering me, i said no was hers? Our sex life was pathetic, so my reply was approprate. Where else should i go to, Jerry Springer?

You wrote that you are willing to try (almost) anything. Try watching him beating off, or better yet, join him in mutual masturbation, w/o porn, him just staring at your wonderful naked body. You have the curves. he has the urge. If he's afraid to boink himself in your presence, tell him to grow up. He's a grown married man with a real sex life with real issues that NEED to be addressed. YOUR ISSUES are as important as his, and until they are fully discussed to some sort of resolution, your problem will continue. You both may need professional help, but rest assured his beating off will not go away. Depending where you live (i'm in LA), you might try vaping a little marijuana. Its a natural aphrodisiac which may or may not help. Another person in your bedroom may very well end your marriage. Maby its you finding another man to leave him for. Will he find that acceptable?